Night or Day?

You really don’t know. You’re trying your best to ignore your feelings, but you can’t. Any success on your part comes from what you truly want for her and her request to find it.

She can see right through you, so there’s no reason to act otherwise, other than to keep up appearances so you don’t get in the way.

Maddening, isn’t it? Lol maddening in a different way though… maddening in a way you can actually handle because no matter what this is good for her. Finally what is good for her.

So what about you? So much going on around you. Swirling vortexes of many different folks are surrounding you, and each day at work you are almost on an island, alone and able to focus…. only this tiring problem rearing its ugly head out of nowhere robs you of it.

What the Crow learns in the west rhymes with you sleeping on a bed for a week, and the two voices become one – His. Was wondering when He was going to show up, lolz…

Damn that uncomfortable thing. If the mask isn’t on just ride it sprays air straight into your wounded eye, drying it out even more than staring at a screen for 20 hours.

But He wants you to wear it. And He is showing you her concern for you to do it. Yeah, that’s almost a cheap shot, lolz…

Part of acting your age is acknowledging that you’re statistically over halfway to the grave – if you’re lucky of course. Nice to know that people care enough about you to want you to max out what time you have left.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way was it? You were supposed to be a heck of a lot more. A lot more meaningful. A lot more respectable and well known. At least have a better career, and more money.

Maybe the reason you never did is because you have nothing to fight for. By yourself you’ll be fine. Not great but fine. Likely dying in a nursing home alone in about 35 to 40 years.

Memories of various pets adopted here and there. A sense of loss, but at the very least not a sense of unhappiness. It would be stumbling into the next world as safely as possible.

No wonder you’re attracted to dangerous women… 🤣 You can afford to be – so long as you remember where you came from and hold true to rule number three.

Fascinating how so many things happen at once. It was merely three weeks ago you were with her…and it seems like ages.

You are in tonight. The honest reason is that you are very tired and don’t want to go out. Which is a shame because you honestly have many options tonight. Oh sure you’d love to talk to her tonight… but… you know she needs a break from you.

Maybe that’s what the source of being down is…

… but then she asks you for some funny pictures of your teeth… and you remember that she does really care about you. Even if it isn’t meant to be, she does truly care about you.

And that makes literally everything better. So no…nevermind. There’s no question after all.

It’s Day. 🙂

You just don’t know what time. And right now you don’t care.

God bless that woman, and keep her safe.

May God grant you clarity in the other paths that you travel.

The Crow was right about your former coworker the Celt. She was put in your life for a reason also. And though romantically there’s not much there… you’ve gotten to know her a bit better. Been shown some of her pain. And wow it’s… in many ways worse than any other you’ve ever seen.

There’s something about her that holds a key to brighter future for one of you, and that is a reason to be grateful.

She knows about the Crow and your feelings, which is one reason she is probably more trusting of your intentions then she would otherwise be.

The Crown is reaching out, yet being distant. You don’t know what to do with that.

Friends need you. Coworkers need you. And yet you’re alone in so many ways.

So what’s next?

Well… anytime you ask, you know what the answer is. And you’ve been keeping Him waiting for a while now.

One hell of a broken promise to explain, that you didn’t see coming.

And the fact that you have difficulty regretting it… leads you to even more worry.

What will the consequences be? You can’t punish yourself to get out of them, that’s one lesson you sure as hell have learned.

You know what you fear the most, and how you would interpret that. And you really hate yourself for it because there’s no way you could put that on her.

So you can’t do it. What you gave her was meant for your wife. And that’s why it felt right. But it was your decision. And you would never hold that against her. It was the world to you but you can never risk even an appearance of machinations. Just the thought of that sickens you. Thank God you’re better than that. If she’s right… you used to not be.

You really don’t even know how to process it. Still. All you know is that you will never be happy unless He is on your side.

Oh fun…a paradox. Well… make it easy on yourself. Be honest with yourself. And Him. And her – if she asks. Otherwise don’t burden her.

Well then… seems like it’s late afternoon after all… 🤔

It’s alright… take solace in the fact that things are moving… and you actually have finally started to learn from her…🌷🙏 🕊

You are truly blessed… never cease giving thanks… and never cease sharing those blessings with those dear to you…🙏