Again?

Thank you for another beautiful stormy night. We finished the Book of John tonight with a fine cigar and a couple of fans. Garage is nice. Rain is good. I’d love to have a storm like this every night.

I’m sorry about the gym tonight. Forgot my shoes and didn’t feel like going back out. Had the energy to. Didn’t. I know. I went last night but it was a light night. Friday nights are so tough. No excuses though.

So many questions. Marked them in purple. Will have to research. Not counting the time, so you’re getting more than an hour. No need to thank me. 😂 Lol I’m so screwed if You have no sense of humor.

I want you to stop punishing me for my sins. That’s a mission statement; not a request; don’t worry. I need to sin less.

Jesus lived a human life without sin. It’s possible. And yet…for us? What does that mean? Yeah yeah… purple highlights for the questions. Like why was Pilate seen as a villain? He tried to save Jesus, but not hard enough? Wouldn’t that mean keeping Him from dying so we could be forgiven?

Whatever. Don’t care. It’s the nitpick details that don’t ultimately matter that hamstring us usually.

Getting closer to You means doing what I can to sin less. Not at all if this broken fool can, bit the miracle is in the Salvation – not accomplishing what can’t be accomplished.

The other night I stood it all upside down, and ironically it worked. It’s not perfect, but “if that’s what helps you” can often be a crutch when we need it to be. I know this from that day in 2000 when I thought I could make a deal with you.

What would piss off the devil? The one ultimately responsible for all the wrongs in our existence? Why hold anger at You when he’s the one that caused the problems? Why hold anger at others beset with that evil?

How can I piss off that jackass? And the words flowed far easier than I could have ever imagined.

Lord, please grant your blessings to those who have hurt me. Please continue to hold Crow in your arms. If my love for her had not been so deep, my anger at her for her decisions wouldn’t be nearly as deep either. Please be with her Frog. Give him the wisdom to be the kind of man who would choose to find You. To want to be a good steward of your word in her life. To help her fight her battles with You by her side. Give her the strength to call upon You in her battles. Lead them both to happiness in Your service. Please bless them both as you have blessed me, and may they both find truth, long life, good health, and happiness.

I don’t mean these words on my own. I can feel it. But as I pray for your grace, they flow like a River, and I know they are true. The way I’m supposed to feel.

On my own? No. You know what’s in my heart when You aren’t with me when it comes to anything regarding that situation. That’s why I know I’m wrong, and you’re right.

Forgive me for my anger. My flaws. Draw me closer to You. It’s going to be a while before I can purge it. But as with Flame so long ago, I will. Thanks to You.

May we all meet in Heaven with all of your children, and forgive me for when I forget it.

Storm’s gone. I’m sleepy. Please don’t let me dream tonight. Please give me a good night’s rest. I have a lot to catch up on at the gym. Among other things.

Thank you for tonight. It wasn’t so bad…

For a Friday night.