L

Yeah match is a disaster. What else would you expect until you can get in better shape? Seven pounds is a good start; nothing more. Work is going better. Books are coming back up in and going out well thanks to the folks. Have to figure out QuickBooks and the video conversion stuff. Bottom line is things are getting better, slowly but surely. Still don’t know what to say you do for a living, but it’s getting better.

The profile’s out of date, but you’re not changing anything for now. You were in a good place when you started it so just keep it there for now.

You occasionally get takers but no one you’re interested in. A few shots in the dark, but no one you liked seemed to have much interest. And then L. She ‘liked’ you and even started a convo with “hi!” just like a bunch of others, but you looked at that profile and it had ‘fake’ all over it. Late 30s, attractive redhead, in great shape. Pretty smile. Just wanted to get out and socialize apparently. Christian/other and conservative. Not much else under interests. Pictures were beautiful. A little too convenient. No way it was real.

Ignored her for a while. Took another look. Whoever found the pictures and was using them did well. And then you thought for a second that 20 years ago this would never even occurred to you; why weren’t you as confident as you were then?

Why not just see? You took screenshots of the pictures and did reverse image searches just to see where they came from. Zero results. For either one. Wow. She was real.

”Greetings! How are you?” and….. she vanishes. No conversation, no nothing. You have no idea how the site works but apparently you were blocked. Like, then message, then blocked when you responded. Hmmm. Certainly not the first time that’s happened. But hey, a possibility.

The funny thing is you weren’t actually even really disappointed. But she was real. That’s what matters. And if you keep working on yourself, it actually may lead to daylight with someone. You really don’t need to feel as insecure. Don’t stop working on improving yourself. But things might not be as bad in that area as you thought they were.

Crow told you not to mess with match. It’s not like you want to; there’s really just not much else for finding people. Rings are everywhere else. Have been for years.

The key is Him. Who He wants you to be with. He’s ultimately the source of love and happiness in your life. Terrifying though isn’t it? You don’t even know what that means. Could’ve sworn it was leading somewhere for a long time and… yeah. But that’s really your fault; not His.

But maybe you’re not as bad off as you thought. Just keep improving. Walking more. Eating better. Figure out the latest sleep crisis. You have to. Because your mind isn’t into it right now; you’re not even really interested in dating. Which means now’s the time. That’s just the way life is. Fight your tendencies.

Time Squared.