Forgive me, Lord. Have to ask tho –

Are you funking kidding me?

What a Con! 👊😂

Oh no!

Well…. guess it’s not for everyone… 😂

Warming Up 😂

There is some humor you simply could never explain. A lot of it even seems out of character for you. But surprise surprise, you’re actually not a stereotype.

Does Con mean it’s the time of year for The Magnetic Fields? Eh, maybe not anymore. Last year was last year, and ended up being the best Con to date.

Sometimes the Magnetic Fields are whimsical and crazy, and others somber, bearing pain, and putting right into the soul with lyrics edging the border of crude, and sometimes crossing it.

And then there’s stuff like this. Something only you’re going to get the humor to.😂

This Con’s gonna be great.

The lyrics are so messed up… but the sound is so amazing… but the lyrics… messed up but hysterical… 😂

BUT THAT SOUND!!!

Whatever. Another extra grand from your own hard work coming down the pipe. Bringing someone new that might go somewhere. Might not. Who knows?

You know what?

Ask Him to cover you.

It’s just a good idea. 🤔

This life is meaningless compared to the one to come. So laugh at the messed up lyrics. At all the cray at Con. Cut loose and have a blast.😃

And always be grateful.

For so many things.

Like being able to laugh at the song. 😂

Hurry up and wait.

Hurry up and wait.

Hurry up and wait.

Seems so busy… and then not.

Texas never did happen again, but world class people you work with saw to it to give you a great bonus anyway for past help and loyalty.

So grateful to work with good people.

Will be working with more, hopefully soon when chaos dies down enough to have you look at doing some bookkeeping for them.

Other than that same holding pattern. Dad’s surgery is done. And mom are getting to be in worse shape overall, but hopefully will be better off for a little while when all of these latest medical issues calm down.

Slowly establishing your own route for booking. Had a spare hour today and found 37. Picked up groceries for Con. Possible date this weekend.

Definitely need to clean up the house. Just have books everywhere. Organization is definitely needed.😂 and get the guest bedroom cleaned up from cat sitting Sam while the folks were in the hospital.

Bill hasn’t even been gone a whole year, and it is amazing how quickly Ted has become fiercely territorial at anything else with four legs, lolz. Wow… poor Sam. Almost twice her size, but she absolutely terrorized him. 😂

Rediscovered how amazing bananas are for snacks. Feeling better with more energy in general. Gym is definitely helping with that, but you really need to establish more consistency.

That goes double for the Bible and church. Still hovering in 1 Corinthians with Paul and his annoying opinions. Just glad it says they are his opinions and not necessarily God’s.😂

Three more days before the first kickoff of college football season. Notre Dame and Navy playing in Ireland. Maybe next year they’ll play on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

Just more hurrying up and waiting. They say patience is a virtue.

Meh.

Could always be worse though. 😊

People with so many opinions… yeah, including you…

The response you need to use more often…

Better for the blood pressure anyway. 😂

A weekend you’re enjoying doing something productive.

Things finally might be taking off on the freelance side. If you can get another Texas gig, that’s three streams. And just going out more makes the store sizzle. Enjoy yourself tonight.

Lots of work on brushing up on software tomorrow.

Yeah, you’re a dinosaur, but you can learn new tricks.

Bald peanuts night.😃

Well, if you were into that stuff and felt like going somewhere, tonight would be the night.

Haven’t seen those friends in years. Whole fam headed home through coming back from a vacation. Three hyperactive boys, and one of your hyperactive best friends. You had a good time with them, and with another old friend from those days with her husband and kids.

Bizarre thing was you never felt like the third wheel, which is almost never the case. Didn’t necessarily feel your usual self. More like in a “too old to care” vibe. Though it is easy to be in such a zone when hyperactive teen boys are afoot. Thank goodness for the Xbox.

Been a fun three days with them visiting. But when they left, the mood stayed. Only wow was it so quiet…

YouTube recommendation threw a new iteration of the latest Earworm at you while at the market downtown. The vibe and the mood merged with the quiet and there you were.

YouTube algorithm brought up Patton soundtrack. Dad’s favorite movie… odd because you’d thought about it earlier today. How it starts. Distant horn, like one that could have echoed across centuries, from Jericho to Verdun; followed by a simple circa 70s era organ like any you’d heard in a country church growing up. It came on as you booted up a game of blowing up ships to wind down after they’d left.

Maybe those thoughts came about from some of the conversation your friend was having about his gaming campaign. Y’all talked about old characters; imaginary heroes that in reality are nothing more than representation of creativity and having fun hanging out with wonderful people.

Almost always pick Warspite. Picked Hood. Patton music was on. Beautiful render of the old battlecruiser. Swift and fierce. Long and painted as she was her final day. Led to something small. A feeling that flowed into the vibe and mood you’d already established. The horn. The simple church organ. Just an echo. No way to describe it. A level of familiarity you couldn’t really have. Thoughts of Crow were not far behind. Prayed for her. For Him to sooth her anger and calm any fear. To guide her Home. Probably not needed tonight, but still.

Then, like a moment of Déjà vu, it was gone. Just the score from a great movie from 1970 again. Algorithm went somewhere forgettable for a few minutes and back to yet another Golden Brown cover with even more harpsichord. That’s four of those songs that all sound amazing. But that vibe/mood returned, along with really not giving much of a care in the world. And again, there you were.

Weird mood. Very vulnerable one. You’d try something tonight. Cocaine. Heroin. LSD. Just to see where you’d go. Guitars and harpsichord of this song and its incarnations make you want to wonder and wander. But as your imagination takes flight, the couch seems more crowded. Ted can come out without fear, and she’s by your side just as her brother would have been. Rum and music will be enough, lolz

Feeling of quiet after a whirlwind of hanging out with old friends led to a feeling of quiet and loneliness. Then almost to spite that feeling, looking up and telling Him tonight would be a good night to hang out.

So much warmth.

Prayer and Patton’s church organ. It almost felt like that vibe may not have been merging with the mood, but… maybe countering it? Who knows.

Taken alone, it was a stoic feeling of whatever is between confidence and pride. You really like… whoever you are. It’s like even when you feel down, something inside you just refuses to tolerate it.

From the things the folks are going through to get ready to move…

From five years after Hood sank, but completely unrelated. Dad and Grandmama. She was 26. Those smiles. Wow, look at those smiles…

That’s where you come from. So few worries compared to so many other people. So easy to lose sight of it. Take it for granted. Until you actually just stop and think about the Joy behind it.

It’s not like you’re in any danger of trying to get a hold of some drugs or shrooms, but all of that fades away so fast when remember the joy and the warmth fills your heart.

Tonight‘s a great night for 1st Corinthians. Seems He’s looking forward to it too. 😂

You need to get outside more. Getting back in the gym is paying off, but with all the heat and the fact that you live and work at home, you just haven’t gotten a chance to get out into the summer.

(Not the Stranglers. But wow… an amazing job with a Mariachi twist. How did you miss this one?)

The sun on your hair over time gives it that golden tinge you always liked. Since it’s still mostly brown, you have a good few years of enjoying it. Simple pleasures in life. 😂

Deployments keep getting pushed back. Gar. Definitely could use a big check heading into Con. Well if not, going all in on the store can work; you certainly have the time to just bulldoze a bigger payment out of it.

Either way Con is closing in. Just about a month and an half out. Last year was amazing for interesting reasons. You didn’t know if that was going to happen again, but you sure wouldn’t mind it.

But now throw in from left field someone else wants to join you that one your best friends made sure to point out was single. OK well the asking her to con was your idea and she got excited. 😂 Lol yeah, you definitely wouldn’t mind. Who knows, that might even be crazy enough to work. Which means don’t worry about it and just see. People have to drop out all the time; so it might not happen. Would really be nice though.

Whatever. Just go ahead and admit you have your hopes up. 😂 But worst case scenario, you still get to do Con. V will be there again, and the rest of your usual group. Gonna be great. 😊

Open seas and skies ahead. Into 1st Corinthians now. Led here after Ecclesiastes. Important to remember what it means to have spiritual life in harmony with your temporal life. Feel how they rhyme. How much you need Him. To navigate the storms you face in life, be they those you can see around you and those you can’t. Doesn’t matter how easy or how rough they are… you need Him to be at the helm to get you where you want to go.

Golden brown, texture like sun
Lays me down, with my mind she runs
Throughout the night
No need to fight
Never a frown with golden brown

Every time just like the last
On her ship tied to the mast
To distant lands
Takes both my hands
Never a frown with golden brown

Golden brown, finer temptress
Through the ages she’s heading west
From far away
Stays for a day
Never a frown with golden brown

A woman, an odyssey, or heroin. Pick your meaning. Atlanta is west.

Sooner or later, the rhythm literally is going to get you… 😂

No idea why you like this music so much. You always have. A lot of the upbeat and cheerful electronica that’s on various anime stuff. Things you normally would have very little interest in. You like the music though. There’s always been some thing “familiar” about it. It and lots of songs that you hear here and there.

More tied into that new wave 80’s style music you turn into every once in a while on YouTube. Something about it just makes you feel young. Energetic.

Going back to the gym might be helping too. You’re not gonna start back with 1000 calorie days, but outside of the blisters on your feet, it’s not that bad.

Beginning rhythm reminds you of another from much earlier days. God Bless Gloria Estefan and the deep part of the 80’s. That Top Gun Soundtrack was perfect to run to.

LISTEN TO THAT. Remember those first dreams of romance you had. Memories of those dreams flood the imagination just like they did when your thoughts of girls named Kelly and Jessica wouldn’t leave. 😂

Same music when you ran cross country a few years later, along with most of the rest of that soundtrack. Music and made you want to MOVE.

In the end

Two hearts will meet

And maybe they’ll find

whatever they seek

If they can

They’ll learn how to keep

The faith that they found

In the sound of the beeeeeeat….

And here you are now, 46, single, and pfffft…

Nah.

Not tonight.

Things feel like they’re looking up.

You’re young. You always have been. 😂