Spring….☺️

Finally. Hanover Fist in the bank. Time to work hard to keep it there. Still aching a bit, but definitely definitely going to keep churning on health. Walking every day. Limit grocery purchases to only what you need. How? Walk. 40 minutes to and from, only carrying a case of Bubly.😂

Feeling the Spring, even though it’s a gray, overcast day. Big traffic disturbance on the way home you felt obligated to intervene to assist with.

Sometimes you’ve just got to chase a duck. 😂

Nebraska

And you’re done. Wow. Projections indicated it would be a two week job. Four man team down from six. But your team knocked it out in less than a week. 20 containers, and you had nine wrapped up the first two days… Client was impressed to say the least. Awesome.

Headed home. Airport waiting is always contemplative when you get to the charging station first, lolz.

Held up with some horses carrying those machines. Your team got over 10,000 out. Amazing. 47 is right around the corner and you never quit. You had to fight through the pain and bruises every day, stay hydrated, push and push and push some more – and never stopped. Walking wounded towards the end of each day, but even though they’d have been better off with one of the other weightlifters on the roster, they couldn’t have finished early without you and your Advil-infused grit.

Now that it’s over? So worth it. Good for the soul and the wallet. Another week at that pace… sitting here in the airport knowing you’d be recovering today and tomorrow? Would be gut-wrenching – but yeah… you could still do it.😊

Not sure how many of these you’re going to be able to do in the future though. Obviously it lit a fire under you to shore up your health, which has been far worse, but wow Tuesday was a painful day.

Springtime at home is Gawjuss, so there will be plenty of reasons to get out.

Will be midnight by the time you get in, so you’ll uber. Dad always wants to pick you up, but you won’t have him out that late nowadays. It’s not early enough. 😂

Plenty of staring at-screen work awaits you at home, along with some booking to cover the basics. Seriously enough time has passed to push forward with the new client as well.

Isaiah is a tough slog. Early chapters really doom and gloom. So much context needed. “Testing” means different things. OT is so different than NT sometimes. Still wondering why He’s pushing it, but you always find out in time. Had to start over once already, so much time had passed and you’d forgotten where you left off. Chapter 9 is inbound; word has it the tone changes. Will see on the way to Atlanta.

Springtime brings energy. Vibrance. Pollen.🤔 You feel a different kind of energy now than you did when you were younger. More muted, like it’s harder as you get older. Nah, more likely it’s all the pain you’re still in.😂

You earned it though: https://youtu.be/THzyXA149I4?si=aUotHXoKksilN1wP

St. Pat’s

Two years ago…lolz literally now… you said goodbye in an airport. Now you’re back here for a red eye to Nebraska for a few weeks to make some Hanover Fist money, while bringing bookkeep work via internet with you for nights. Yay.

Answered prayers yet again. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes yes. There’s a magic 8 ball joke in there somewhere. He has His reasons, and shows them to you in His time.

She’s the one who left, and she’s the one who’s seemed to be mad at you ever since. Shrug. Airports.

Never been to Nebraska. College football lore holds there’s a big city in a corner, a Big Red football stadium in the middle, and flat cornfield covering the rest. Well, soon you’ll help build a data center somewhere near the Kansas border. Furthest you’ll ever have been away from the sea. No wonder you’re grumpy.

Kind friend coming to the house twice a day to give Ted her medicine. You don’t deserve friends like the ones you have, even when you’re not on good terms with your best friend at the time because he all of the sudden started caring about politics but doesn’t go further than headlines and late night nut job comedians. Run-on sentences rock.

Next few years are gonna suck, no matter what happens in November. It’ll get worse given how things are going. Wish you hadn’t gotten the Econ degree sometimes. Ignorance is bliss. Every day, Ross Perot seems more and more to have been a prophet of doom. Eventually the bottom will fall out and idiots nationwide will pander for votes by doubling down on spending their way out of debt. AI’s going to be replacing jobs soon. That’s when it’ll hit the fan. Cost of living blown up by inflation just in time for structural unemployment the likes of which no one’s ever contemplated.

You’re sadly getting pretty good at forecasting bad things happening. Saw college football dying 25 years ago, and watched as step by step, disastrous change after disastrous change to clapping seals oblivious to the idea that change never happens the way they think it will. TV networks turning it into a cake made of icing for short term profits. Swandagoodness people never learned Pandora’s Box.

“Don’t start paying players.”

“Whatever man, they deserve some of that money.”

“They get free college to play a game.”

“Muh free market”

(Shrug)

“Wait, why are teams unionizing?”

“Because no one ever beat any sense into you.”

Good thing you have the Holy Spirit in your heart. Whatever happens, you have the joy within you to get bored of depression. 😂

Two younger friends are popping out kids. That’ll be it for your friends. Next up is your friends’ kids. Unofficial godson gets married in April. Has his mom’s eyes, but otherwise is a spitting image of his dad on college. Wow this life is short. Hope this isn’t a 737.

Rally don’t want to go. Really really don’t want to go. Not with where the folks are given setting up the house and their health issues. Your own workouts have been stymied with your own issues, so you’re not in the best condition. Least it’ll be cold. First trip without tendinitis, at least for now. 😂

You closed the store this time. No need to burden the folks with it, even though they were probably willing.

Yay. Atlanta. Gonna be a long day.

Sweet, a window seat!

Things You’ve Never Asked. 😂

This is not the first time
You tried to get away
This is not a party
Where people know your name
This is not a classroom
With teacher at the board
This is not a game show
With prizes at the door

Go
Don’t you go
Won’t you stay with me one more day
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night

This is not a horse race
Where winners beat the time
This is not a funeral
With mourners in a line
This is not a sitcom
Where everything’s alright
This is not a prison
With terror through the night

Go
Don’t you go
Won’t you stay with me one more day
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night

This is not the first time
(You tried to get away)
This is not a party
(Where people know your name)
This is not a classroom
(With teacher at the board)
This is not a catshow
(With prizes at the door)

Go
Don’t you go
Won’t you stay with me one more day
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night

This is not the first time
You tried to get away
This is not a party
Where people know your name

Where people know your name

* * *

So….. what about His Truth?

Perfection. 😂

Spring II

Spring the things that truly matter. 🫡 Awesomesauce to the best new emoji lolz…

Spring……

…In so many ways…. 😃

Enough.

The kind try not to ruffle feathers. The agreeable loathe confrontation.

The meek shall inherit the earth – not the weak.

You’ve been beyond blessed with so many good friends in your life. You’ve long respected that some have different views. What you hadn’t expected was one of them becoming more bitter and calcified against the beliefs you hold dear at *this* point in life.

Whatever. Sick of people taking pot shots at your values; double that from those who say they’re friends.

All those stuck up religious “better-than-yous” who don’t hang out with those not of the ‘flock’? Messed up that that makes sense sometimes; not that that’s you.

Jesus is our shepherd. But He didn’t teach us to be pushovers.

“Ha ha, you have to turn the other cheek”, they say. Swandagoodness. The dominant faith in the west and so many don’t understand it. Patience is a virtue, but even His had limits.

Do not repay evil with evil, nor seek revenge. Both are poison pills of pure copium. But have no fear to chase off the wolves. Sell your cloak and buy a sword, for you are sheep sent out among them.

And sheep don’t need to put up with it either.

This is really not the time for it, anyway.

Yes.

I hear You. Help me hear more clearly.

Driving I-26 after midnight in the Cougar. 80 mph. Windows and sunroof down. By law one of every three interstate miles straight so they can be emergency runways for the USAF…

Two decades back. Leaned the seat back so you could look up at the stars while cold breeze became a torrent, just so during those straight segments you could blink down and see the road just in case. You were virtually alone on it after 1am back then.

Tough to listem to it while still. Need the wind. Need the night. Need the open road.

Sorrowful, yet loving and hopeful. Tinges of apocalyptic events. Considering spiritual warfare is far more real than you believed it was back then… lyrics are even louder now.

What has meaning? In your life? In the lives of others? What vision of the future would you leave behind?

Do you want others to remember you? If so, why? Loved ones always will, but what of others? What did you stand for to them?

Heading to a funeral soon. One day you’ll be heading to those of your folks. Then your friends. Then one day your corpse will be the guest of honor.

Will you be able to echo 2 Timothy 4:7 then? Would you have fought the good fight when you’d finished the race? Would you have kept the faith?

Wording matters. We fight the good fight. We cannot win it – on our own. We are too flawed. Sinful. Broken. But we will all finish the race. And when we do, what matters the most is whether we kept the faith.

Because in the end… faith is what wins that fight.

Churches. States. Pastors. Governors. Cardinals. Representatives.

All of this world. Good relationships are so important in each. Participation in churches builds fellowship. Participation in civic duty builds strong communities.

But loyalty to God, the Father, and the Spirit is what matters.

So, who will one day fight while we stand still?

Only one place to look for now.

According to the High Command…

Isaiah.

Shoes

Said he wouldn’t need them anymore.

You have almost the same size. A few pairs of loafers would cause problems for your wide duck feet with narrow heels, so Goodwill gets them.

They are moving. Smaller house. They don’t want to leave but they have to. Can’t keep up the house they built. They are going over all the details you didn’t want to know. What they’ve worked lifetimes for. How it all works. They even asked if there was anything that surprised you. Of course the answer was no. It’s not like you really cared. You’d rather have them one day.

Been a rough week. The kind of week where all the bills have been paid, there is cheap food in the fridge, and money from work is inbound, but won’t be in for 4 business days.

They asked if you needed some. Hell no. By Friday you’d be set from both companies and you’d be fine. Had to remind them that not being able to order a pizza for a few days isn’t a problem. You don’t deserve them.

Millions all over the west are going through it. February doldrums. Could always be worse.

It’s not just them. Economics of different generations. Boomers had it all. Led them to have unrealistic expectations because they were such an aberration growing up in the postwar economy.

One good steady job could afford a household, mortgage on a house, car, raise a few kids, picket fence, whole 9 yards. Now? Yeah.

Future on mudball is bleak. First person got neuralink a few days ago. AI is poised to replace the job of everyone who stares at a computer screen for a living. Printed money floods the country that was already drowning and $34 trillion of debt.

Considering the first $6 trillion was from 1776 to 2000 and we’ve had $28 trillion since…

The word Unsustainability could never do it justice. And these issues sure aren’t just American ones.

What you would give to have had children of your own to worry about. Who knows, maybe that’s the reason you don’t have them.

Feel better? lol, A for effort…

* * * * *

Like a few days? Whatevs.

* * * * *

Now THAT’S funny. 😂

The Holy Spirit is in your heart.

You’re down. Worried. About mudball crib. Everyone in it. Your own life in the next 20-30 years and how it will go, if He has reason to keep you around as long as you pray he keeps Ted…

YouTube auto play goes to a retrospective video about the only Bond movie you really got into. End of it had brave music. Vid creator had the freaking decency to list the music used… and…. BOOM.

🫡🫡🫡

Might as well have screamed Matthew 6:34 into your ear.

Ask forgiveness for your worries. They mean you fear more than you trust.

It’s okay. Normal.

God. Can. Come. To. Bat. For…… ANYONE.

Call ANYONE.

And bless those who heed His call. Bless them. Hold them. Protect them. Reassure them.

Someone has chosen to answer You, Lord. Please give me the words. She asked. I did my best. She and her current and future family need You. She reached out to me and I’m scared. Afraid of letting You down. I’d literally written her off at one point. Then took a shot in encouraging her a few years later. Thought she never even had a chance; came to that false conclusion at Dragoncon 2019.

You made me into an idiot, and it’s been YEARS since I’ve been so happy to be one!

It’s not like I can “fail” her or the Texan she chose. YOU reach out to us. And we decide what to do then.

Hold. Fast. And bless both of them.

🫡

Wait… so you aren’t still kinda bothered by Dad’s shoes?

Ya know what? Nah.

Matthew 6:34.

In 500 years, what will it matter?

You’ll be in Heaven. With those you’re watching age before your eyes now. Mom. Dad. Even Ted. And will follow them there in a blink of an eye in the grand scheme.

So what… celebrate?

Lolz…. Not yet. The rest of your time in the crib will one day have been all in the blink of an eye… but while you’re here, you have a purpose to serve.

His.

So screw the broken CPAP mask, get a new one so you can sleep, rock the auditing, hit the booking, BE IN CHURCH, MAKE DAT MONAAY so you can support His causes. You have more to do than just coast.

If there were past lives, you guarded the wall at night while everyone else slept. It’s second nature to you.

Now you watch that night wall with some really nice shoes from a truly good man who has never understood you… but respects you… because no matter what you do in life… you grabbed the Holy Spirit and refused to let go.

A boss at a company you once worked at yelled at everyone in a meeting because someone left a door open and someone else could have stolen lots of his stuff from the warehouse. He was as royally pissed.

It was you. You hadn’t been there long, and the door was always open so the techs could get their inventory out – so you opened it and went inside.

After the meeting, you went to his office. The awesome Ukrainian who handled the copier building tried to stop you. Knew how pissed he was and he might just fire you,

“Sorry sir. It was me. The door was always open in the morning, so I opened it on the way in. Just wanted to make sure you knew what happened, and the mistake won’t be made again.”

The boss didn’t give a shit. Dismissed you after throwing veiled threats of firing you if you did it again. What a Jackass.

But whatever. It’s not like you weren’t going to make sure he knew what had happened, why, and it wouldn’t happen again.

Because you HOLD FAST.

Jerk later fired you for making too many mistakes thanks to your stupidity in being mad at the CPAP machine that you didn’t use it and brain fog messed you up enough that it was causing problems.

But even in that meeting… he went out of his way to say it wasn’t personal. Like… why would it be? Jerk had to let you go as an employee… but you could tell he had a semblance of respect for you as a person.

Considering your blood pressure went down 20 points after that, given your paranoia of unemployment? Yeah, he was a jackass and you were in a bad fit…

But… that jackass had a level of respect for you. Why? Because you chose to be true.

Again! WHY?

Because you HOLD. FAST.

AGAIN! WHY? Because He wants you to.

There are so many things you could never understand.

Good news? You don’t need to.😂

That old boss? He was an asshole. Selfish, arrogant prick.

You hope he and his wife’s company is still doing well.

Why? Because screw him and his wife and their company. NONE of them will take away from the grace you have in your heart.

And considering just how much they cost you by fighting to deny you unemployment benefits?

In a year when you needed medical treatment?!? 2020 FFS?!?

Matthew 16:23 (“mildly” paraphrased):

Fuck off, Satan. Get back there, you whiny little shit. You try to get me to see the world from my limited view, and not a true one that God has. Pussy ass little serpent bitch. Hell-bent on taking down as many as you can while LOSING.

Because that’s all you have left. And you’re too fucking full of yourself to admit you’re the evil piece of shit at the party – and can only get those who can’t figure out that Crib World is only what it is.

😂 God Bless ADHD, whatever idiot over here is re: insomnia, and the world to come.

Done with it. If it’s my first time, or my thousandth. AI and neuralink brain implants mixed with economic collapse and authoritarian horseshit and eating zee bugs are what is to come, and I’ve spent enough time here.

Give me the wisdom to come Home.

And the same to all those I love and care about.

And thanks for the cats.

No matter how shocked they are they’ll have ear medication “for the duration”. 😂