Another two weeks in Texas. Late but direct flight so no leaving the house at 4:30am with a confused cat. At least this time she’ll know you are coming back while she’s at the cattery.

Don’t want to go this time, but it’s not bothering you. If it’s like Nebraska it’ll hit you hard; like three weeks ago it won’t be too painful. Do two weeks and head home. Gets less monumental every trip. Just glad for the opportunity.

It’s Gawjuss season back home still. Warm but somewhat mild Spring. Only rough weather lately is out here in central time zone. If good weather holds after you’re back, Folly on a cloudless night with a cigar after 2 heavy weeks of working would feel amazing.

Folks had their 50th anniversary. Telling the same stories. Still laughing at them. They’ve come so far since then in ways you’re only now starting to appreciate at your own age. Never spent an anniversary with you; they always went out of town. Mom’s surgery saw to that though. Could always be worse. Will be someday.

Familiar grass grids from the sky. Diagonal lines cut through woods for power lines. Flat. Rural roads wind into obvious planned communities. Rows of standardized housing like they came right off the assembly plant. Love your country, but wow is America unconsciously obsessed with industrialized homogeneity when seen from the sky.

We love our individualism until it comes to certain things. Find a house built in the last 20 years that isn’t one of three colors, none of them vibrant. Double that for cars.

You get it; standardized products are cheaper, HOA’s exist for a reason, etc, but there’s almost certainly some stupid law that would keep a creative person from painting a mini-mural on their car for the fun of it. “Street Legal”, blah…

Everything started going downhill when they outlawed dueling and you’re tired of pretending it didn’t. Need to hit the range again when you get home. Thinking of getting a 45. The 9 mil sticks, despite you cleaning it.

Could have been a relaxing day before getting started working, but one of the guys missed his flight yesterday and someone had to go to DFW to pick him up. Figures. At least you’re staying at the place you love. Right next to the amazing restaurant with red velvet cake that’s literally literally the best you’ve ever had. Worth suffering through the next day. 😂

Another 2 weeks on the humid side of this state. You’ll live. 😊

Headed home. Probably will have to get a new phone at some point soon. Bummed. Love this one; held onto it for over 6 years now. Don’t want to give it up. Port’s finally going, and buttons occasionally have issues with text.

Amazing how different things were in 2018. Laid off by a computer by a longtime company, moved into a bad fit gig, but it was fine. The year could be split down the middle on when that happened. Second half of it wasn’t nearly as great. Made a lot of money with that company, but hated going to work every day. Good job/bad pay to Bad job/Good pay in an instant. Could be worse.

Having a job you hated going to was a good experience for you in the end. Response during that part wasn’t to accept it, but to push harder to get a place in the company you were better at and more suited to. A position you got, after remembering how Dad’s story about breaking into a career he’d wanted when feeling like he wasn’t happy.

2020 saw you leaving that place; bad fit just means bad fit sometimes. But the experience and lessons learned were what mattered.

2018 comes roaring back. Crown. Crow. Craziness. Hard to believe that was six years ago.

Hard to believe the folks will have their 50th anniversary soon. Not because they’re them; but because Time occasionally plays the part of the Roman slave saying “remember thou art mortal” too well.

When you left Texas Saturday, wow. Much better shape than in Nebraska and delta team rocked the job. Customer was considering asking for a third week and even though you missed Ted, you were down for it if needed. More is coming down the pipe, so it was fine to come home.

Doesn’t mean you didn’t feel 10 years younger. Just For Menned the beard out there as a joke; you’d still be older than most of them, but who cares. 😂 With the hat on, you looked 60 because all anyone could see was a blond* beard. Mom’s still 39*, so it’s fine.

Have to stay young though. Gym isn’t convenient on the way home anymore, and Celt is long gone as a potential gym buddy. Walking around here is good, especially at how fast you’ve always naturally walked when by yourself… but it’s getting to be the season of OFF spray when it rains, and lifting is as important as cardio – so a gym schedule is prolly for the best.

Still dry yourself, even though you’ve felt like celebrating. Just keep forgetting about it. Vodka still in the cabinet sealed. Maybe Friday night, especially if you hang out with friends after patching that up. 🤔

Turns out poor guy was venting after a frustrating weekend with the wife and took it out on you. Arguments happen with every couple, so meh. Didn’t even need to apologize after that, but he did anyway. Good man. Good friend. 

It is a tad ironic, having said all that that a trip to total wine is in the works since you haven’t made it downtown to the cigar shop. 

Won’t be able to open the garage and smoke it for the store, so citronella is in the future as well. Good old tradition finally got buried a couple of years back, thanks to the absolute love, a few dolphins, and a December Sea. It didn’t have to work out for that moment to be what dragged you away from the Cistern any more than the Experience of the bad job to be good for you in the long run.

Still… Doesn’t mean tonight’s not a good night for a cigar and a chat with Him. That was the affirmation of your Faith. The first one as an adult. It’s never going to not be special. But Time has moved on from the year 2000, and finally so have you.

Getting inventory for the store tomorrow. Picking back up one client bank reconciliations. Busy day tomorrow. Hopefully the amazing sleep cycle will hold at least for a little while. 😂

…make it worth it.

One week to go. Group’s done very well. Customer seems happy. Weekend was great for rest. Goodness knows you needed it. 

A lot of conflicting emotions this week for some bizarre reason. So much on your mind about your distant past. No idea why. Could always be worse though.

Over a month ago, one night you had a whole 375 ml bottle of whiskey in one night. Granted it was over the course of eight hours, but still. You definitely understand why alcoholics can be cranky; can’t understand how they could be alcoholics dealing with hangovers like that constantly.🤔

First thing you said the next day was “Wow. That was a lot. But I know I don’t have a problem.” Lolz…

You know what that meant… protocol. If you did have a problem, you would be the last to know.

Just like after Crow left… one month, not a drop of anything alcoholic. If it was tough… you’d have considerations to make. If not, you were fine.

First weekend… was annoying because you were bored. Vodka in the pantry stayed sealed though. Friends invited you out, one loves to drinks. Told him feel free to mix for everyone else. You had fun, stayed dry, etc. Same the next Friday.

No issues since. Even better, you’d forgotten about drinking or the dry month test. It ended a week ago. Still haven’t had anything. No interest, even bored in a tiny Texas town with very little to do outside the hotel room for 2 days.

You think you can check that box, lolz… thank God as always. Gotten past Isaiah 35, and you’re still confused as to west He wanted you to read it. Seems scary for it to have applicability in your life; destruction of nations, etc.

There’s always a reason, though. Who says it has to be immediately clear…

Met someone last night. Waitress at pizza place next door to the hotel. Really sweet. Loved talking to you and could because the dinner crowd had come and gone. Way too young for you, and probably just chatting because you were by yourself, but it was nice. Refreshing to know that silence from dating apps isn’t the real world. Got ghosted from a literal 100% match; you’d never even seen one of those before. Lol next time don’t ask what her go-to karaoke song is, even if she lists it as an interest… 😂

Ted must be dejected as anything now. Asked Him to send her brother to cheer her up. Because reasons.

Bright and early tomorrow at 5:30am central. 6:30 for you. Once more unto the breach… back brace, knee pads, and Advil all in tow… 😂

Texas. Another flat place without a drop of ocean within 500 miles.

Northeastern, not West Texas this time though. Prolly fewer tumbleweeds. A little closer to sea air, not that the lungs will notice.

Wake up at 4am airport trip again. People talking about rescue dogs in line. Glad someone’s taking care of them. Blasphemous statements about non-Carolina BBQ. Sha couldn’t come by twice a day to give Ted the meds, so poor squeaky meow girl has to be boarded. $15 a day for a play area and giving her her meds isn’t bad, but wow you feel bad; she’s never been away from you in a strange place. Ever. And for likely 2 weeks. Sigh.

It’ll be worth it. You’re down 10 lbs since Nebraska and stronger, but it’s still hardhat heavy work, and, you’re well, 47, lolz. These deployments are hell to get through. But so good for the body, mind, soul, and wallet.

Still on Isaiah. Churning through it. 32:6-8 speaks loudly about modern America, but might say something different tomorrow. One of the few downsides to live in a federal republic with universal suffrage is that everyone has a thousand opinions on how to spend money they didn’t earn, instead of focusing on just making sure they had enough for them and theirs.

Everybody wants to rule the world, and sadly social media seems to be making people entitled to force their views on others regarding how “society’s money” needs to be spent.

History tells us that fuse won’t burn for too long. Seems like it will, then five years happens in five minutes and the nature of literally everything gets shifted. Whatever comes down the pipe will soon enough though, so just keep working hard, spending less, buying bitcoin, getting in shape, and trusting Him above all, to take the wheel.

He always has His reasons for reading suggestions. 🤔

…read the comments. 🕊️🙏❤️

Mine. So how do you (I) use it?

Funny how I find myself in love with you
If I could buy my reasoning I’d pay to lose
One half won’t do
I’ve asked myself, how much do you
Commit yourself

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
It’s my life
It never ends (it never ends)

Funny how I blind myself, I never knew
If I was sometimes played upon, afraid to lose
I’d tell myself, what good do you do
Convince myself

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
It’s my life
It never ends (it never ends)

I’ve asked myself, how much do you
Commit yourself?

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends

It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends

How do I use it?

Isaiah. Bet it has a suggestion.

Dad’s reading. Going Genesis to Revelation. He happened to land on Isaiah. Right when you asked where he was. 😂

You serious, Clark?

You’re getting bombarded. Isaiah. Isaiah. Isaiah. Random Christian post on Insta. Isaiah. Raz0rfist vid. Isaiah. Random verse of the day. Isaiah.

You’d heard wives were the ones who nagged… 😂 He’a right there with them, lolz…

Have to head up tomorrow. Help move stuff around in the new house for them. Gonna bring the For Dummies NLT version.

It’s your (My) life. Don’t you forget.

It. Never. Ends. 🕊️🙏😊

He is Risen indeed!

12:30pm-ish… 47 years ago… you started whining. 😂

These days, that means you’re gonna be doing some work today.

That was funny. His sense of humor.

One of the more low points of your life. 2009. Really sucks if you have a phobia of unemployment. Working on retainer bases for the folks just so you can afford rent… saw the opportunity to return to the Holy City, which was the goal. Always have to start small after you learn bitter lessons in curing arrogance.

In your case, it was turning 30 and living under your parents roof, despite being a hotshot that got a degree and you didn’t know enough about money to realize you don’t put rent on the credit card, and no, no one cares who you are, So don’t hold out for a gig thinking you’re better than starting out of the bottom for.

Considering you started at 17 as a janitor, at a fun park And made sure you were the best darn janitor they had, one would’ve thought you’d have learned that lesson. It’s OK though, you eventually did. 🙂

Working on retainer for the folks’ galleries and selling possessions for rent… squeaking by month-to-month and learning that turkey dogs in Burrito wraps were perfect “scraping by” food. That was almost a year. Almost a year of just squeaking by. Because you couldn’t find work. Because 2009.

A friend of a friend needed 400 bucks a month to split an apartment with and you got to know him pretty well. Couldn’t afford much outside rent and food. Sent applications everywhere and not even Target would hire you.

At one point, for some bizarre reason you ran across Holiday cards. Don’t even remember what holiday it was for. Maybe someone’s birthday. Don’t even remember when it was.

There was a card you actually spent the money to buy for yourself. Can’t even remember what it said exactly. Can’t find it anymore. Mold might’ve gotten it. Doesn’t matter.

Said something along the lines of “If God didn’t want you to reach for your dreams and never let go, why did He give you fingernails?” Some kind of funny picture went along with it. Bought it and put it on your shelf as inspiration.

Months passed. Apparently inspiration wasn’t much of a help. Can’t even remember how you found how that one job was hiring, But in mid March, you had an interview that actually went well, and they told you they wanted you to start in a week, on March 30. Yeah, you weren’t gonna ask for the day off for your birthday.😂

Best birthday present you ever got. Woke up super early that Monday and went to that inspirational card. Funny, you had never actually opened it. Yeah. It was a birthday card. Who on earth makes inspirational birthday cards?

Well… Him. 😂 Laughed through tears and headed to work.

15 years ago. One of those many, many, many moments He seems to enjoy pranking you in the most wonderful ways. Thank goodness He has a sense of humor, or you would be screwed.😂

You really needed that year. That whole time. Arrogant bastard. Oh, sure, people deserve far worse, but you needed something to bring you down to earth. And you got it – and now looking back at it you’re thankful for it. Because you know that it was part of His plan for you. And He was with you the whole time, whether you realized it or not.

Just a stupid card. Maybe a total coincidence. Yeah, you can say that, but coincidences… they’re different. And you know it.

Three. Count them. Three random occurrences of “Isaiah” today. Tapping you on the shoulder. Now’s a good time.

Actually chilly tonight by holy city standards, but no firewood at Food Lion. An extra TV in front of the fireplace for tonight then.

So much energy filling you lately. Springtime. Getting things done that just need to get done. Finally even opened up the dating apps for some reason. Talk about optimism.

Such feelings of love. Happiness. Not magnanimity… that would be a byproduct of arrogance.

Just… you want joy for other people, especially those seemingly angry at you. Ire. Flame. Crow. Your best friend that seems to hate your faith that you’re gonna have to deal with, especially since all the work that you’ve had to do is now finally taken care of. Wokeness is cancer.😒

Getting in better physical shape each day. Lots of walking. Weights. Too bad gym is closed on the weekends. Do something every day. Keep eating well.

It’s springtime. A new year; the 47th one. And there’s a lot of people out there that never saw their 47th. So be grateful to Him for every day you have of yours.

Isaiah. When Ted will let you read.😂

Tomorrow are you gonna get caught up on the daily delivery log, Working on the bank reconciliation, list some books, and have a good day at work.

Goodbye 46. And thank you.🙏