Mirror Gate

Fascinating. Flame wanted to watch the NeverEnding Story with you. No video, but you synced the viewing and talked on text during.

I mean, you’re going to watch it anytime someone wants to. But…yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and say it. You remembered sharing it with Crow. Couldn’t stop being reminded of sharing it with her and how exited you were. Seeing her smile as you degenerated into an eight year old. Opening up a part of your life that you don’t share with people in general. The level of comfort. The wonder. I mean come on it is really stupid, but it is what it is. Sharing it with her made you so happy. Anything with her made you so happy.

You had never watched it with Flame, because honestly when you were with her you could be described as being in the grip of The Nothing. Not focused on the bliss of imagination, But grounded in the mundanity of the real. Well, the temporal…. 🤔

You actually found somewhere online where someone identified all of the symbolism of The Neverending Story with references to Hinduism or some such, but the symbolism reached into your heart so differently, and spoke to your own faith so clearly.

The death of Artax, which you amusingly refuse to watch again to this day… in the swamps of sadness. Atreyu went into the swamp with Elements of his world… and they died, victims of the sadness of a mundane life. And still he pressed on. Found the answers from the giant turtle Morla and hopelessness they gave him. And he still pressed on. And all seemed lost as he slowly seems to give in to the sadness. And he still pressed on. The swamp sought consumed him he even has he pressed forward with the Gmork about to schew up what was left…. when he was saved at the last second by ‘Luck’, in the form of Falkor.

We fight against our weaknesses. Against sin. We fight in the hopelessness of swamps of sadness. And we learn we can’t escape. We can’t make it on our own. We try. We struggle. But only with faith can the gap be bridged. Faith not just in ourselves, but of more. Of those that raised us and inspired us, who support us and love us. Though a nonbeliever might call it Luck.

But why? Why struggle so hard to try to reach that point? Well… what on earth is so enamoring about this unremarkable existence? What is it about nearly going to work to pay bills and dealing with the mundane aspects of life day in and day out that is so appealing to so many people?

Why are we so “perfect”? Why are we so satisfied with who we are?  Our entire culture grapples with arrogance. We are what we are, and don’t seek to be better. I mean why be better without a cause, and what cause is there besides our own self gratification?

And at the end of the day… focusing on short term gratification just bites us. No, we don’t have to be some big activist that wallows in drama, or try to be something we’re not. There’s nothing wrong with even just being yourself you guess. But there’s no excuse to not work to be better.

Most people get older but don’t seem to grow up. And yet still they sacrifice their dreams to their own Nothing. Dreams of challenging her own confidence in front of your own Sphinx Gate, or confronting your true self in the Mirror Gate. So many people find their true self and then just yield to it. Easier. Don’t try to be more. Don’t try to be truly happy and at peace with the world around you. Good lord that’s the worst of all worlds.

Others use crutches. Substitutes for what truly matters to give them that feeling of accomplishment. Drugs, alcohol, gambling (though you’ve never understood why exactly that’s a vice because thankfully you don’t know many who suffer from it), etc. Things that get in the way of the beauty of existence behind the curtain of the real. That’s not to say they may have their place in a balanced life, but if they unbalance it, they’ve got to be a crutch for something.

This virus is the beginning of some really rough times for many, many people. At the end of the day, you can’t help feeling that the aftermath of the actions taken because of it will end up causing far more problems than the virus itself. That’s your grounding talking though, because it’s at odds with your nature of optimism and positivity. That doesn’t mean good things won’t come out of it – in fact you have high hopes that it will become a wake-up call to millions that they had their priorities completely misplaced. But you just have that feeling; especially seeing the divisions within the country and mindsets around the world. Thank God you live here though. The virus, like others, doesn’t like warm, humid places. Maybe you can suffer a little more humidity this year without being ungrateful for it as you’ve been for some time now.

The Swamps of Sadness, the Gmork, and its master, the Nothing. Perfect metaphors for the things we struggle with in our day to day lives. Depression, those who oppose us, but worst of all, the insidious forces of despair behind them all that seek to pound us down into nothing more than to be cogs in a machine with no hopes, dreams, or faith. Minions of darkness indeed.

And yet… always there are things and people entering into our lives providing Hope. And Hope is part of His plan.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” says Jeremiah 29:11. Or, as your pastor paraphrased amusingly… “Hope is faith in the future tense.”

Put your trust in Him. You’ve been doing so well falling asleep with the mask on, but keep screwing up napping during the day out of boredom. Grounding is necessary. Something is wrong, and you’re drifting slightly into a realm of unfeeling. Well, back into one. That’s not good. Just because a new old you was unlocked a few years ago… doesn’t mean it needs to be abandoned. You’d learned that lesson a while back. And don’t feel bad. Loneliness isn’t something you alone are suffering from at the moment, lolz… As a matter of fact, it’s likely more people suffer from loneliness right now than ever in history… ironic.

Meh. You’ll get past it. Have faith. Focus on regaining what you’ve lost. Healing your wounds. Plank. Speck. Now…try to sleep….