Write. Save as Draft.

Good for getting feelings out. Writing stuff and not sending/posting. Letting feelings marinate for a little while Before putting them out there. Great way of letting sadness or anger or any other temporary tone out, and only sending after a few hours if you still feel that way.

Ironically of all places hearing about that technique from freaking Family Guy. Really hope it’s Actually a thing. 😂

Tomorrow is May 14th. 21 years later. Just doesn’t seem to have the impact it used to, and in all honesty that’s probably a good thing. Really looking forward to not meaning so much because other dates are far more worth celebrating.

But tomorrow you will have your cigar and talk to God in the cistern. Lots of stuff as always. For several years now it’s been a holding pattern. Fears. Concerns. Patience. For nine years it was feeling stuck at an easy but low end job. And then the high stress bad fit. And last year wow locked down and unemployed.

This is the first year you’re really gonna be at the beginning of something. Starting out small. Expanding as you expand it. No one else is going to do it for you. Exciting. For the first time in a decade… exciting. The other thing you always prattle on about, well… yeah it’s a train wreck but when is it not?

That part will be normal. but at least you will no longer be paralyzed. It’s odd… looking in the news and all around you it’s bad news, but things in your life seem to be actually looking up. Environment is healthy. Just spending more time around the folks thanks to them helping you at work… that positivity. Really starting to make a living building possibility itself with a friend as he raises his young family.

Things just feel different. Even though you have felt more distant from God lately… you’re looking forward to tomorrow night. Hanging out with the old friend. The Holy Spirit. The part of God that’s stuck on earth being a guardian angel. Doesn’t get a Testament and doesn’t even get a name. In the past you called him the “drinking buddy”; though now that seems inappropriate.

You’re growing up. Slowly but surely. Taking your time. Somethings just are more important and somethings just aren’t as important.

No matter what feeling the warmth in your life again instead of a cold distance will do you well. Good long chat. Prayers for those you care about. Dodging the campus cops so you can smoke your cigar in peace now that they have that ridiculous no smoking policy on campus. 😂

Been thinking about that old old game boy game. Radar mission. A copy of “Battleship”. But with a separate mode so they could have their own game. The sound effects always stuck with you. To this day that’s what you hear in your mind when a missile is fired. The uplifting music of when you have almost won.

Will have to embed it later. Sleep calls. And even that’s doing better. You are so blessed. And want to share it with someone so bad.