Choice

How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship

If you are being abused, remember:

• You are not to blame for being battered or mistreated.
• You are not the cause of your partner’s abusive behavior.
• You deserve to be treated with respect.
• You deserve a safe and happy life.
• Your children deserve a safe and happy life.
• You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.

Signs that your abuser is NOT changing:

• He minimizes the abuse or denies how serious it really was.
• He continues to blame others for his behavior.
• He claims that you’re the one who is abusive.
• He pressures you to go to couple’s counseling.
• He tells you that you owe him another chance.
• You have to push him to stay in treatment.
• He says that he can’t change unless you stay with him and support him.
• He tries to get sympathy from you, your children, or your family and friends.
• He expects something from you in exchange for getting help.
• He pressures you to make decisions about the relationship.

If you’re in an abusive relationship

Why doesn’t she just leave? It’s the question many people ask when they learn that a woman is suffering battery and abuse. But if you are in an abusive relationship, you know that it’s not that simple. Ending a significant relationship is never easy. It’s even harder when you’ve been isolated from your family and friends, psychologically beaten down, financially controlled, and physically threatened.

If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you may be feeling confused, uncertain, frightened, and torn. Maybe you’re still hoping that your situation will change or you’re afraid of how your partner will react if he discovers that you’re trying to leave. One moment, you may desperately want to get away, and the next, you may want to hang on to the relationship. Maybe you even blame yourself for the abuse or feel weak and embarrassed because you’ve stuck around in spite of it. Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame. The only thing that matters is your safety.

*****

No – it doesn’t matter if you hit him first. His abuse was emotional before it was physical.

Being blunt. Sorry, not sorry. Good friends care about you, whether it upsets you or not.

Please…at the very least… seek help from people who understand what I can’t.

If you can’t leave an abuser, there is a reason why: Emotional damage, and you must come to terms with it. Must. 🌷

Love,

Orson