that you’re a bit dented when it comes to positivity. It’s gonna be really up and down for a little while.
Worst night of the week every week. One week after losing the “familiar”. A dear friend sent a consolation gift. You know just where it goes.
A whole week. It doesn’t seem that long because of all of the concerns regarding work. Moving the store to your house isn’t what you want, but the current path is probably just not working. Lots of work coming up and various ways you could go about it. A whole lot of decisions are going to need to be made even including whether or not it’s best to just find something else for the time being and help in your spare time.
Now is really not the best time to ask for more money, but honestly, you’re really kind of sick of being where you are, and you need to level up if you’re gonna start dating again.
Question is what direction that entails. Figures the freaking government would make everything more difficult to operate a nonprofit to help people, than a business. You understand why for obvious reasons, but that doesn’t help much right now.
What would help? What would help would be the last year being a bad dream. What you would give for it to be December 2021 again. If anyone asks you what you want for Christmas, it’s to wake up with the woman you were born to love in your arms, infinite hope on the horizon at work, your folks healthier and in less pain, and your furry little BroCat by your side.
But here you are. And because it’s you, you’re literally bored of being sad. A dear friend’s gift in memory of Dabillbill will decorate one of your windows until you no longer own this house, via sale or death.
Now another log.
That’s the weird thing about it all. There’s literally no reason you need to be positive tonight. None. Every concern you have had has gotten worse. Your family’s health. The company you’ve been working to build. The pain of loss. The feeling of loneliness every Friday night you hate.
And yet here you are listening to a song about inspiration and creativity.
And it’s okay that it’s Enya. At 45 you decided to check all of the stuff and it turns out despite your fears, your T count was actually abnormally high. You weren’t really expecting that considering how all the commercials made it out to be. But whatever. Enya it is, because it’s beautiful music and upbeat, and you have nothing to prove… lolz…
And honestly, you’re just bored and tired of being hurt and sad.
The truth of the matter is… The little guy was a gift from God when you really needed it. And now God has made the emphatic statement that you don’t need him anymore.
Two kinds of cancer, distended stomach, and damage to lymph nodes? All that? Yeah, you weren’t supposed to try to move heaven and earth to keep him. It was time for him to go home so plainly, and obviously even you could understand. If God gives you a gift when you really need it… and takes it away? There’s only one logical conclusion. Someone else needs him more.
Ted is acting a little different. It’s one of those things you wouldn’t be able to understand without remembering the North Carolina Fan. What has been lost has only made its mark on you.
There’s so much more. Just so much more.
But you have exceeded your ability to hurt this week. So enjoy the fire. Enjoy who you really are deep down. Enjoy the fact that you just are not going to hurt at a certain point no matter how much you miss a year ago this week.
At least on this Friday night.
it is absolutely mind boggling to you that people can’t understand just what having Jesus in your heart fortifies you against.
Sure, your problems are nothing compared to some others out there. But pain is pain and all things are relative. What is another person’s pain compared to the pain of someone watching their child starve in Sudan? Nothing.
So don’t beat yourself up over crying about missing your BroCat. Pain is pain and screw anyone who doesn’t get it.
And then take Caribbean Blue at 1:56 to feel warmth at the love in your heart that has been reinforced by the Creator of Heaven and Earth.
Hey, you get to be afraid tomorrow. That means you don’t have to be afraid tonight. Enjoy the warmth. Enjoy the fire. Feel free to miss December 2021. You will for a few weeks, and that’s okay.
God has made you the man that you are. And he has made you this way for a reason. It sure isn’t the reason you thought it would be a year ago.
And you still have absolutely no idea what I you are meant for.
But enough. Just… enough.
Be grateful for all the blessings you have been given. Make sure Ted knows how loved she is. Enjoy the music and the fire tonight. And know that with God in your corner, literally there is no need for fear.
Absolutely.
No.
Need.
🥹🕊🐈🙏
It’s Not a Frame of Mind 