I love you. Who you are through and through. You are the love of my life. Beautiful mother of my children. We’ve both worked so hard the last year. I’ve been in North Dakota and Nebraska hunting the bear, and you’ve taken the affairs of the house like the Proverbs 31 woman you are. Booking? Bookkeeping? Retail? Food/Bev? Dentistry? Govt Contracting? Music? Your jam from the comfort of the home we’ve both made.

Our children. Pile them into the car. Van. SUV. Station wagon in whatever form it’s taken in 2025.

We’re heading west, on the vacation we’ve both EARNED. Our kids have never seen the mountains of Tennessee. Gatlinburg. Pigeon Forge. The places mom loved so much.

Maybe even further. Grand Canyon. Yosemite. Who cares? We’ve piled our family into the family cruiser to spend two weeks together and have a blast like we were always meant to.

I hear this. Feel this. Midwestern, sure. But since the first time I hard it, I’ve pictured your beautiful, smiling face… wrangling our kids into the vacationmobile as we were always meant to to have quality family time we couldn’t get anywhere else.

A memory I’ll never have. Even though I have something etched into my mind when I hear this song as if it was part of who I was.

A voyage across land rather than sea. Our kids with us. Virginia Grace. Christian Alexander. And one or two names of your choice. Honoring those dear to you.

How? Why?

Couldn’t care less.

Only one thing soothes my heart.

No matter how I die… I will not die alone. The Holy Spirit will be with me. Always.

When I see the breadth of all that is truly real… this crib… will be merely that.

All regrets will stay here. Especially the lack of this memory that exists in a world in a road not taken.

I can’t comprehend suicide. But holy crap… I can’t wait. 😃

Lovely funny story… 😂

It crossed paths with you. Not for tonight though.

Glad the path led you here.

It’ll be time at some point.

Miss you so much, buddy.

My goodness, though, you did your job. I know you’re helping someone else now.

See you in a few years. 🫡

For simplicity.

Daddy’s home. At least for now. Someone’s happy.😃

Quarter of a century since that night.

He told you’d make it.

Himself. In that room.

And you did.

You weren’t even praying. You were punishing yourself with liquor like the 22 year old fool you were.

The voice seemed almost in the same tired tone of a parent telling a sad child the happy ending so they knock it off and get some sleep.😂

It’s been so real ever since.

It took a long time… but now you know that that gift was just tangential.

The real gift what that reality He showed you.

It was a gift. An unearned gift.

You had your do your part, of course. Work. Study. Be diligent. Stay on top of it all. But it came together.

You could have done all of that without Him. He didn’t learn anything for you.

But you would never have made it, even if you did everything the same way.

The piece of paper is framed on your office wall. It never got you a job.

It has a lot of proud words and signatures on it, but it only says one thing.

“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:13

Miracles… happen.

Part of you died that night. The part that had stopped taking Him seriously, even though you’d always believed.

You believed because you were raised with a strong foundation.

And because a few moments here and there where He saved you from injury and death. One could write those off as being lucky,

But as it died, a part of you was also born that night, and it would learn to walk six months later.

And ever since, your interactions with him have been as a man of faith, not a child who was raised Christian.

Since then?

Lots of regrets, but more center on not doing more things instead of the things you’ve done.

But that’s when you can get into trouble.🤔

Four more days until lower case h home. Thanksgiving.

You will never not have endless things to be grateful for.

If you make it 25 more years… wonder how a 72-year old you will look at the decisions you’ve made.

It won’t be long if time keeps flying.

You probably will die sooner. Most of your life you’ve for some reason thought you’d only get 56 years here, but no idea why.

You’re doing better now than you have been in so long though. In the grand scheme.

In a few days, you’ll pick right back up where you left off.

Rest. You have so much to accomplish tomorrow. 😊

Dschinghis Khan’s “Moskau”was lumped in with “Rasputin” in YouTube algorithms. That must have been how it happened back in 2018. Thanks to an absurd late 80s song by a Slovenian band and a taste in music that’s literally inexplicable, searching for “Moskau” mixes led to a song by a German band whose lead singer was clearly an older Justin Trudeau from an alternate dimension, and a slight period in your life where you were gravitating to love songs.

German isn’t a beautiful sounding language, but there was something so lovely about this music; the music itself was unique in bombastic tenderness in a way you couldn’t explain with any other combination of words, and the words – whatever they were – sung with undeniable talent… whatever… it’s okay to like odd things. 😂

The discovery coincided with you taking charge of inventory work at the place you were at, which meant that they mentally merged., as “at the time” things always do.

Two of the techs come in one day and hear. Paused, and asked “Is this German?” Without missing a beat, you deadpanned… “Well yeah; doing inventory, so German love songs of the early 90’s” with a completely straight face as if he ought to know the music schedule.

They didn’t know if you were joking, and TBH, you didn’t either. Either way gives a laugh, and you’ve long since passed the threshold to care what others thought about things you like. That tech thought you were weird though. Probably doesn’t miss working with you. They couldn’t tell when you were joking thanks to the deadpan humor. A few of them finally figured out that if they couldn’t tell, it didn’t matter, and when it wasn’t time for joking, you weren’t.

Several Flippers songs were named for women, likely past lives of the singers. Two of them must have dated separate women both named Angelina, because they have two completely different songs, each named “Angelina”.

Or maybe two of them had a thing with the same woman and each got a song out of it. lol who knows. There’s got to be a few funny stories behind that. Literally who knows.

If there’s anything that irks you on these trips, it’s when the on-site guys pull the speakers out and blare standard fare classic rock as as if they had to prove they were so freaking normal to each other.

Union guys in Pennsylvania… swandagoodness they loved their AC/DC and you’ve heard “Thunderstruck” enough now. They honestly seemed to come off the assembly line themselves. Music taste. Overall demeanor. Personality.

Nah, that’s not being fair. They eventually mellowed out once they realized you were there to help them blast thru their deadlines and leave. You weren’t trying to take their jerbs. You wanted them to freaking keep them and look smart for bringing you on board. Meh. Yankees.

You wanted to jam Malaika while cutting shelves so loud they’d never get the earworm out.😂 Passive aggressive isn’t you though. Never has been. Active aggressive is more fun. Smile. Eye contact. Nothing subtle. Yes, I’m doing this on purpose. Turn your crap down or you’re getting both Angelinas.😂

Your own crew last time were talking Migos; rapper that sang “Bad and Boujee” and it was almost like a need for ‘badass approved’ music. They wouldn’t figure out where they wanted to eat and the clock was ticking while you were driving. Like Clark Griswold, you said you needed consensus or the music would hurt. No consensus. Okay. Anna May Remix of y’all’s beloved guy until we have a solution. With singing along.

So, Culver’s was fine. 😂 And the team leader was laughing and singing along too. Your crews are so much more fun than the locals. Pennsylvania hardhat hive mind wouldn’t have survived.😂

Grrr…something has you salty this trip. North Dakota’s alright. Been in colder, but not to work. Even further from the Sea than Nebraska, so this is the new “peak inland” spot.

Worried? Maybe. Arms still haven’t fully recovered. Lots on the horizon to be concerned about. Things you’d be far more riled up about if you had kids to worry about. Understandings of what’s coming down the pipe economically and geopolitically.

The utter lack of seriousness and wisdom of populations across the West, not just America. Prevalence of Non-survival-based values. Geopolitical train wrecks coming, and generations of strong men have created the world we’re about to enter. 20-year old boys are starting to wonder if they’re going to be sent into a war by girls who voted the way Taylor Swift told them to, etc. Most likely not, but the divide between people having to deal with the consequences of those who have no idea what consequences are will be the theme of the year at some point; we are a species that apparently just has to learn the hard way.

Lol like you yourself aren’t just as bad. No one’s immune.😂

Freshwater Lake Michigan looms below. Closing in on O’Hare. Brief connection to Fargo. Then it’s rural North Dakota. Hours to get to hotel. 65 minutes across overly straight roads to the site every day.

You won’t be driving. So no threatening the crew with music scarring if they burn clock trying to decide where to have lunch.😔 Bring the Bible. Lots of time to read all about Romans.

Will need to read Isaiah again. It’s not that you missed something, it’s that there are so many different things going on. Written that way.

Meantime, you’d been wondering, and signs have been mounting. Romans is easier. That’s the whole point of it right now.

Lots of little reminders. Subtle, for months. Not like Isaiah where you were going to Revelation and asked if He wanted you to go somewhere else and…well, you got an answer. That was odd. Definitely mixed things up with regards to how you thought you communicated with Him. It was pretty straight to the point, though, so hey, no complaints.

Romans verses here and there, lots of people talking about that Empire. Maybe even a trailer for a movie? Nah, that’s just your mind making connections. It’s important to remember that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. So when it’s Him, you know. You’re strong here – but tend to your strengths too, so they don’t become blind spots.

Second leg of the trip home, the Bible on the plane thinking Romans 1, and before you get it open the woman next to you says…

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel,because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.”

She thought it was nice that you weren’t ashamed to read the Bible on the plane. And, naturally it was Roman’s 1:16.

Brief conversation to explain your giggling, thank her for letting Him tap you on the shoulder through her joy, and you started reading.

Oh yeah, it was easier. And Chapter 5 by the Fireplace tonight to use up some more wood since you didn’t realize you would be heading out so soon.

Glad you got the chance to meet up with the new group again. 10-15 people at a nearby house to have fascinating discussions of faith. Not just a Bible study… Really. Smart. People. Three college professors. Two biochemists. Doctors. You loved it. Got to be the guy just listening and the “simple” guy.

One topic was longevity tech; how it’ll be possible to live to 150 with vitality. You were one of the voices that said they could keep it.

You wanted out of the crib when He decided you were ready; to go Home. The future of a world run by man and AI sounds worse every day, especially since the next is run by Him…

The fact that they were all about great food, high-end bourbon and fine cigars; yeah, hog Heaven 😂 So glad you were here. Next ones in December; hopefully you’ll be back.

Met a few ‘someones’ there. Who knows. Focus on the wisdom first, then the social stuff. And you did, so it was fine. 😂

North Dakota in November is going to be a chore, especially given the levels of soreness that actually now qualify as minor injuries from repeated reciprocating, saw and shears cutting through that metal.

If it’s going to be like cutting metal was in Nebraska, you’re going to take charge on research and put together something for everyone to protect their arms. No one is used to doing this stuff at these angles, and vibration injuries look serious, IE potentially long-term if you aren’t careful. Microfractures to muscles where they attach to bone. Just reading about it hurt.

Wouldn’t have been as bad, but you chose to take the harder machines so the younger guys could use the better ones. Turns out the ones you started with just sucked, and the other ones were better. By the time you figured it out, you were used to them, so, hey…

It’s been over a week and your fingers are still swollen. Steroid injection and doc visit helped. You needed this second week home also. Folks need you. Dad’s shoulder now going. They can’t really move furniture; not that that’ll stop them.

As much pain as your arms were in, they’d warn you something was heavy, and it really, really wasn’t.

Far more difficult times are coming down the pipe. These are some of the good old days. Money doing well, lots of work on the horizon, you’re in good health, the folks are still walking, Ted still runs around the house on occasion, and the economy hasn’t collapsed yet.

Never too early to prepare, though.

Reading by firelight; so much peace…

*****

1 Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.

4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

*****

There is so much love in the world you live in. Reflect it like the moon reflects sunlight as best you can.

Even when it does get worse, there will always be a dawn.

If and when time takes away your loved ones, your health, money, eventually your home and probably your memory… you will be wealthy beyond comprehension in the Holy Spirit.

And then, you’ll have outgrown the crib. 🙂

Lots going on.

Poor girl, she has no idea it’ll be another few weeks in the chattery soon.

Almost to the halfway point of week 2 and they want your team for another one.

Another gig also on the horizon. There might be more things going on till Thanksgiving. They already asked if you could do a fourth week. It’d be better to head home for a short bit and come back out. If Ted could be home, it’d be fine. Dad’s happy to run the store, and you’re considering it.

Cutting sheet metal is hard. Shears, saws, and a dozen muscles you never use, even when lifting. The customer’s management has said if they reach a certain point by Thanksgiving, all of them will get a $1K bonus. Not you or your squad… but all of you want to come to bat to get them paid extra. That’s the quality of workers you have. ‘Can-do’ attitude all the way. It’s infectious. Gives you reserves of energy you didn’t know you had. And your’e way ahead of schedule now. So the sheet metal might take a backseat and deploy those new units might be stepped up. That does scare you a bit. They’re 45 lbs; never fire-brigaded hundreds of units that heavy before.

Bible says not to worry though. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Eating a lot of spiraled ham and canned pineapple. Two ingredients. Pineapple and pineapple juice. Nothing else. Not sure where this craving for pineapples has come from in the last few months. You’ve always loved pears the most. Now you can’t get enough pineapple. Good snack.

Praying a lot lately. Finished Isaiah, but feel a cold elliptical orbit around the Son again. Not sure where to go next. Thinking you might need to read it again, focus more with that study guide you found towards the end.

There isn’t too much more time before November. Try your hardest to enjoy every day.

This short period of time you have a feeling is going to end up being one of the more happy times of your life, but not one you remember a lot of details on. Mom & Dad are still alright. Money’s doing well. The ebb and flow of the various gigs is in a ‘paying off’ phase. You have three favorite college football teams, and all are in the top 10. That happened once before recently and it lasted a week.😂

Need to get closer to Him, as always. He is the source of all your blessings, and you really need to remember that. May the orbit warm up a bit. Maybe read a shorter book to get through the time waiting and then reread Isaiah. Maybe Romans. Someone said he read Romans once a day for 30 days. Wow. Guess that means nothing’s stopping you from reading it once.😂

Miss Ted. Cuddly ball of love. She’s being well taken care of; as much as she can be since she needs her meds 2/day.

Tomorrow will be hot. Hydration, hydration, hydration. You have the safety topic tomorrow. Last time you told the guys to stretch well; muscles will last a lot longer. Someone said “awareness”.

Eh, you’ll think of something.

Sleep is coming up fast. Insomnia isn’t a problem out here after how hard you work.

You’ll miss these days one day. So grateful that you realize it, and that they’ll be even brighter after you’re done with Romans 1.😂