Con

Option 1: Don’t go. Realize you won’t be able to go without constantly thinking about her. Hating the fact that you’re there alone… Yet… Again… after allowing yourself to mentally transition to a world where you had finally gotten past that bachelor life because you had finally found the one that you were meant to be with, making every painful year after year of loneliness worth it.

Realizing you still really didn’t have the money yet and feeling insecure about spending what you know you didn’t have. You would soon, but not really in enough time. Which only means you’d have to be irresponsible and put it on cards you’d be able to pay down by the end of the year.

The weirdest thing. You could tell she deep down probably wouldn’t want to go. That’s when your mind started changing on it and you didn’t even want to go yourself. If it wasn’t something you could do together, it held no interest. That lasted even after she did.

Option 2: Go. Just go. Have a good time. As much of a good time as you can. See some of those old friends again. Get a host hotel room. There’s cheaper options already available, but that’s the way to go. Where you’re there in the middle of it like you’re supposed to be.

You haven’t been to Con since the overly eventful 2019; the first year you went to her. Basically gave her your love for the first time for the first rejection before giving her a chance to reject you on a scale you had never even comprehended it.

In your mind she’s been linked to Con for so long. It was on the way to one of them you found out she got divorced and you let your mind soar thinking of her. Kept texting her all the way and never stopped. Every one since you texted her constantly, dreaming of taking her one day.

Whatever, you just need to have a good time. If you can get a host hotel room, just freaking go. Have a good time. You’re not gonna say you deserve it, but what else would you do? Feel the same way sitting around the house here for a weekend?

Best room ever 2019

Screw it. Option 2. You can pay stuff off. Bonus from work covering the room; be grateful you work with a good friend. People wanting to do kind things for you doesn’t need to be something you feel self-conscious of. Be grateful, continue to do the same for others, and always… pay it forward.

Might be the last one you feel like going to. Might make you want to go back yearly again. A bit less likely. Whatever, just go.

See the old friends again. See Shatner. Cast of Locke and Key. Dance all night. Metro Cafe at 5am with strangers talking about the closest you’ve each been to death. Hideaway cigar lounge speakeasy. Play board games with good friends when the body gets tired. Celebrate the opening weekend of college football season.

A whole year of partying in your 20s condensed into 4 days. Each year that passes is less of a big deal, but for at least one more just go have fing fun… 😃

Complex level of enjoyment with the Magnetic Fields. Such amazing sound. AMAZING. Lol most of their songs with Lyrics that piss you off. Perfect for ‘screw it moods’ when you feel like dipping into that snide mood you hide from others as best you can lolz. Definitely worth its own topic though. Later. Wade through it for now; have to buy a new suitcase. American Tourister brand this time. It was cheaper then but you bought Swiss Gear for her so she didn’t have to see “American”.

It could always be worse.🧐

For you, it’s just a frame of mind; not a state of being. Go have a good weekend.

Never forget to be grateful for all the blessings you have. May God keep putting good people in your life to share them with. Now let’s change the mood.