Dreyma

Lately you’ve been having some. But you don’t remember much. Common themes and elements. Almost just feels like you’ve thought about something recently even though you don’t really remember it. Probably just sleeping on the couch listening to Dreyma Music you have recently discovered. There’s no order, so you will attempt to frame a common theme as best you can.

A feeling of age, yet youth. A beautiful world where the sky is as your imagination can make it. Warmth, until you’re in the mood for a calming breeze. Endless fields of hills, verdant, tall grass. Clouds of orange hues. Sky like a painting of morning in a world seemingly out of Tolkien. Beautiful. Indescribably, infinitely beautiful. And empty.

You are young. Maybe 19. But there are no worries, no fears. you’re pretty new here. And yet you’ve been here forever.

In this vast beautiful wilderness, you feel familiarity. Peace. Love. You can’t put your finger on what it is.

A couple of people your age are nearby. You either just realized it or they approached. You know them. A guy and a girl, roughly the same age you appear to be. Maybe that two you dreamed about long ago as a kid with you playing games in the world between what will be and what is, just waiting. But it might be two other people.

You play. Run around the fields. Your house is nearby. At the top of the hill. In the midst of the valley. You’re not sure where to put it. You just know it’s here somewhere. Well you’re not sure if it’s yours but it… is.

You’re thankful to see other people. In this infinite beauty, there’s this sense of loss. Where is everyone?

You’re capable of wondering. You’re capable of loneliness. You’re still new here though. You hear a baby’s laugh on the wind. The breeze is warm, cool, crisp and soothing. The laughter echoes for a few seconds. Nothing seems to happen but so much… feels like it does. You bathe in the light of the warmth. Comforted in every way you can imagine. Perfect health. Forever young. And yet… so empty.

Must’ve been from a different night only a fleeting thought in a fleeting dream. Maybe a small town. Not that many people. Very sparse. In this place what might be a rural town of only maybe 200 people. Big enough to have a gas station. That size. Maybe a dozen people you see. People. There’s so much more here though. Almost like the grass and trees… like each one of them listens, smiles, and embraces. But you can’t realize that yet. That’s after the fact trying to piece it together. Still you see maybe a dozen people. Like they’re having a parade. OK maybe there are a few more. Came out of their houses. Near town Square. Parade is only a few cars. Everyone here is like you – young. Vibrant. Carefree. But physical descriptions just could never describe anyone. The two others you started out with you think are here but you’re not sure. No one‘s in a hurry but you. Slow down. You realize how old these people are. And they all seem young. So much familiarity but you don’t actually know anyone here.

All of this seemed so brief. Like you spent the day in a moment. And still so empty. The people know how you feel. They smile. Feel the comfort that surrounds you in this place. It helps.

Why is it so empty? Maybe you’re simply on a tour like the protagonist in The Great Divorce. In Heaven we wouldn’t have eyes to see. Ears to hear. Lungs to breathe. Houses to own. Most of all though we would not know unhappiness. Even how to be unhappy. Where is Saint Peter at the gate? Where is Jesus with a warm embrace? Where is God on His throne of light?

Is this only what your imagination can conjure? If so what is the emptiness? How can there be any? Is this because you were good enough to go to Heaven, but somehow can still know emptiness?

Is it sadness? No. It’s just that feeling of emptiness all around you.

There was a movie a few years ago where the protagonists were a mother and two children living in an old house. They kept having mysterious encounters with people they could barely perceive and then one day it dawned on them that they were ghosts. And the terrifying ordeal finally came to an end when the family interested in buying the home they died in chose not to. And so the woman and the two children huddled together at the end, not knowing where to go or what to do, merely staying in the house, saying together “This house is ours. This house is ours.”

it’s like that but on the other end of the spectrum. The emptiness may be the feeling of all that you are leaving behind. What would there be to worry about like we worry about everything here? A soul freed from a body. How would it hear and see for the first time? How would it perceive the world around it? Especially if that world is as fantastical as what the imagination can conjure when it comes to Heaven… which you could even feel was merely your own consciousness trying to process what cannot be processed.

Are you close to death? Hope not. There’s a lot of things you need to get right with first.

So many Christians call themselves saved. It’s something you’ve always wanted to be able to feel but something held you back. Almost like a desire to not bank on that and keep working towards being Saved. Which… you didn’t really do that either. Part of you is really worried. But salvation doesn’t come from works. It comes from the sacrifice of Jesus. It feels cold where you are. You need to get warm again. And you’re trying so why isn’t everything happening?

You don’t know what to make of anything. You really hope everything is just your subconscious mind hearing beautiful ethereal music in the background as you slept and painting you a picture to dream to.

Maybe it’s just empty because it’s so vast in your mind. Maybe it’s because you can only see a couple things in the world that can’t even be seen with eyes.

Updating the will isn’t a bad idea. You have no reason to assume you’re going anywhere anytime soon but no one ever does.

But if you do make it to Heaven… don’t bring this crap there. 😂 You need no burdens. Get closer to God. It’s cold out here. You don’t feel that energetic push. Find it. And in the grand scheme, it’s not going to be long. Based on averages, 34 years? It’s going to fly by… assuming you get anywhere close to that long.

This music is so good. Maybe you can visit again tonight.