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Finally home for what seems like probably five minutes.

Just appreciate it. Appreciate Ted. Kidney disease. She won’t be around too awfully much longer. But you said that last year and God let you keep her for another year.

You’re pretty much been gone since the fourth of July, but had to deal with a good old bedbug issue thanks to most likely one of a half dozen places you’ve stayed recently.

Hopefully they’re gone now. But along with a sofa and a bunch of other stuff.

Third time you’ve had some kind of an infestation and home became a war zone lolz.

The store was on life-support. Then after being gone it went gangbusters. No idea what’s happening with that algorithm. Because of course you wouldn’t. That would mean stability which is the one thing you just apparently can’t have anymore.

My goodness the idea of a 9 to 5 just bothers you but holy crap you missed that kind of stability. Made more money this year than you have in a long time, but it’s scary to spend it unless you really know you’re gonna have more coming in and when.

That feeling is starting to actually overcome the enjoyment of not having a boss.

Change is everywhere; mostly for the worse, but that’s life. Holy crap you miss the 90s. The early 00’s. When everything was new, people were more sane, and there was so much more optimism.

Well, that’s your job isn’t it? You’re getting back to some warmth with the Holy Spirit lately and that’s definitely something you need. Need more interaction too. You miss having that weekly Bible study.

So many other things. This tiny little corner keeps getting neglected, but it’s just because there’s so much swirling around that you’re in the midst of. It’s too bad because actually talking here kinda almost helps you sort through it.

You were so looking forward to Con and it was over so unbelievably fast. What are you looking forward to now? Well nothing, which is probably why you’re a bit down.

Would be nice to take Flame on a trip, but you don’t have much future certainty on even when you could, and that’s assuming that her health issues wouldn’t flare up yet again.

Would be nice to build something. Something real. Something constructive. You just have a lot more energy now that you’re not carrying around two extra bowling balls of weight.

That’s temporarily stagnated just because you’ve been traveling so much, but it won’t for long. You love feeling younger. More energetic. Not gonna give that up.

Well, that’s it. Ted wants to cuddle.

Time to cuddle.

A perfect song

There’s not a lot of them. This is one. It’s always amusing to hear people discussing whether or not it’s referring to being in love with a woman or being in love with heroin. Something tells you the exact same chemicals in the brain apply for both. 😂

Holy wow, so much has happened in the last few months. You really need to get back on here more. Not just a great outlet for creativity but it’s oddly good for you in a way you don’t really understand.

I mean, literally anyone in the world can find this stupid little corner of the Internet. And here you are a fool sharing his life with potentially anyone anywhere. There’s something vicarious about that. Like maybe there’s someone out there that needs encouragement somehow finds some, and maybe someone who needs to feel better about themselves finds it and realizes they aren’t nearly as cringe as you are. 😂

Well, whoever you are, and wherever you’re from – God loves you.

Look at all of human history. Our wars. Our intolerance. Our hatred. Our crimes. Look at the savage species that you belong to. How we can know what it is to live in a world where we don’t have to worry about where our next meal comes from, yet we can so easily justify doing horrible things in service to our various beliefs.

Look at us. Our weapons. Our careless desire to defeat each other that we might create man-made horrors of unimaginable consequence without any heed of wisdom or restraint.

We have designed weapons large enough to incinerate cities. That science was more important to us than curing cancer.

There is no such thing as a good person. And yet God still loves us.

Because as flawed, broken, and sinful as we are – we are still made in His image.

We look into a broken mirror, shattered by our own pride, anger, lust, hate, etc.

But we can still see what He made. And that’s why we know what is right and what is wrong.

Animals are sinless because they don’t.

Seriously. Sinless. ☺️

We are ‘animals’ that do know. And we have a choice every day. Every hour. Every moment. 

This song is about love, yet you wax poetic about the sins of humanity. Yeah – it’s a Western trait. Humility. Introspection. Celebrating good deeds, but remembering bad deeds.

This is why the West gets a bad rap. Because we are the only ones who do.

It’s like a job where everyone else says “I don’t know what happened, but it’s not my fault”… and you’re the only one conscientious enough to admit when you made mistakes and that you need to do better…

…and soon everyone looks at you as the only one who makes mistakes.

This extended video is beautiful. It’s the West. It really is. The beautiful West. Not the part that you pay attention to if you want to whine about “stolen land” as if the West was the only civilization to ‘steal’ it.

The Beautiful West. The one we want to live up to. May we use guilt only as a warning, and strive for the beauty of what could be, if we choose to embrace our inner love for goodness we could only from being made in His image.

And the years to come, the threats that we will face will be the result of our hands, minds, and weaknesses.

And if and when we have the honor of standing victorious, please Lord bless us with Your Voice in our ear telling us to “Remember, for thou art mortal.”

May God grant us swords of truth. Shields of faith. Helms of wisdom. May we put on the Armor of God.

Now is such a great time. ❤️✝️🕊️

30

Considering the phone weighs a pound…

That’s 30 extra pounds your knees aren’t carrying around.

Doesn’t even include all the muscle you put on working seven out of the last eight weeks lifting 35 and 50 pound machines.

Just in time for Con. 😃

Thank you, Lord.🙏

Back for more

The bookstore is worth it, but wow do you miss nights like this, with a storm inbound, sitting under cover in the garage, as God’s power is on full display before you.

Back in West Virginia. Biz with contracting back on front burner after Alberta. Welcome surprise; hope business keeps booming.

Would love to take Flame to Con again. If she can make it. If it’s not one thing it’s another with health issues and hospitals.

You’re wise enough to not go without her. Going single is one thing. Going alone while in a relationship… well there’s a reason it’s called Nerd Mardi Gras.

She’s got to get better though. You’ve lost almost 30 lbs thanks to carnivore and gained some good muscle after a month of hauling around literally thousands of 35 pound machines. Next week is time for the 50 pound ones… and you’re stoked.

Thanks to AI , you can ask of any menu what would work best for your diet and eating out isn’t a problem anymore.

Easily in the best shape you’ve been in in decades. Money flowing, looking like it might continue to for a while thanks too of all people, Congress...

Things are going so well… for YOU …but so much is wrong. You’re getting distant from God. Again. 😒

You force yourself to start mornings with things like

Do you need to force prayer? It’s because you just don’t really want to read the Bible? Praying is easy. Studying the word of God is not. Ironically, one of your big hang ups when it comes to storytelling is, well… deserts.

You can’t stand deserts. You love water. It’s one of the reasons why you never got into Westerns. Land in every direction, and not a drop of water save for taking a saber to a cactus. How on earth did people live that way? In the holy land 2000 years ago or Arizona in the 1870s? 

Stories of people in the desert. That’s basically the Bible. It’s times like this that Bible study groups move over to, say a CS Lewis book. No matter what, God deserves more and you know it.

The good news is that you know it, and by a sheer willpower are going to make sure you stay on the path because something is obviously trying to drag you off of it. 

Why do you feel distant from God? Why are you having difficulty praying? Why are you having trouble staying on task and trying to focus on eternity instead of the mudball crib?

Who cares? Pray about it, find a solution and do it. Real problems are on their way because they always are. What kind of a man are you going to be? 

With all of these gigs, it’s been difficult to get to church. YouTube helps, but it’s not the same. 

Not that that would solve the problem either. The problem is you. You’re out of alignment with God. You don’t even really know what that means but you feel it’s true. Even the term is something you’re literally just making up to try to explain it.

You’re not in any danger of forgetting for one moment everything He’s done for you. The literal fortress of your foundation of faith stands strong thanks to the people who raised you. 

You’re just a buffoon that can’t seem to build anything on that foundation. Well, maybe that’s too harsh. Whatever it takes to curb that arrogance with some self deprecating humor to make sure it doesn’t lead to low self-esteem.

These entries have always been a diary. It’s so liberating to share with the world your life. Things about it that you want to share with strangers, while doing everything you can to keep names and places private.

*****

Always start. Days pass. Can’t even remember where you left off. Eh, Good Problems… 😂