You have literally no idea what direction you’re going. What it’s gonna lead to. Prayer lead to amazing things.
You run into an old song you hadn’t heard in six presidents and you start pumping the toes. And just like that, you feel like just going with it. Afraid of the tech? Charge it head on and learn how the darn thing works. Past was a blast, but if a ship sits still, it’s in the doldrums. That’s your life right now. Sail Forward. Doldrums suck. Run runaway.
Several days ago. Productivity has hit the roof ever since. Diet is holding strong. Weight loss is slow but steady. Dad noticed before you did.
Going boating for Memorial Day. Flame’s sis just got freshwater permit. Won’t be the ocean just yet. But you’re gonna bring a flag and a loud speaker. 😁
Three weeks total. Wasn’t the four minimum you were hoping for, but this has been great. The people here are ridiculously friendly, this tiny town is wonderfully quirky and for the most part, you always liked cooler weather.
Until you have to work outside in a foot of snow while another foot is accumulating beneath you, but not every day is Wednesday. 😂
This place actually reminds you of a cold South. Literally passing by General store just to get out of the house for a bit.
Drumheller is about the size of Travelers Rest, SC, if it wasn’t close to Greenville. Big enough for an old school Walmart, but not enough for a Best Buy in retailspeak.
Thanks to a quirk in the schedule you have a day to rest before heading home, which has been great.
Difficult quantify how difficult the deployments have been because you’re just better conditioned than you were in 2022. But this one might have actually beaten Pennsylvania for the toughest gig you’ve had.
Working outside in the summer heat in Texas is rough whether you’re dealing with humid heat or desert heat. But freezing wind sucks the life out of you. Afternoons were better, but only when you started bringing a change of clothes since you sweated so much then the cold came right in and made a frozen shell around you otherwise.
The machines that you were fire-brigading were 50 pounds a piece and your squad moved 11,000 of them through freezing wind, terrible back pain, dangerous mud and a freak April blizzard. All to finish slightly ahead of schedule. Feels great; it really does. You went into the teeth of this place in literal subzero conditions and rocked the cas-bah so much the client asked yall to hit karaoke night with them. Roman Coles with one of your best bro coworkers was a great way to end the gig.
Wish you could be up here for months. Honestly, this place would be a great place to live. At the very least a summer home.
Even found a spot…
If you were to live up here, it’d be on a quirky place like Drumheller the dinosaur capital, and places like an actual saloon nearby for coal miners founded in 1913 lolz.
But now, it’s time to head home. Not sure what the immediate future holds, but that’s for next week to reveal.
Company branching into electrical; that might be worth getting into. Learning AI is a must either way. You will be carrying a torch soon enough.
It happens so fast. One song when you sit down in the plane. Cheesy, but you feel it in your veins. You’re going home. April in Charleston. The Sea calls. Gonna visit her tomorrow. Talk to Him.
The future is up on the air in so many ways. This feeling though.☺️
You’re 49 now. But you’re still who you are and always were. Would be better if it was hymns that fired you up, but God can work with even Alestorm. Least until you grow up. 😂
Warmth. Life. Growth. Renewal. Confidence flooding your veins after kicking ass for two weeks.
Well, first week, short and sweet. Time to head back to the holy city. And then it’ll be back out here for the heavy work. Beautiful house; you hope you’ll be able to get the Airbnb here again. Just like the old Vrbo houses you got in Kentucky several years ago, but this one’s actually close enough stuff in this small town.
Even sounds like an industrial center. Most people are ridiculously friendly and kind; working with a really good crew as usual. Honestly, despite the cold you wish you could just stay up here continuous for a few months; until it gets warm and is the same as everywhere else.
Flame made you a hat. Works pretty darn well.
Naturally, you miss spring in Charleston, but it will be nice to get away and say something different for a change. You always enjoy working on your birthday. Tribute to that time He gave you that birthday card back in 2009 on your first day back at work after arrogance put you in the doldrums.
Not gonna lie… you’re kind of shocked you haven’t thought about Crow constantly. I mean, yeah she’s three hours away, but you’re three hours away from Charlotte. Drumheller isn’t Edmonton. No place here will be where she kissed you in the snow. Seven years ago. Wow. Such a magical time. So much of your life was different then. In good ways and bad.
Similar weather, but this is the badlands, not the Prairie. The cash is colorful and you always loved the idea of dollars being coins. You could vacation here easily in happily. Snow is always amazing to visit. Not sure how you would deal with it being the usual.
The last two times you’ve flown have been disasters. A bit of trepidation about tomorrow, but you’ve flown so much in the last few years it was bound to happen at some point.
It’ll be warmer when you’re out here again. Hopefully won’t need to bring as many clothes. You’ll get to see Ted a little bit longer. Baby cat is hanging in there. Older and slower, but she still loves to cuddle. You’re glad mom and dad can watch her for you. Helps Mom get past the loss of Sam. Really hit her hard.
Not sure how long these deployments are gonna keep going on. End might be in sight, which means you’re gonna need to have a plan soon. You could get by entirely on the store, but that would be miserable. Your skill set is AI bait, so the next half of your life is going to be interesting no matter how you slice it. Work is looking at branching out into electrical set up. Being an electrician would be really useful, but you’re not sure you have the kind of patience needed at this point in your life. Would be a cool way to die though.🤔
Need to get to know how AI works. That’s gonna be the secret to a lot of doors opening that you don’t even know exist yet. And it’s gonna take a lot of time and patience. And learning online, which frankly you both despise and suck at.
Could always be worse.
You’ll almost certainly be spending the night in Chicago because the plane is late.
What do You want? From me that is? Do You want me to totally just forgive everything from the past? That’s fine. I did that a long time ago. Of course it was different then. She was over there, and I was over here. If we’re gonna talk about that, then my baggage gets drawn out.
My baggage it gets put on her at that point – but unfairly. She just dumped me when we were kids. Oh boo-hoo. I’ve been through so much worse since then. It’s actually kind of funny. And she’s not responsible for a fact that I didn’t have kids. I can have kids until I’m 80 but I’m just not attracted to girls. I’m attracted to *women*.
What do You want? She can’t take care of herself. She just can’t. She doesn’t have a clue how to live by herself. How much things cost. She thinks I’m the most amazing man on earth and she is absolutely head over heels in love with me. She makes me feel amazing about myself instead of ever hurting me… but she can’t survive on her own. She hasn’t even started driving again. It’s not like she’s had a reason or her own car to do it but still…. 😔
Is this what I want? No, that isn’t the question anymore. That was the question for all of my life until last year. Is that what You want for me?
What do You want? I trust You. The woman You want for me is who I need to be with. And I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of scared. I can take care of her; health issues and all… if that’s what You want. Is it? She agrees with me on anything I want. She does what I want. She trusts me. She loves me. Her mindset is what a man in the 50s would want, but despite the fact, Pleasantville was an amazing movie. I just don’t know that that’s me.
I always thought I needed someone who would clamp down on me when I needed it. i’ve always pushed her to be independent. I don’t want a woman who needs me, but one who wants me.
In time I think she will draw me closer to You. I hope so. Pray so.
I’m confused. I’m scared. But I think I’m finally wise enough to realize that who You want for me is who I need to want for me. You know why.
And that’s what I need to focus on. You. Not me.
You.
Not me.
You.
Please draw me closer to You in all things.
Please be with those Sacred to me. Especially tonight. I’m worried about them. Hope it’s nothing. Will never stop praying though. That love for them isn’t mine. It’s Yours. And it will never die.
Please guide me in Your will. Take care of all of those whom I have shared my life and time with.
It’s Not a Frame of Mind 