Open Roads

Whatever happened to Road Trips? You used to love the open road. Driving here, there; visiting far-flung friends. Often gaming. Or visiting the folks. Or once in a blue moon visiting a date because the laws of the universe forbid you from ever having a normal relationship with a woman that lived anywhere near you.

Pretty much since the moment you got car keys you LOVED going anywhere. Everywhere. You and two friends heading the 2 hrs to Myrtle Beach because y’all were in the mood for Johnny Rockets.

Fighting insomnia in college by learning the roads of Charleston firsthand at 3 am listening to Diana Ross and Billy Joel. In the mid-90s no less when both were out of style. You rebel. 🤣

Fighting depression over a girl you liked during Christmas break ’97 by finding out where I-77 went. LOL your poetic BS… it happened led to the redhead you’d dated freshman year that was in Cleveland and was happy to help you get past her.

LOL volunteering earlier to drive said girl all the way to Atlanta for Halloween because she was a freshman and didn’t have a car and really wanted to go home. Really kind since you had to work the next day and couldn’t spend Halloween there with her. Five ours there and back. But damn you loved driving. 😊

And then there was the epic road trip of road trips in 2002 – Getting everything ready and picking up your then-girlfriend up from work at 5pm… picking some stuff up at the apartment and heading north… needing to be in Buffalo New York in a specific church pew (That you would have to locate in an age before Smart phones) the next day at 12 noon. You could allow yourself one hour of sleep in a West Virginia motel room. No of course she couldn’t split time; You could never date a girl that has a car.

Even now looking back at it you still have no idea how you pulled it off; The two of you walking in to the wedding just before the bride came down the aisle. Sleep was pretty good that night. At least you picked up another friend there and could split time driving on the way back.

LOL your baby Cougar was sick so you had to rent a car and picked a convertible Sebring. Thought it would be neat to have a convertible for a weekend. And somehow you literally drove from Charleston to Buffalo literally all night somehow never getting out of the apparently America-wide downpour.

You just miss those days. Now you’re just older and wiser and can’t justify driving 2 hours to Columbia to visit the barber that you had for 20 years anymore lolz.

And like so many things, they’re no fun alone. Outside of visiting friends in Lancaster or maybe some in Columbia, The road trips just are too far out these days. Because if you go somewhere it has to be to see someone. What? Are you going to go to Myrtle Beach and take in a pirate show by yourself?

Nothing is stopping you from getting in your car and heading to Charlotte to visit one of those spiffy high-end malls… well… but money. And yeah you could spend the money if you had somewhere to crash, but…  there’s just that feeling…

That feeling of bliss and contentment driving home late at night in the Cougar with the windows down… The cold air whipping by at 80 miles an hour having had a great time just going somewhere and spending some time with someone you cared about.

Mentally preparing to be alone again? Almost definitely. Well sometimes you talked to God. A lot of other times you formulated D&D adventures. But there was always that common thread… you under the open sky late at night with few cars on the road always with a sense of contentment. The cooler the air, the better. And when it actually was winter time you just turned the floor heat on full blast lolz.

You have lived alone for the overwhelming majority of your adult life and even when you were a kid you were an only child and for the most part played by yourself. Wow yeah since you left high school, you have had roommates for a grand total of about seven years… out of 25. Three of those were living in the dorms.

But there at least just used to be the days when you can ask someone if they want to just go somewhere for the day. The smooth meditation driving was a more than adequate substitute, But you always came back to an empty place.

You lament this stuff, but where would you like to go? Let’s hear it. You could visit some friends in Greenville. Some in  Lancaster. Columbia. You could probably even do another road trip to good old Reston Virginia; see your friend up there. What? You’ve been bitching to yourself for about an hour about wanting to drive and now that you stop and think you don’t want to drive?

No… You know what the deal is. you are ashamed of your current circumstances you don’t want to be around so many of the friends you have known and respected for so long. You’ve gone through that before. It seemed like a much longer period of time that it was in retrospect. And yeah sure don’t beat yourself up over medical issues you can’t control at this point… but just take stock of what that is – pride. The bad kind, if it keeps you from spending time with people you love and care about.

Bottom line is you need purpose in life, and until you are independent again you don’t have the means. You hate being a burden (good) as much as you hate even feeling looked down on (bad).

Hell right now you can’t even go camping and sleep overnight without a massive extension cord for the stupid machine. Waiting sucks. Going solo through the adventure of life sucks.

You know all those roads. Been up and down them more than you could even imagine imagining. What you might just crave…is new experiences on them.

Don’t let it turn you bitter though. All those late night songs heading home in the Cougar bathed in moonlight going 80 made you feel… like you. Then you felt bad because you knew… there was someone out there that was really missing out. 

That’s what you need to find again. 🙂

Sell some stuff. Go somewhere. You need to. Bring a God. 😂

You like you. Something is telling you you need to remember why. Which means something is bothering you on a level you’re not perceiving. Even if you know what it is. 🤔

You’re not lost; but there’s no reason not to at least get out. You always came back happier. 🙂 This period of your life won’t be short… but like the last one, it will feel much longer than it actually is. Take heart in that. And it could always be worse, lolz…