https://goodlucksymbols.com/dolphins/

“Early Christians used the dolphin as a symbol of salvation through Christ. The images of dolphins would be shown with an anchor or pierced by a trident. Countless stories about how dolphins helped and saved humans in despair resulted to the use of dolphin images as symbols of Christ the savior.”

“Christians have also associated dolphins as a symbol of Christ who guides the souls to salvation. The obvious reason is that they observed the dolphins as they swam alongside of the boats.“

There is something you’re not seeing. She doesn’t want deal with telling you. Does it matter? You don’t know, but if you’re True, the answer is no. If you are True, you trust her.

Trust her with what you might ask? Why… living her life… as she sees fit… without your input. Oh the horror. 🤣

Thank goodness you did kick that degree of arrogance to the curb long ago, though its echo will probably always be a part of you. Eh, so long as you can realize when you’re being an arrogant prick and dial it back to see the big picture, you’ll be okay. 🙂

You think you actually are getting better at reading her… not her texts sadly, but she did send you a message in the last few days that you really appreciate. Maybe it was intentional, maybe not, but you definitely got it, and it has done much to calm your fears…

This is going to be a rough night for her. It’s honestly going to be rough for her until she hears what she needs to hear – in terms of finality. You know what her greatest fear is. What she doesn’t want to lose.

You’ve been praying all day that she’s able to keep it. Prior to this week it’s always been “what’s best for her” because neither one of you honestly knows what’s “best” compared to the One you’re praying to. But this week it’s been different.

You want her to be able to stay. You actually really do. Because that’s really what she wants deep in her heart. And you have to admit…. that’s actually an accomplishment.

Everyone has a selfish little bastard deep down that looks out for themselves first; the part that looks at all things exclusively in terms of vested interests…

Frankly… you would benefit if she got deported. All sorts of doors that you feared would be closed and all sorts of doors that you dreamt might open could be closer to being open…

Regarding her… it would just be in your vested interest. She knows that, based on what she has said in the past about it potentially happening, kindly providing you with one solitary vested interest to not want to see it happen… a rather overriding one you might say depending on how serious she actually was…

But the truth of the matter is… in your heart… you want her to be able to stay if she wants. You truly do. And honestly that is… it’s great you aren’t that guy anymore.

All else equal… what she wants actually, truly is more important to you than what you want. That’s what loving someone means. It’s bizarre to feel this way. But good. 🙂

And there are two other reasons as well that you weren’t wise enough to have considered as late as just a few years ago… both of you need to have your hearts protected…

You feel in your heart that she’s gonna be fine. You don’t have that sense of anxiety she does. You know how important this is to her, and you’re going to sleep just fine tonight.

You can’t see danger around anyone but her. For some reason, He’s let you know when she’s in danger in the past, and now, you’re really not concerned.

If something does happen you’re going to feel like a real piece of shit, because that would mean the selfish vested interest bastard wasn’t as gone as you might have thought…

But no… she’s going to be fine. You realize… well you’re beginning to realize… that deep down, she truly is meant to end up there. That might be why your home seems to be getting hotter every year. And maybe why you’re not sure where you’re going to end up anymore – because you no longer want to be sure.

Now, stop and consider how He works. How stray thoughts of that one girl in New York on the Plus had that led you to find the deep “family-ship” with the Crow to begin with.

You would never have considered leaving the Holy City. Never. And now you feel you don’t need to end up there anymore. Who else could’ve done that?

And for what purpose? Could it be that you have a true woman of your dreams not yet discovered from somewhere else that you would never have given a chance to prior to that stranglehold being broken?

Probably not. But that’s down from Absolutely not, lol…

The Crow has found her Holy City. Your arrogance cost you your Holy City once, and you had to spend your 30th birthday living on your parents couch because of stupid decisions that you are still trying to recover from.

What she would have to go through would be many orders of magnitude worse.

You know what that did to you. To your self-esteem. Feeling it was unfair but still your responsibility. Feeling like you were in control of your destiny one minute and living off the charity of your family the next.

You can’t imagine how hard that would be on her. Now.

Vested interests can go fuck themselves – that woman needs to be able to choose where she wants to live.

She has finally found a path out of a place of darkness that could lead her to being truly happy. She needs to be able to be happy. And right now living there makes her happy…

Lord be with her. Guide her on the path to happiness. Show her the way to the light she seeks. Grant her pardon from mistakes she has made that have spurred her into turning her back on darkness and seeking that light. Let her know Your love for her and Your desire to see her happy.

Calm her heart, both tonight and in the future. Give her wisdom and determination in entering a new chapter in her life. And hold her in Your arms, every minute I can’t hold her in mine. And if I am ever blessed enough to hold her again, hold the both of us would ya?

Amen.

1) Start Writing.

2) Write Drunk.

3) Edit Sober.

4) Post If Appropriate; Save if Not.

5) Trash When No Longer Relevant.

Hope it keeps working, lolz 😂

What if you’re not broken?

LOL everyone’s broken 🤣

Waterfront park downtown. Amazing place that’s boring to visit alone.

Things just don’t feel nearly what used to. There’s so many things you don’t understand. So many things. You have your limits, but short of them you can accept things for how they are in order to get through the day-to-day.

Things with Him are mending…well seem to be. You miss going to church. Not enough to go while it’s at a high school yet. Hopefully that construction finishes soon. In the meantime, you really need to reconcile your shallowness on the matter.

You wonder what’s going on in her world. She’s being so distant, but you trust that she has her reasons for pushing you back. That trust is very difficult considering everything you’ve been through, but if you are True, you’ll manage. You are worried about her, but not over what she’d think. You miss her. But even you can read the tea leaves right now.

You felt guilty even going on a date Saturday, but you were doing what she said to – and wanted her to know. Deep down you think you knew nothing would come of it. You don’t run into the sheer volume of Walls you do without recognizing you’re being…guided.

Work is better. A little bit at least. Not much else to say just yet. Promotion was good and now it’s time to deliver.

Folks are being the folks. You’re avoiding them, though you don’t know why. Fixing that needs to be a priority. Screw insecurity they won’t be here forever.

If there’s one thing you would ask for right now it’s…meaning.

For now just enjoy the warmth; what warmth there is. And be thankful.

Always be thankful.

Miss springtime. Autumn is nice also, but just not the same. Beginning to get stir crazy…want a weekend nature jaunt and it keeps storming. Haven’t been camping in forever, even when you did hike Table Rock.

Lots of stuff on the horizon. Things seem to be generally trending upwards, but you routinely get knocked off your optimism perch for a few hours.

He’s being Him alright.

You’re not certain if it is some sort of cosmic sense of balance that He places upon the universe, or if Ego is like grass and just needs to be cut sometimes.

Friday’s come at a good time this week. 🤔 It’s been a bad one for a few people you care about, but you really don’t have much to complain about yourself.

It will be good to close your eyes for a while.

Mom’s going crazy wanting to have your house’s interiors painted. You wish you…cared. Though if you did, you’d feel guilty probably. She loves interior decorating though, so hey…

… let’s just go brighter and have a coastal theme or something. 🤔

Least you got that sad song out of your head. Saddest asong on earth far as you’re concerned. Naturally it coincided with her biggest fear looking possible, though you didn’t realize it until just now.

……….

Looking back now… Amazing how things can happen so fast since just Friday afternoon….

Yeah, there’s something wrong if you start feeling this way. This ain’t you, and it’s not supposed to be. Things seem dulled, not vibrant. You are somewhat…overloaded? Yeah… by the recent standards you’re trying to change. So…good thing, right?

Vibrant… such a relatively new term you’ve started using to describe so many things you see that appeal to you. “Energetic.” “Dynamic.” Regular old ‘Bright.’

None of them have the degree that “Vibrant” does. A person can be happy, but Vibrant means something even more…

What’s “Vibrant?”

Your Soul is.

Your City is.

Your Dreams are.

Your Life (default) is.

So what’s wrong? What isn’t Vibrant right now?

Your spiritual life isn’t.

Your work life isn’t.

Your love life isn’t.

Your health isn’t.

Ouch. That’s pretty much all the things that matter in the here and now. 😳

You’ve regressed on your weight. Good news is that you feel horrible. It bothers you to be at a place better than you were two years ago. You walked for two hours last night, put 6.4 miles into it, and feel fine today. So, put that into the “in progress” category. 🤔

You can’t do anything about love life right now. Just overloaded. More than anyone needs to know. Frankly you wish you weren’t as smart sometimes.

You can throw down more at work. Have a good opportunity or two coming down the pipe… if you can just embrace the change of losing the Celt – but she was your guide and erstwhile mentor. You miss her a lot more than you realize, even though you text every other day or so.

Spiritual life is… better… but still too cold. Probably need to untie internal knots before going out on any limbs soon. You’re still in wonderful shape by some folks’ standards, but not yours. This will be good to work on. 🤔

You do want the world to just be quiet for a bit. But maybe the reason why isn’t because you’re tired. Maybe it’s because there are things you really just need to work on.

Sigh…storms this weekend at both Table Rock and Caesar’s Head… again.

This phase is taking way too long. Find what you need to find and get past it.

And get that damn song out of your head.

Something bad’s coming. But something better’s on the way too…

Cautious Optimism seems to be the order of the day.

Have a lot of stuff to work on….

Work… personal… health… home… spiritual…

Good thing seems to be that hitting any one slowly improves the rest. 🤔

Good ol’ Ventures have never let you down… 😊😊😊

Hibernation Weekend seems like it might have helped – once everything was said and done…

Stay tuned! 🙏🌷👍

It can’t be said enough…

Never forget how much He listens. How much He loves. How much He cares.

Calm skies. Don’t ever take them for granted…

You really don’t know. You’re trying your best to ignore your feelings, but you can’t. Any success on your part comes from what you truly want for her and her request to find it.

She can see right through you, so there’s no reason to act otherwise, other than to keep up appearances so you don’t get in the way.

Maddening, isn’t it? Lol maddening in a different way though… maddening in a way you can actually handle because no matter what this is good for her. Finally what is good for her.

So what about you? So much going on around you. Swirling vortexes of many different folks are surrounding you, and each day at work you are almost on an island, alone and able to focus…. only this tiring problem rearing its ugly head out of nowhere robs you of it.

What the Crow learns in the west rhymes with you sleeping on a bed for a week, and the two voices become one – His. Was wondering when He was going to show up, lolz…

Damn that uncomfortable thing. If the mask isn’t on just ride it sprays air straight into your wounded eye, drying it out even more than staring at a screen for 20 hours.

But He wants you to wear it. And He is showing you her concern for you to do it. Yeah, that’s almost a cheap shot, lolz…

Part of acting your age is acknowledging that you’re statistically over halfway to the grave – if you’re lucky of course. Nice to know that people care enough about you to want you to max out what time you have left.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way was it? You were supposed to be a heck of a lot more. A lot more meaningful. A lot more respectable and well known. At least have a better career, and more money.

Maybe the reason you never did is because you have nothing to fight for. By yourself you’ll be fine. Not great but fine. Likely dying in a nursing home alone in about 35 to 40 years.

Memories of various pets adopted here and there. A sense of loss, but at the very least not a sense of unhappiness. It would be stumbling into the next world as safely as possible.

No wonder you’re attracted to dangerous women… 🤣 You can afford to be – so long as you remember where you came from and hold true to rule number three.

Fascinating how so many things happen at once. It was merely three weeks ago you were with her…and it seems like ages.

You are in tonight. The honest reason is that you are very tired and don’t want to go out. Which is a shame because you honestly have many options tonight. Oh sure you’d love to talk to her tonight… but… you know she needs a break from you.

Maybe that’s what the source of being down is…

… but then she asks you for some funny pictures of your teeth… and you remember that she does really care about you. Even if it isn’t meant to be, she does truly care about you.

And that makes literally everything better. So no…nevermind. There’s no question after all.

It’s Day. 🙂

You just don’t know what time. And right now you don’t care.

God bless that woman, and keep her safe.

May God grant you clarity in the other paths that you travel.

The Crow was right about your former coworker the Celt. She was put in your life for a reason also. And though romantically there’s not much there… you’ve gotten to know her a bit better. Been shown some of her pain. And wow it’s… in many ways worse than any other you’ve ever seen.

There’s something about her that holds a key to brighter future for one of you, and that is a reason to be grateful.

She knows about the Crow and your feelings, which is one reason she is probably more trusting of your intentions then she would otherwise be.

The Crown is reaching out, yet being distant. You don’t know what to do with that.

Friends need you. Coworkers need you. And yet you’re alone in so many ways.

So what’s next?

Well… anytime you ask, you know what the answer is. And you’ve been keeping Him waiting for a while now.

One hell of a broken promise to explain, that you didn’t see coming.

And the fact that you have difficulty regretting it… leads you to even more worry.

What will the consequences be? You can’t punish yourself to get out of them, that’s one lesson you sure as hell have learned.

You know what you fear the most, and how you would interpret that. And you really hate yourself for it because there’s no way you could put that on her.

So you can’t do it. What you gave her was meant for your wife. And that’s why it felt right. But it was your decision. And you would never hold that against her. It was the world to you but you can never risk even an appearance of machinations. Just the thought of that sickens you. Thank God you’re better than that. If she’s right… you used to not be.

You really don’t even know how to process it. Still. All you know is that you will never be happy unless He is on your side.

Oh fun…a paradox. Well… make it easy on yourself. Be honest with yourself. And Him. And her – if she asks. Otherwise don’t burden her.

Well then… seems like it’s late afternoon after all… 🤔

It’s alright… take solace in the fact that things are moving… and you actually have finally started to learn from her…🌷🙏 🕊

You are truly blessed… never cease giving thanks… and never cease sharing those blessings with those dear to you…🙏