The game bar. That week.

Yeah screw it. You know what? You’re going back to this again. You ran across something about games. Reminded you of that amazing little place that you shared with the Crow.

That little bar that was a game place also? Really seemed nice. I mean what wouldn’t that week?

Why the hell, Atreyu? Why the hell can’t you get past it? I mean right now it’s forgivable… you can’t date when you don’t have a job. When you don’t have a job it’s an insult to the fabric of your being. Your purpose is to be a man and that means being a fucking man. Having a fucking purpose. Earning a fucking living.

And yeah, given the circumstances it’s important to get your medical issues solved before getting another job.

But you still can’t date. Because you still aren’t worthy. And you know what? You are so thankful for that view. You have standards for yourself. Standards that you must meet before finding someone to share your life with.

Oh you absolutely despise materialism in women… but the reason for it is just a part of your soul. You are useless until you can care for others that you love.

Useless.

Well that sucks doesn’t it? You feel that pain? You damn well better.

You’re not a man right now. You’re a boy.

And any woman that’s worth a damn would pass on you until you get your shit together.

No excuses.

None.

It doesn’t matter. You’re still in love. And thus… still embarrassed.

So why on earth did you grow that new heart? So far it doesn’t seem to be any different. You know that it is, but right now it doesn’t seem that way.

Whatever. Fuck it. Right now you have a good excuse. You couldn’t imagine dating anyone else anyway. Take it and go with it. For right now….. you have a decent excuse.

And that excuse is….. your existence is meaningless until you can provide for Someone you care for.

And don’t you fucking forget it.

Now, find out what the hell is wrong with you. The way the universe works if you continue on your path you’ll die alone for some absolutely, truly, inconceivably mind-bogglingly stupid reason.

Get your shit together. It’s just not happening. Destiny no longer exists.

Deal with it.