You don’t understand…

So many things…

That don’t matter right now…

That sarcastic asshole in you… the one that vanished when she was around? She barely met him.

The Holy Sprit kept him at bay when she was around. Was the weirdest feeling.

Those kind of feelings just… evaporated around her. When you were around her, she calmed you. Her presence almost always quelled any anger you held towards her.

Nervousness and being in love explained some of it. But not all. Even today… you can’t be mad. Can’t find any satisfaction in her situation. None. You hurt for her.

In retrospect… it’s what you prayed for, long ago. When you needed resolve in front of her, it was the Holy Sprit that filled you. Even she felt it protecting you when she handed back the class ring.

And here… now… it’s almost like she’d fished for that bastard. She knows you well enough to know he’s in there, and could give her one living hell of an intervention.

No. Period. (Somehow) And you can’t explain how… other than Him. Maybe if you were meant to have a different role in her life? Who knows.

Not gonna lie. This freaking woman. Spiritually you’re chained to her in ways you’ve never been comfortable with, but still felt so naturally…

She doesn’t need an ‘intervention’ from you.

You’ve actually thought that in the past, but no… that was always your own anger. Probably why He did such a good job hemming all that in.

So what does she need?

From you? Prayer. Nothing more.

Otherwise? To learn from her mistakes. To add those scars to her soul and be the stronger for it. To carry lessons forward into whatever the next part of her life will be, learn from them and grow even stronger.

That strength. That power. That passion. In her – it exists for a reason – one you can’t explain. It was meant for so much more than the trouble it’s caused her.

That Sunday. In November 2021. In Albion. The only time you ever sang with her in God’s house…

You hate that you can’t remember for certain… but you swear up and down this is what you sang along with her and her mother.

Every time you hear it… it just reminds you of that morning.

Typical self-centered only child… making it about you. 😔

Well… yeah… it’s one of your flaws. And that’s okay – if you’re aware of it so you can work to overcome it.

It’s okay.

It’s all okay.

Listen to Him. HIM. Not what you want Him to say…

Him.

You listened to ‘Him’ say some things were ‘meant to be’. How much of that was “Him” with a “you” accent? Turns out… yeah. A lot of it.

We so easily turn to “Him” and somehow hear what *we* want to hear.

It can’t be that way anymore.

Because it’s time.

Time to Be More.

For all of us.

To grow.

In His Purpose.

Macanudo tomorrow night.

Then Accounts Receivable Monday. Books and books. Activity. Jogging. Getting out there.

FIGHTING. FOR ALL THAT ACTUALLY, REALLY MATTERS.

Demons of Your Laziness. Her Self-Destruction. Your Complacency. Her Narcissism. And ANYTHING ELSE NEEDED TO COVER EVERY BASE…

To Hell with them ALL.

Lord – OPEN THE DOOR TO YOUR WILL IN OUR LIVES. YOURS.

For YOUR purposes.

THANK HIM for her presence in your life, because it has brought you closer to Him.

Lord:

Help her find You. Truly find You. If You can use me, please bless my words. If they do get in Your way, break my fingers so they can’t hurt.

Please forgive my sins. Thank you for my blessings and my trials. Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for so many things… I could never even keep track…

And thanks for the cats.🙏