Optimism

Not even noon yet on Monday and you can tell this is going to be a trial of a week. And you still know the storm on the horizon hasn’t really even begun to churn yet.

Life just never hits you piecemeal does it? Well maybe it does, but it’s not so bad because it is just one at a time.

You’ve been through far worse and you will be through far worse in the future. That’s not the problem. Problem is the storm is bigger than just you.

One of your dearest friends is neck deep in anger at you and honestly has been for a few weeks, for reasons you really don’t understand. You’ve tried to stay positive, then she tried twice to stab you in the heart when you failed her. She’s pushing you away. She must have her reasons, but you’re really worried about her. How can you not be? Mixed messages for months and months and you literally just don’t know what’s truly going on in her mind…or heart. She seems like she wants to hurt you and there’s only one way left that she can. And that wouldn’t just hurt; it would devastate you.

A new friend and coworker is fighting her own battle just to come into work. You feel you need to make it as easy on her as you can or she’ll crack. Considering you can’t even make it easy for yourself, an uphill battle begins… along with the hell of having to go back to where you spent eight months of misery for “a little while”.

You can see it in mom’s and dad’s eyes they’re afraid for each’s health, and you know they’d keep you away from the stress as much as they could – so it’s worse than you think. That’s all you can know. Which makes it worse.

Tiny slivers of silver lining can be found, but this is no time for Optimism. But that is why Optimism is more important than ever.

It’s hitting in May for a reason. Just hope the reason isn’t because it would destroy you some other time.

You hark on the virtue of Wisdom, but that’s because what little wisdom you actually have, you treasure – because you’d suffered so hard to get it.

And that Wisdom tells you…trust Him. No matter how mad you are at Him. No matter how hard it gets. No matter what you don’t understand.

And if you lose everyone you love, and everything you have, and god forbid everything you are…

Be nothing but thankful for the days you got to have them in your life…

…and hold fast. Because the page is about to turn…and the new heart you’re building isn’t ready yet…