The Dream

It’s devastating when it’s this way for one but not the other. Especially when there is indeed something in both hearts.

Am I not enough? Would I not make her happy?  What can I do?  How could she prefer Pain to me?  Especially when I know there is something there?

Would  someone else build her what I would?  Hold her the way I would?  Give her what I would? Share the adventure of my life with her the way I would?

If someone else was here and I was there,  I wouldn’t be hurting tonight.  Or ever again.

And yet that beautiful rose will curl up tonight with  sheep determined to consume her no matter how much her thorns scar him.

If I’m not enough…  it will be hard, but I could live with it. But watching her suffer… I just can’t bear it much longer.

The stress wounds her and drives her  deeper into the very abyss she is trying to crawl out of.  She knows it’s hurting her.  She knows where the pain comes from.

She just won’t stop the bleeding.  Ever increasing drink and green to ease the pain. And now an introduction to white.

I’m terrified.

I’m terrified that she is leaping into the fire she is trying to save herself from.

Because she  just won’t stop.  Why can’t my love be enough to make her stop?

Please, someone… help her stop…