https://goodlucksymbols.com/dolphins/
“Early Christians used the dolphin as a symbol of salvation through Christ. The images of dolphins would be shown with an anchor or pierced by a trident. Countless stories about how dolphins helped and saved humans in despair resulted to the use of dolphin images as symbols of Christ the savior.”
“Christians have also associated dolphins as a symbol of Christ who guides the souls to salvation. The obvious reason is that they observed the dolphins as they swam alongside of the boats.“
There is something you’re not seeing. She doesn’t want deal with telling you. Does it matter? You don’t know, but if you’re True, the answer is no. If you are True, you trust her.
Trust her with what you might ask? Why… living her life… as she sees fit… without your input. Oh the horror. 🤣
Thank goodness you did kick that degree of arrogance to the curb long ago, though its echo will probably always be a part of you. Eh, so long as you can realize when you’re being an arrogant prick and dial it back to see the big picture, you’ll be okay. 🙂
You think you actually are getting better at reading her… not her texts sadly, but she did send you a message in the last few days that you really appreciate. Maybe it was intentional, maybe not, but you definitely got it, and it has done much to calm your fears…
This is going to be a rough night for her. It’s honestly going to be rough for her until she hears what she needs to hear – in terms of finality. You know what her greatest fear is. What she doesn’t want to lose.
You’ve been praying all day that she’s able to keep it. Prior to this week it’s always been “what’s best for her” because neither one of you honestly knows what’s “best” compared to the One you’re praying to. But this week it’s been different.
You want her to be able to stay. You actually really do. Because that’s really what she wants deep in her heart. And you have to admit…. that’s actually an accomplishment.
Everyone has a selfish little bastard deep down that looks out for themselves first; the part that looks at all things exclusively in terms of vested interests…
Frankly… you would benefit if she got deported. All sorts of doors that you feared would be closed and all sorts of doors that you dreamt might open could be closer to being open…
Regarding her… it would just be in your vested interest. She knows that, based on what she has said in the past about it potentially happening, kindly providing you with one solitary vested interest to not want to see it happen… a rather overriding one you might say depending on how serious she actually was…
But the truth of the matter is… in your heart… you want her to be able to stay if she wants. You truly do. And honestly that is… it’s great you aren’t that guy anymore.
All else equal… what she wants actually, truly is more important to you than what you want. That’s what loving someone means. It’s bizarre to feel this way. But good. 🙂
And there are two other reasons as well that you weren’t wise enough to have considered as late as just a few years ago… both of you need to have your hearts protected…
You feel in your heart that she’s gonna be fine. You don’t have that sense of anxiety she does. You know how important this is to her, and you’re going to sleep just fine tonight.
You can’t see danger around anyone but her. For some reason, He’s let you know when she’s in danger in the past, and now, you’re really not concerned.
If something does happen you’re going to feel like a real piece of shit, because that would mean the selfish vested interest bastard wasn’t as gone as you might have thought…
But no… she’s going to be fine. You realize… well you’re beginning to realize… that deep down, she truly is meant to end up there. That might be why your home seems to be getting hotter every year. And maybe why you’re not sure where you’re going to end up anymore – because you no longer want to be sure.
Now, stop and consider how He works. How stray thoughts of that one girl in New York on the Plus had that led you to find the deep “family-ship” with the Crow to begin with.
You would never have considered leaving the Holy City. Never. And now you feel you don’t need to end up there anymore. Who else could’ve done that?
And for what purpose? Could it be that you have a true woman of your dreams not yet discovered from somewhere else that you would never have given a chance to prior to that stranglehold being broken?
Probably not. But that’s down from Absolutely not, lol…
The Crow has found her Holy City. Your arrogance cost you your Holy City once, and you had to spend your 30th birthday living on your parents couch because of stupid decisions that you are still trying to recover from.
What she would have to go through would be many orders of magnitude worse.
You know what that did to you. To your self-esteem. Feeling it was unfair but still your responsibility. Feeling like you were in control of your destiny one minute and living off the charity of your family the next.
You can’t imagine how hard that would be on her. Now.
Vested interests can go fuck themselves – that woman needs to be able to choose where she wants to live.
She has finally found a path out of a place of darkness that could lead her to being truly happy. She needs to be able to be happy. And right now living there makes her happy…
Lord be with her. Guide her on the path to happiness. Show her the way to the light she seeks. Grant her pardon from mistakes she has made that have spurred her into turning her back on darkness and seeking that light. Let her know Your love for her and Your desire to see her happy.
Calm her heart, both tonight and in the future. Give her wisdom and determination in entering a new chapter in her life. And hold her in Your arms, every minute I can’t hold her in mine. And if I am ever blessed enough to hold her again, hold the both of us would ya?
Amen.
It’s Not a Frame of Mind 