The North Carolina fan

Most likely 1986. 86 or 88, one of the two. North Carolina Tar Heels at Clemson Tigers. One of the games you and Dad made it to. Might have been with Earle, maybe not.  You were young; either 9 or 11, and it was a nice November day.

A big crowd is there always was for a Tigers game. 85,000, something like that. You remember the atmosphere; it never changed, despite all though ups and downs the Tigers went through over the years, from the time they We’re out of boiled peanuts at halftime to the time Mike Eppley was safetied in the end zone to give Carolina a one point win to the time they first installed Wi-Fi in the stadium and you could keep track of the stats at your leisure.

The atmosphere never changed. It was always fun, always festive, always stressful, but what you always found was fascinating was when you were near a fan of the opposing team. Takes a special kind of interesting person to go to an away game when you’re not favored to win. Surrounded by the other teams fans there’s a limit on how rowdy you can get. And yet on a few occasions you have someone that’s that special kind of rowdy… 🤣

Then sometimes it’s like 1986 and you have that pair of North Carolina fans that sat in the row behind you just a few seats over to your right. Dad was on your left and something happened that went Clemson’s way. May have been an interception for a touchdown. Doesn’t matter.

The crowd went wild and there was so much sound from that loudness. You heard the North Carolina fan closest to you yelling in disgust but you couldn’t make out what he said. Dad heard, and shot the guy a mean glance. Maybe someone else in the crowd did too. 

The guy leaned into you with a smile on his face and said “I’m sorry, kid; I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t say things like that.” You hadn’t even heard what he said, so you just said “OK” and went back to watching the game.

Well it’s been an awful long time since then and of all the memories you have when you were a child,  well more accurately put… of the few memories you still have from when you were a child… that’s one.

You remember Clemson won the game, and it was a nice day, and what the guy said. Why on earth would you remember that? Why wouldn’t remember the first time you kissed Kelly Jacobs? Why wouldn’t you remember one of a million other things that it makes more sense to remember?

Took you long time to figure it out. But when you did this simple, virtually meaningless moment  you thought of one day in the context of mortality itself.

You’re gonna be dead in 50 years. Sorry to burst your bubble, lolz. so many other people are leaving behind legacies. Many are leaving behind kids. Who will grow up and leave behind kids of their own. What will you leave behind?

I mean you not being here anymore will matter to someone, at least for a little while… until they die. Then at a certain point, everyone who you actually we’re on a first name basis with will be gone. What then?

Name 10 people from the 15th century. If you thought about it you could do it but the challenge alone illustrates the point. If you don’t leave behind children what could you leave? What could you do that will impact the world in the years if not centuries to come?

You have no idea if that North Carolina fan is still even alive today 34 years later. Chances are no one else around that heard or saw what he said to you remembers it. Just you.

Just two human beings with probably a little in common sharing one temporary moment out of billions each will have and for some reason you remember.

And it had a tiny, minuscule effect on you. A belief that you held thanks to mom and dad was reinforced. Watch your language and apologize when you’re wrong.

You already knew this. But there was that affect that changed your life in the tiniest way – being a part of the environment around you that shaped you.

You help shape the environments of everyone that you interact with. And they yours. It might be in the smallest way, but you change someone’s life anytime you interact with them.

That’s what you leave behind. And the sum of the interactions each person has in their life helps shape them, and so on and so forth.

And you have the choice. The choice of whether to try to pass on goodness, happiness, positivity, and love… or not.

You help shape the environments of others, as they help shape yours.

Be mindful of what you leave behind, and take comfort that if you see goodness in this life, it’s because others passed down moments of positivity all throughout the centuries.

What kind of environment do you want to have for yourself? But more importantly, what are you going to leave behind, Atreyu?

 Choose well…