Mysteries

No it’s not just one night. 🤔 There are definitely some disconnects…. but oddly enough… while occasionally annoying they seem to define much about your interactions with each other.

As you slowly sail closer together, you see at least one potential disconnect on both sides… but each seems… like it might be part of what makes you appeal to each other. Well, a guy can hope, right? 😊

You just can’t read her. At least not at distance. I mean you understand general thoughts, definitely pick up on strong emotions, but you really do have difficulty looking past the obvious with her. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why you find her so mysterious. 🤔

But part of the problem with being the Crow is that to an outside observer, all manner of things are possible, and for someone kind of heart, this inevitably brings concern.

But… all things considered that’s…. maybe not a bad thing….

Honestly that kind of concern is something that has tormented you in the past. Being at home trying to stay distracted while someone you care about is out, in your mind at least not caring about the worry that you’re having for them.

She doesn’t know about the baggage regarding that and that’s for the best. Besides… the Man upstairs has a way of making you confront your pain to conquer it, so it doesn’t scar you in the future as it has in the past. So salute this old tormentor on the field of battle with the intent of vanquishing it.

The Crow knows your heart. So if you can’t read her you can take comfort in knowing that she can read you.

But therein lies the irony…..

It’s very possible she has her own shortcoming… as time goes on you’re really starting to think…

Maybe… she really doesn’t understand you. 🤔

Not just a good man in the way a good man believes and behaves. Her dad was a good man, so it’s not like she doesn’t have experience being around them.

But at the end of the day it doesn’t really seem like she truly understands much more than the simple things when it comes to you. (Good thing there’s not much more lol…) Sure she knows the obvious stuff, but… on many occasions her actions really did not bring forth responses she was expecting.

And she is wise enough to know that you’re not the kind of person that’s pushover at the end of the day no matter how strongly they feel for someone. You’ve told her of a few instances where you’d placed a Rubicon in front of her without telling her that she unexpectedly turned at the last second and unknowingly avoided crossing.

She really doesn’t understand the joy in your heart. She’s marveled at it more than once which deep down made you even more giddy truth be told. 🤣

Part of you feels like she is still shocked by the fact that you’re still around. Maybe she thinks you are a pushover… but… no, you don’t think so…

Oh there’s no doubt that anyone could be pushed away if they have a strong sense of self-respect like you in fact do… but it’s just unlikely that she would push you to that point given the sort of person she is.

Still it is interesting… 🤔

There’s no way she would believe that you still don’t consider yourself a “sure thing” for her given the vastness of your feelings for her. That while you wait for her… and make plain to her your intentions… she actually could still lose you.

And even if she did believe it, she probably would not believe how. One way would be for her to drop everything and come to you – though not something you’re worried about – because you actually are serious when you say she needs to heal.

Lol and to be honest, you don’t have a plan for that… 🤣

If and when she meets the folks she will likely understand you a lot more. But she really doesn’t understand at the end of the day what really makes you tick.

Maybe because you’re just from two different worlds. Maybe because the world has bent her into negativity so harshly, positivity as a default might seem alien.

Meh… hopefully that changes one day.

She’s both kicked you in the teeth and warmed your very soul many times – each without even meaning to, almost to the point where you’re used to it.

Maybe that’s why you have become more and more comfortable being unable to read her…

Or maybe you’re just as blind as ever, and she gets you in ways you could never comprehend. 🤔

Feel that heart beat, Atreyu. Didn’t used to be that strong. Not in decades and Not until her. This is one of those disconnects that makes things so irresistible to you. Hopefully in someway to her as well, but definitely to you.

She knows she put some fear into you tonight. She also knows that you want her to be happy and trust her in every way – but the one she asked you not to…

…Which ironically happened to be tonight. 🤣

You do have a tremendous fear deep down for her, but it’s not what she thinks. Well, probably not at least. You also have a fear about your own turbulence that has been regenerated.

There are other fears of course, but if you can steel yourself and cultivate that mutual trust… there will be nothing to fear.

Be True. Just Be True.

And seriously – calm down. You know she’s protective of you too. That means she gets you – even if she never really truly understands the how or why… she gets you. And that’s actually even better. 🙂

And in all of your hopes, dreams, fears, and loves… whether she realizes it or not… She’s helping you heal your wounds too.

ROFLMAO #HowHeRolls 🤣🤣🤣