Hate this

Alone. Again. Whatever you want to eat. Whatever you want to do. Two days ago you were happier than you can ever remember . Now you can’t imagine going back but here you are. All the things she doesn’t like. YouTube. Games. Online stupidity. Things you’re stuck with now.

Cooking with her was amazing. Everything was amazing. You didn’t want to spend your time doing anything else. You wanted to share your hobbies with her to feel them from another perspective sure, but it was a whole New World with her. Every night even though you didn’t go anywhere it was a whole New World and you loved it.

You screwed it up. She was here in your arms and you screwed it up. You got mad instead of letting God guide your words.

It wasn’t even 48 hours ago. Everything you had looked forward to for so long… now here you are. Son of a bitch those Friday nights are back.

She says it’s for the best. Sitting in front of the TV. Wasting your life alone rather than sharing it. There’s no way in hell this is for the best.

This is purgatory.

All the things you’d saved to do with her. You thought you would have more time.

damn you for giving her your word you’d keep sober.

It took years for her to get out of that prison and mere hours to get out of your paradise.

God has a plan. Just fucking listen to Him next time. And pray maybe one day there might somehow be a next time.

You’d live anywhere with her in a few years when you were able. Anywhere. Your paradise is a prison if you don’t have someone and she’s the only woman. The only one. She’s just the only one.

Please just don’t let this be the end.