Death

Sometimes ADD is just a strange companion. Who knows… maybe it was from a half-remembered dream…

Part of you hears this and subconsciously imagined it to be a part of some action movie…

You’re driving a giant 18-wheel truck as fast as it can go… Lol yeah… 😂

It’s on fire. Because of course it is.

Whatever is in the trailer is something you have to get away from those you love. Probably a bomb.

You’re on a long bridge all alone, perhaps the brige connecting Key West to Florida, or the Chesapeake bridge before the tunnel. Late afternoon. The sun setting on all you know in this life.

You’re on a road knowing you’re getting it away from those you love. You have 4 minutes. It takes 35 seconds to get this on the speakers.

Loud as it can go. Tinnitus is a problem for those who will still be around in 5 minutes.

You sing each voice. Well, do each each impression. You’re proudest of Orbison, because he doesn’t hit that high note he does in Pretty Woman and you can actually go with it.

No idea why. You’re a non-beta man in the West born in the 70’s, so casual fantasies of you saving the day like you were in an action movie are literally programmed into you from early on.

No beating yourself up. You’re not gonna feel bad for not having the guts to sacrifice yourself for something in your life. There hasn’t been that calling. Sure you have regrets for the past, but, as soon as you do…

Tapestry 😂

You like who you are. Sure, you could be better. Really wish you were – far more often than not.

But holy crap… you could be worse…

…in a thousand different ways.

Is that weird? Nah.

What’s weird was this song coming on the playlist in the car with a funeral friend (…as in one of you will be at the other’s one day…), he told you it made him think of driving a massive truck away from people on a long bridge to save them all from an explosion.

You smiled and agreed, saying nothing. He wouldn’t have believed you. 😂

Lolz… might have been in some movie a long time ago. Had to have been.

What does it mean? Jack squat nothing – Other than JR was a funeral friend. You have a bunch. Good people you’re blessed to know and care about….

Living well. Love. Fellowship. Goodness. Camaraderie. (Sigh) really cheesy dad jokes…

Well, it’s alright.

Even when push comes to shove.

Well, it’s alright.

If you’ve got someone to love.

Well, it’s alright.

Everything will work out fine.

Well, it’s alright.

We’re going to the end of the line.

This song… stuck in your head the day of Grandmama’s funeral… such a happy life. Joyous. You can’t imagine that woman without a smile on her face.

Why wouldn’t she be happy? She ate dirt in the Great Depression in the poverty-stricken rural South Carolina pastures and worked her ass off to be the first college grad of her family and spent a lifetime teaching future generations with a song in her heart.

Piece of shit alcoholic husband beat her until dad at 17 chased him out of the house. Son of a bitch remarried and roared the engine past her house with his new wife afterwards.

As if she prolly thought anything besides… “that poor woman…”

That one didn’t last either.

Sigh. Ask for forgiveness, Atreyu. “Honor thy father and thy mother”… yeah. That applies to him too. He died before you were born. How would you have interacted with him?

Well… you never would have. No matter what. No chance Dad would have brought you around him. If somehow he survived until you were over 18, how would you have you approached him?

Like a hero, that’s how. It’s all in your mind, so why not? Like the guy driving the tractor trailer over the bridge.

Fuck your demons, old man. Now get in – we’re saving our loved ones, and your literally broken schizo ass is being dragged into the light if we both have to have five shots of whiskey each. Turn into that angry son of a bitch all you want, see if it matters. 😂

You know who YOU are when the fruits of inhibition hits. Happy. Joyous. Prolly annoyingly giddy and loving this life because it’s the blessed life that He gave you, and you are forever grateful. It’s who you are when all is stripped away and there’s nothing but who you are deep down.

Which requires a bit of willpower because that’s not great for the liver. 😂

Nah. It’s alright.

Even if the sun don’t shine.

Well, it’s all right.

We’re going to the end of the line.

Probably not driving a big rig carrying a bomb.

But please, Lord…

Please…

If somehow that happens… let there be amazing sound and the right phone cable. 😂

Death needs to be LOUD!

At least loud enough to hear over your laughing.

Would be nice. At this rate, you’ll be dying alone, husk of who you might have been in a middle-class nursing home.…

…but laughing. 😂

Until the last moment. And then…

The song you (so far) wanted to hear as you died, as the last neurons in your brain processed the last sounds your ears hear in this life.

This world.

This Crib.

So come on all ya losers, ya bastards, ya cheats!

Vagrants and barflies down on the streets!

The path to salvation, to vindication awaits!

We’re marching on these Broadway streets tonight!

Here’s hoping by the time you leave this crib, you’ve leveled up, and deserve an actual hymn by getting closer to Him, as you always need to…

Pretty good place to start. 👊😂

*Lord, please be with all those I love and care about.*

*Give them confidence when they feel weak.*

*Give them strength when theirs fails.*

*Give them grace to stand back up when they fall.*

*Most of all… Give them Your Wisdom to find their way Home.*

*And please pick me up when I fall so I’m there that day too.*

Amen.🙏