Spent the night and most of the weekend with a really nice girl. Smart, funny, attractive. Now it’s Monday, and plagued by a tinge of sadness. Not just because it’s Monday. You don’t know why. And you really don’t want to ask.

Just go to work.

Bright mundane lights on a dreary Monday morning.

Absent my best ally in the trenches and with mounting frustration at what is.

It could always – and has been – far worse, but maybe it’s finally time for you to move past all that.

Life is too short to wait for hope to get its act together. You’ve learned that if you want most things in life, you have to reach out and pursue them.

Happiness has no inertia to come and find you. Action is the order of the day.

That’s the difference between Hope being a curse that enslaves one to fantasy and Hope being what can keep you going when nothing else will – action.

Fear keeps you from moving forward. Fear of the headaches. The panic attacks. The rejection. The uncertainty you have the needed skills. Of having to start over again.

Things are going better; why rock the boat, right? Maybe happiness will make its rounds and run into you again…

No. Not good enough anymore.

You know you need to start being more decisive. Happiness is always moving. You used to be happy when you were a kid when you got a new toy. That won’t cut it these days.

It’s a moving target, and stagnation and fear will chip away at it. The only thing that remains in the long run to keep you happy is love, because love grows along with you, unless you let it get stale.

That’s one of the reasons you need to get in touch with your inner Crow. You fall victim to stagnation so easily.

Something’s got to give here. You’ve got to build something. Do something. You’re entering data. Sending invoices. Pulling inventory.

Make them give you a challenge.

Anger keeps pushing, but you seem to have it contained for now. You’re dancing with depression again; dynamism just isn’t there. Nothing’s helping. Just shut up, do your thing, and be thankful.

Health. Work life. Love life. Social life. Spiritual life. All in the doldrums right now. All in holding patterns. All stuck and frustrated wondering what to do next. All filled with concern, if not fear.

Again… Dammit…

One of the reasons you notice vicious cycles so quickly is because of how vulnerable you are to them yourself. And the way out is always the same.

Mix it up. Think outside the box. Approach things from a different perspective. Take some risks. Isolate what’s plaguing you and get rid of it.

Ennui’s a dick. Feeling young again always pisses it off… and you really love pissing it off… 😊

Every time I meet a nice girl and it might lead somewhere if the universe would just cooperate…

🤣🤣🤣 Gotta learn to laugh… 🤣🤣🤣

 This tune…

You’ll never forget it. February, 2006. One of the darkest moments of your life. Your arrogance had finally caught up with you, and you knew it. You were too good to apply for the jobs that you really ought to have been focusing on. You’d been ballooning your debt to pay a ridiculous amount of money for a stupid apartment that you thought you deserved.

Oh you had it coming all right. You were about to lose your home. Not a house, just an apartment… but with the kind of debt you had compiled, and new government regulations from the Comptroller of the Currency – some bureaucratic agency you’d never even heard of – you had to learn your lesson.

You cried, feeling like you were a failure. Knowing it. You were supposed to be the one that overcame problems like this. You were supposed to be the one that people looked up to.

But not anymore. Now you would be the guy living on his parents couch at age 30. Yeah… you of all people…

That $1000 a month apartment you thought you could somehow afford on your beloved Queen Street… yeah the house of cards came tumbling down. You had lost everything and had finished packing….

…Ready to leave your beloved Holy City with your tail between your legs.

You had packed all night. But there was no way you were going to sleep. And sure as hell no way you would sleep now. So you did what you always did when you had insomnia… you walk to the streets of downtown Charleston….

…And wound up staring tearfully out to sea at Waterfront Park.

You thought you had had a charmed existence; like thanks to lessons you had learned you were done learning lessons. Now you would be humiliated by your standards…

…and your tears rained down.

Until you saw them. Something you knew that swam around in the harbor From time to time that you had only seen once or twice.

A pair of dolphins. The good luck charm of the sea. Of home.

And in that moment, the tears stopped. The dread didn’t. The pain didn’t. But the tears did.

You knew that you were going to be fine. You didn’t know how, when, or why. But you knew you would be fine.

In that moment you’d learned the lesson that God was teaching you, and exile from home… wasn’t a death sentence…

…but a second chance…

There was peace in your heart. Peace that has not since departed you even now over 13 years later.

What you would give to be able to share that peace with those so dear to you…

So do it.

Be that peace in their lives. Find joy in your heart so rich and full that you fill them with it as the sight of those dolphins filled you with it.

Joy. Peace. In the face of uncertain futures and seemingly insurmountable odds. You had to find them to learn your lesson.

And when you need to remember…  just listen to the tune…  and go straight back to February 2006,  Waterfront Park,  and those blessed dolphins.

 Never, ever let them go. I mean that would just be really stupid…lolz 😂

 

 

 

 

The only time. If a good man cares, This is when it’s alright to lie. When someone he cares about more than anything else needs to hear that the glass is half full.

The only time to lie… is when is it isn’t a lie…

Because he will suffer for her. Happily. Endure for her. Fight any foe. Shoulder any burden. Suffer any sling or arrow.

Because he loves her. Or him. Or them. Or whatever his family is. 

Because he will do anything for his family. To keep them safe. To help them find happiness. To be with them when they need help.

It’s never a lie when you mean it.

And a good man… means it. And always will.

Hold her in your arms, Lord. Every second I can’t hold her in mine.

 She is sacred to me,  and always will be.

I will follow the rules Wisdom has given me… but this new heart…That I have built with Your help?

It works. 🙂

Eternal thanks… now hold her in your arms…

Hold her in your arms…

Please just hold her in your arms…

 

Guilty 🤔