Fuck you.

You owe Him more.

I love you, Lord.

I thank You for so many blessings.

For the best family anyone could ask for.

For the most amazing friends one could ever know.

For the place and time You have placed me.

For the opportunities You have given me.

I literally walk through hundreds of those across Con dance floor goers, raves, bars, and the like – so many who couldn’t care less about You… some who likely have contempt for You, and it is my honor to pray for them.

Tired of this. So tired. I want to be asleep with my wife at 10. My children sleeping comfortably and n the next rooms over.

The life I don’t have…. for reasons that couldn’t matter less. I’m here. Now. And I want to pray for the well being of those here tonight. All of them. Every last one.

Whether by Your will or my failings, here I am. Either way, blessed with the opportunity to pray for those who need You.

Thank You for the opportunities you have given me. Please forgive my sins. Please hold Z and his wife in Your arms. Fill them with Your love. Heal their marriage. Bless it, as I’d ask you to bless mine.

Here, where there is so much rebellion against You, I ask the most intercession.

Lol maybe it’s all the alcohol. It’s definitely shaped my thoughts here…

I hate that alcohol brings me closer to You. That means sobriety carries inhibitions I have towards You. That’s ridiculous. Please help me resolve that absurdity.

I ask only one thing for myself tonight.

Please let my finest hour in this world to be in my future, and not my past… and that it serves Your will.

In Your name… Amen.

Forgive me, Lord. Have to ask tho –

Are you funking kidding me?

What a Con! 👊😂

Oh no!

Well…. guess it’s not for everyone… 😂

Warming Up 😂

There is some humor you simply could never explain. A lot of it even seems out of character for you. But surprise surprise, you’re actually not a stereotype.

Does Con mean it’s the time of year for The Magnetic Fields? Eh, maybe not anymore. Last year was last year, and ended up being the best Con to date.

Sometimes the Magnetic Fields are whimsical and crazy, and others somber, bearing pain, and putting right into the soul with lyrics edging the border of crude, and sometimes crossing it.

And then there’s stuff like this. Something only you’re going to get the humor to.😂

This Con’s gonna be great.

The lyrics are so messed up… but the sound is so amazing… but the lyrics… messed up but hysterical… 😂

BUT THAT SOUND!!!

Whatever. Another extra grand from your own hard work coming down the pipe. Bringing someone new that might go somewhere. Might not. Who knows?

You know what?

Ask Him to cover you.

It’s just a good idea. 🤔

This life is meaningless compared to the one to come. So laugh at the messed up lyrics. At all the cray at Con. Cut loose and have a blast.😃

And always be grateful.

For so many things.

Like being able to laugh at the song. 😂

Hurry up and wait.

Hurry up and wait.

Hurry up and wait.

Seems so busy… and then not.

Texas never did happen again, but world class people you work with saw to it to give you a great bonus anyway for past help and loyalty.

So grateful to work with good people.

Will be working with more, hopefully soon when chaos dies down enough to have you look at doing some bookkeeping for them.

Other than that same holding pattern. Dad’s surgery is done. And mom are getting to be in worse shape overall, but hopefully will be better off for a little while when all of these latest medical issues calm down.

Slowly establishing your own route for booking. Had a spare hour today and found 37. Picked up groceries for Con. Possible date this weekend.

Definitely need to clean up the house. Just have books everywhere. Organization is definitely needed.😂 and get the guest bedroom cleaned up from cat sitting Sam while the folks were in the hospital.

Bill hasn’t even been gone a whole year, and it is amazing how quickly Ted has become fiercely territorial at anything else with four legs, lolz. Wow… poor Sam. Almost twice her size, but she absolutely terrorized him. 😂

Rediscovered how amazing bananas are for snacks. Feeling better with more energy in general. Gym is definitely helping with that, but you really need to establish more consistency.

That goes double for the Bible and church. Still hovering in 1 Corinthians with Paul and his annoying opinions. Just glad it says they are his opinions and not necessarily God’s.😂

Three more days before the first kickoff of college football season. Notre Dame and Navy playing in Ireland. Maybe next year they’ll play on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

Just more hurrying up and waiting. They say patience is a virtue.

Meh.

Could always be worse though. 😊

People with so many opinions… yeah, including you…

The response you need to use more often…

Better for the blood pressure anyway. 😂

A weekend you’re enjoying doing something productive.

Things finally might be taking off on the freelance side. If you can get another Texas gig, that’s three streams. And just going out more makes the store sizzle. Enjoy yourself tonight.

Lots of work on brushing up on software tomorrow.

Yeah, you’re a dinosaur, but you can learn new tricks.

Bald peanuts night.😃

Well, if you were into that stuff and felt like going somewhere, tonight would be the night.

Haven’t seen those friends in years. Whole fam headed home through coming back from a vacation. Three hyperactive boys, and one of your hyperactive best friends. You had a good time with them, and with another old friend from those days with her husband and kids.

Bizarre thing was you never felt like the third wheel, which is almost never the case. Didn’t necessarily feel your usual self. More like in a “too old to care” vibe. Though it is easy to be in such a zone when hyperactive teen boys are afoot. Thank goodness for the Xbox.

Been a fun three days with them visiting. But when they left, the mood stayed. Only wow was it so quiet…

YouTube recommendation threw a new iteration of the latest Earworm at you while at the market downtown. The vibe and the mood merged with the quiet and there you were.

YouTube algorithm brought up Patton soundtrack. Dad’s favorite movie… odd because you’d thought about it earlier today. How it starts. Distant horn, like one that could have echoed across centuries, from Jericho to Verdun; followed by a simple circa 70s era organ like any you’d heard in a country church growing up. It came on as you booted up a game of blowing up ships to wind down after they’d left.

Maybe those thoughts came about from some of the conversation your friend was having about his gaming campaign. Y’all talked about old characters; imaginary heroes that in reality are nothing more than representation of creativity and having fun hanging out with wonderful people.

Almost always pick Warspite. Picked Hood. Patton music was on. Beautiful render of the old battlecruiser. Swift and fierce. Long and painted as she was her final day. Led to something small. A feeling that flowed into the vibe and mood you’d already established. The horn. The simple church organ. Just an echo. No way to describe it. A level of familiarity you couldn’t really have. Thoughts of Crow were not far behind. Prayed for her. For Him to sooth her anger and calm any fear. To guide her Home. Probably not needed tonight, but still.

Then, like a moment of Déjà vu, it was gone. Just the score from a great movie from 1970 again. Algorithm went somewhere forgettable for a few minutes and back to yet another Golden Brown cover with even more harpsichord. That’s four of those songs that all sound amazing. But that vibe/mood returned, along with really not giving much of a care in the world. And again, there you were.

Weird mood. Very vulnerable one. You’d try something tonight. Cocaine. Heroin. LSD. Just to see where you’d go. Guitars and harpsichord of this song and its incarnations make you want to wonder and wander. But as your imagination takes flight, the couch seems more crowded. Ted can come out without fear, and she’s by your side just as her brother would have been. Rum and music will be enough, lolz

Feeling of quiet after a whirlwind of hanging out with old friends led to a feeling of quiet and loneliness. Then almost to spite that feeling, looking up and telling Him tonight would be a good night to hang out.

So much warmth.

Prayer and Patton’s church organ. It almost felt like that vibe may not have been merging with the mood, but… maybe countering it? Who knows.

Taken alone, it was a stoic feeling of whatever is between confidence and pride. You really like… whoever you are. It’s like even when you feel down, something inside you just refuses to tolerate it.

From the things the folks are going through to get ready to move…

From five years after Hood sank, but completely unrelated. Dad and Grandmama. She was 26. Those smiles. Wow, look at those smiles…

That’s where you come from. So few worries compared to so many other people. So easy to lose sight of it. Take it for granted. Until you actually just stop and think about the Joy behind it.

It’s not like you’re in any danger of trying to get a hold of some drugs or shrooms, but all of that fades away so fast when remember the joy and the warmth fills your heart.

Tonight‘s a great night for 1st Corinthians. Seems He’s looking forward to it too. 😂