Distance

Please don’t be upset at me.

You were right about us needing distance. I care about you and want nothing more than for you to be happy. Have the kind of happiness I wanted to give you. Breathe freely from anxiety, pain, anger, and fear.

My emotions are chaotic. They will be for a while, though I am dedicated to changing my life in all manner of positive ways; physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally.

I have been blessed with happiness for 45 years, but time between December 6, 2021 and Match 16, 2022 was literally the happiest time of my entire life. I was building something with the woman I truly loved. And everything I had I wanted to be yours; most of all, my future. Full commitment.

Still no regrets for any of that. Just the chance alone to build a future with a woman like you was worth far more pain than I’m going through now. I never want you to forget that – not for my sake…

I want you to know your worth. To know you can be happy… and there is no excuse for you not to be. To know that you don’t have to be a slave to resignation, anger, ennui, or anything else that might plague you. I could not fall in love with someone that wasn’t meant to shine as vibrantly as the stars you grew up watching.

That kind of happiness; that kind of Vibrance… isn’t something we deserve. It’s something we can have, if we choose to. God gave us all the parts to build our lives into. It’s up to us to decide what we build. We can embrace vibrance and build a Ferrari, or embrace resignation and get by with a Ford.

You and I need distance. But only distance. I ask that you not sever. And I promise I won’t.

Remember the Truth, my beautiful and beloved Nif. There is so much Truth. One piece of it is that I still (literally) dream of you constantly. Until that changes, you’re right. We need distance. Another truth is that you will always be sacred to me.

A third Truth is that I wanted this to be short, so I will leave things here. You will never be ‘just a friend’ to me. Forgive me for anything I’ve said to make things difficult for you. I have never wanted to do anything but encourage your Vibrance.

Love always,

Regs