Enjoy your day off, barbecue, and the kids’ time at the pool.

It’s all around us. We just have to look.

But if you can’t find it… Be It.

They got married 47 years today. That’s a long time to be happy. Sharing the adventure of life with the person you care about most in it. Going places, building things together, you name it.

Heading to Saint Simons and Hilton Head Islands for the anniversary, somewhat mirroring their honeymoon going down the coast. Finally both now fully retired and in the clubhouse. After lifetimes of living frugally and investing for the future, they are settling in for what he refers to as “the duration”. Which is always followed by her rolling her eyes. They mess with each other like that. She’s always young at heart, and he always enjoys joking with her when he sees a nice nursing home.

They’ll never have grandkids. Amazing that they’re more fine with that that you are. They’re fine with anything when it comes to you being happy. And since you have made peace with that so have they. Kindness the likes of which few deserve. She even told you that she thought about buying a necklace for Crow because she knew she would like it. Beads and something white in the front you’re glad you forgot..

There’s a lot of things you’re not going to have. A 47th anniversary is one of them. And the strange thing is that’s fine. They deserve that; you don’t. And there’s actually nothing wrong with that.

Because they were once your age with a 13-year-old son and they didn’t deserve it then either. That’s got to be earned. Earned with love, Sharing the adventure of life, hard work, and as both of them would say: each giving 90%. Sounds crazy but it works. Neither one of them settled.

You don’t need to have 47 years. You don’t need to have children. When it comes to finding the one that’s meant for you, you just need God. You see His light shining through them. Just two kind, sweet, ridiculously simple people – who would see ‘simple’ as a complement.

Life is an adventure if you have the right partner in your life. They even used to move every seven years or so. As he earned more he could give her nicer places. But they would’ve moved regardless. Just fun mixing stuff upon occasion. And why not?

Why not live a life of optimism? Joy? Adventure? Even if the adventure is going to the other side of town to look at houses under construction if you’re both into that?

Why not? A really good question to ask a lot more often than you do. 🤔

Sure a heck of a lot better than the alternative.

Yeah match is a disaster. What else would you expect until you can get in better shape? Seven pounds is a good start; nothing more. Work is going better. Books are coming back up in and going out well thanks to the folks. Have to figure out QuickBooks and the video conversion stuff. Bottom line is things are getting better, slowly but surely. Still don’t know what to say you do for a living, but it’s getting better.

The profile’s out of date, but you’re not changing anything for now. You were in a good place when you started it so just keep it there for now.

You occasionally get takers but no one you’re interested in. A few shots in the dark, but no one you liked seemed to have much interest. And then L. She ‘liked’ you and even started a convo with “hi!” just like a bunch of others, but you looked at that profile and it had ‘fake’ all over it. Late 30s, attractive redhead, in great shape. Pretty smile. Just wanted to get out and socialize apparently. Christian/other and conservative. Not much else under interests. Pictures were beautiful. A little too convenient. No way it was real.

Ignored her for a while. Took another look. Whoever found the pictures and was using them did well. And then you thought for a second that 20 years ago this would never even occurred to you; why weren’t you as confident as you were then?

Why not just see? You took screenshots of the pictures and did reverse image searches just to see where they came from. Zero results. For either one. Wow. She was real.

”Greetings! How are you?” and….. she vanishes. No conversation, no nothing. You have no idea how the site works but apparently you were blocked. Like, then message, then blocked when you responded. Hmmm. Certainly not the first time that’s happened. But hey, a possibility.

The funny thing is you weren’t actually even really disappointed. But she was real. That’s what matters. And if you keep working on yourself, it actually may lead to daylight with someone. You really don’t need to feel as insecure. Don’t stop working on improving yourself. But things might not be as bad in that area as you thought they were.

Crow told you not to mess with match. It’s not like you want to; there’s really just not much else for finding people. Rings are everywhere else. Have been for years.

The key is Him. Who He wants you to be with. He’s ultimately the source of love and happiness in your life. Terrifying though isn’t it? You don’t even know what that means. Could’ve sworn it was leading somewhere for a long time and… yeah. But that’s really your fault; not His.

But maybe you’re not as bad off as you thought. Just keep improving. Walking more. Eating better. Figure out the latest sleep crisis. You have to. Because your mind isn’t into it right now; you’re not even really interested in dating. Which means now’s the time. That’s just the way life is. Fight your tendencies.

Time Squared.

Do you know those really annoying kinds of Christians? The ones who are supremely judgmental, condescending, and get in your face saying that you’re selfish and are going to hell (usually pronounced with two syllables)?

Off the top my head I’ve never seen anyone respond with “Wow, you’re right I had no idea. I’m going to do what you want.”

Regardless of anyone’s feelings on the vaccine, there is a lesson to be learned about the presentation of one’s arguments. 🤔

Rule of thumb: the harder you push, the bigger the middle finger…

Had that weird feeling you can’t put your finger on again today. It’s been a while. Things felt almost alien. Almost like you didn’t belong where you were, doing the things you did. Almost as if you were supposed to be hanging out with other friends from long ago. Or like work was keeping you away from some office where you were supposed to be working.

You haven’t felt this way in a long time. Well significantly at least. It’s almost like that feeling when you’re a kid and change schools. It doesn’t take you that long to find a crowd and blend in and as soon as you feel like you’re part of that crowd there is this oddness that seems to find you that the level of familiarity isn’t the way it was with the past crowd.

So difficult to explain. Now you want chocolate ice cream so bad. Not the ice cream substitute that you are eating to keep sugar intake low; The real stuff with chunks of fudge in it.

Well craving sugar means you’re actually accomplishing something.

Maybe the feeling stems from the fact that you don’t really interact with anyone on a regular basis in person like you would if you had an office job or lived in a busy apartment complex.

It’s almost like you could feel like you stepped into a parallel universe or something, and sensed some cosmic difference like Guinan in Yesterday’s Enterprise.

Celt is hardly home anymore. New guy. Something puts you off about that, but it’s probably just the eternal hatred you now have for being the third, fifth, or seventh wheel.

You’re tired in the afternoons. Have to fight the urge to take a nap. Wastes your time. Need to find out what’s wrong with energy levels; sleeping after work just robs you of time you’re going to wish you had back.

Sleeping has been difficult lately. Especially going to bed at a reasonable time. You’ve never had problems waking up too soon and not being able to get back to sleep. Been a plague the last two weeks. That damn chest pain is back too. Just doesn’t wanna go away.

Well get used to it. You’re not gonna get any younger.

It’s so easy to get angry right now. Not sure why. But there’s no place for that outside of college football season. Might go for a walk. Might drive somewhere to walk around because the area here is just so well-traveled lately.

Yeah that’s a good idea. So boring. Everything’s finally getting back to normal Covid-wise. Such a Beautiful day. Cloudless. Mid 70s. Would love to take someone to folly beach tonight. pick one of a dozen odd dinner places you’ve never been before. Warm breeze. Moonlight. Purpose.