Back To It

You’ve always loved this painting. HMS Renown charging off into a stormy sea. Ships do not often lend them selves to pareidolia, but every once in a while, one seems to have a mood.

She was the only British battle cruiser to survive The Second World War and the last of her kind.

That doesn’t really have any impact on the painting. Except maybe subconsciously a slight added sense of burden, which seems to go well with a night like this.

A burden you’re intimidated by, yet strangely comfortable with. Well more than one, actually.

Time charges on just like the turbulent seas… and it’s up to you to charge on just like Renown across it.

What you would give to find a port…

Two Miracles

 

Alan Fearnley; (c) Alan Fearnley; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

The pilots aboard the carrier Ark Royal were skeptical. They had every reason to be. Bismarck was a brand new modern battleship. She’d just destroyed the Mighty Hood, chased off Britain’s newest battleship Prince of Wales, and even already fought off another air strike by the carrier Victorious. They had no reason for hope. 

Ark Royal’s aircraft were Fairey Swordfishes, ancient biplanes of designs older than even the Hood. The World War I era designed planes could carry one small torpedo each. They were made of steel frames covered with fabric, and as slow as they were weak. Bismarck was cutting-edge, bristling with state of the art anti-aircraft weaponry.    

And desperation had become the order of the day.

When the the Mighty Hood sank by Bismarck’s guns, it shocked the whole fleet. The whole nation. The whole world. All the fears the Royal Navy had had about Bismarck seemed to be justified…and fear was becoming the norm.

France had fallen. Britain herself lay in ruins thanks to the Luftwaffe. She fought alone. Her armies in Africa were being routed by Rommel, who threatened Egypt and the Suez – which would cut Britain off from her empire…and Middle East oil. Germany had finished her conquest of mainland Europe, having just invaded Yugoslavia and Greece. Only the Soviet Union remained as any threat to Hitler, and it was an ally of his, having helped to carve up Poland.

All that sustained her were the Atlantic convoys, besieged by U-Boats. But even that threat was nothing compared to fears of the Bismarck. U-Boats could not stay out at sea for months on end, with mountains of ammunition and impenetrable armor. Bismarck could. 

Now with her flagship sunk, things had gone from worse to desperate. Britain had been queen of the seas for centuries, and even her battered and aging fleet could not appear to save her. Churchill knew that desperate times called for desperate measures, and knew what he must do.

Every British warship in the Atlantic was called to sink the Bismarck. Everything. Every destroyer. Convoy escort. Carrier. Cruiser. Everything. Eleven convoys would be unescorted. One with a huge amount of badly needed troops. It was all or nothing.

Ark Royal and Force H sailed north from Gibraltar, figuring they were too far away to do any good, even if they were actually equipped to. 

But even in the darkest moments, silver linings can be found. 

Unbeknownst to the British, in the battle with Hood and Prince of Wales, the latter battleship actually had landed a 14-inch shell on Bismark before being forced to retreat. It was a pinprick at most, but a pinprick in the fuel lines. The behemoth was losing fuel, and would have to return to port in occupied France sooner rather than later… and so she turned east – and towards Ark Royal.

Two gallant cruisers shadowed Bismarck, but lost her in bad weather, and when she was located again, she was but ten mere hours from the cover of the Luftwaffe in occupied France. There, she could join the battlecruisers Scharnhorst and Gneisenau and reunite with the cruiser Prinz Eugan and sail out to their hearts content to destroy convoys.  

The whole of the Home Fleet could chase Bismarck, but it was of no good if they were out of position and too far behind. Everything depended on Force H…and its mere 15 obsolete biplanes. They would only have time for two strikes.

The Swordfish took flight north, and in the bad weather found the large ship, mounting as strong an attack as they could make, but their torpedoes had faulty magnetic detonators and failed to damage their target. Even to add insult to injury they had mistaken the HMS Sheffield for Bismarck, and had squandered a vital chance to scratch the behemoth. The deck crews raced to rearm the biplanes, ditching the magnetic detonators, and readied them for their second and last chance. 

 Not long after, they got their chance. On a dark and rough sea, Bismarck loomed before the thirty men in the fifteen biplanes. The anti-aircraft fire was murderous, but the Swordfish carried onward. The first few launched their torpedoes, but Bismarck easily avoided all but one, one even exploding on contact with the water, having hit a strong wave and detonating. The lone hit was meaningless; the torpedo was nothing compared to Bismarck’s armor.

The rear seat pilot on one of the last remaining armed planes unsnapped his harness and physically climbed out onto the lower wing of the slow-moving obsolete plane. He held on for dear life, physically staring at the churning waves below to time the torpedo’s launch, knowing that they couldn’t risk a false detonation. “Now!” and the pilot pulled the lever. One last torpedo struck Bismarck, but the ship continued onward, seemingly unfazed. The Swordfish returned to Ark Royal, tasting final defeat, unaware of how they were even still alive.

And then…the unthinkable…

Bismarck had turned away from the safety of occupied France, and back towards the pursuing main British fleet. The Swordfish’s torpedo exploded harmlessly on the rear armor of Bismarck, but the force of the tiny explosion was just barely enough to jam her rudder, and send her steaming in circles. It was a one-in-a-thousand chance hit. Bismarck couldn’t maneuver, or reach safety. 

Hours later, the British Battleships King George V and Rodney, both low on fuel finally caught up to the wounded Bismarck. The two ships and their various escorts bombarded the German ship for hours, taking dangerous fire themselves. Though unable to maneuver, Bismarck was still a wounded animal, and the two British ships alone expended over 700 shells and she still wouldn’t sink. 

Eventually King George V and Rodney had to turn for home lest run out of fuel, and the cruiser Dorsetshire was tasked with sinking the battered and burning hulk with torpedoes. Explosions rocked the Bismarck one final time just after the torpedoes hit, as her crew detonated scuttling charges, seeking to deny the Royal Navy any prize.

>>>>> <<<<<

All the ferocity of the action from May 24-27’s Bismarck Chase, and everything hinged on two metaphorical slingshots: the lone consequential hit from Prince of Wales and the miraculous hit by one of Ark Royal’s outdated Swordfish.

Bismarck’s crew went from ecstatic in having evaded the whole of the British Home Fleet to crestfallen instantly when they received word the rudder was jammed. For the British, endlessly tragic news for the last two years, defeat after defeat after defeat, and those two slingshots proved to finally give them relief that the monstrous battleship wouldn’t threaten their lifeline. 

There would be endless horror and death still to come, but the desperately-needed victory all hinged upon the smallest of circumstances, each unknown to the British at the time. Whether it was anger or fear that motivated them, they knew the stakes, and sought to fight with whatever tools they could, despite being devastatingly outgunned. 

Their best wasn’t good enough to beat the Bismarck. Far from it. Their best was Bismarck’s first victim, blowing up like a Roman Candle. But in their desperation they fought nevertheless, with everything they had within reach. 

And two miracles came out of nowhere and bridged the gap, turning defeat into victory.

Just one, and it could be attributed to sheer luck. 

Never give up. Strive to hold true. Miracles happen.

 

Breaking Clouds

Mom’s supposedly alright. Doctors couldn’t find anything after making her stay till 1 AM. Abdominal or Gallstone  inflammation was the word, but now what? This brings forth even more hidden concern at what else might be going on, but for now it’s outweighed by thanks. Dad’s fine, just a tear and lots of bleeding. Just a preview. And a reminder. They won’t be here forever.

Finally heard back from other family. Reasons for more worry, but far more reasons for some relief.  She’s in trouble,  but if you have learned anything in the last two weeks it’s to try to be wiser in how you interact with her. Not sure what to call her. Think you’ll start calling her family. Yours is small enough; there is plenty of room. Will still be careful; have to be. Will leave to her how she wishes to proceed,  and the confusion has not let up at all, but you just want your family back. So give thanks.

Three day weekend with canceled plans leads to a lot of free time and lying around time. The good thing about having a three day weekend is it’s always accompanied by a very short week. 🤔 A reminder that no matter how bad things might get at work, you will have time to catch up.

Friend from Virginia is fine. She just got a lot of bad signs that one day and decided to hold off for another weekend. A bunch of contracts coming in keeping her busy after very little work is a good problem for her to have.

No word from insurance company after I sent pictures of my undamaged car. Parasite just looking for money will likely get ER visit paid for but nothing else.

The storm still is strong, and it’s a big one. It will be lasting for a while, so there is no reason for let up. Be thankful for everything you get to be thankful for, but you know it’s certainly not over…

The things breaking your way are just a down payment though. Doing good in the world does good for the soul, so maybe volunteering tomorrow is just what the doctor ordered.

Bismarck Chase was still underway 78 years ago. Not going to miss it.

Here, Spoleto festival has begun. No reason to miss out on the arts scene either.

What’s still out there is still waiting for you… but today is to be one of thanks.

Avoid The Wreckage

Mom and Dad…both in ERs in the same day for different reasons. Dad’s okay; Mom will likely need surgery, but will be too. Been waiting here for six hours. Tomorrow is their 45th anniversary.  The cruise is canceled,  but they’ll still be together.

Limping into a weekend after a horrible week of confusion and getting ripped on for being confused in a job that’s becoming more frustrating by the day…with no relief in sight. Need a raise; couldn’t ask for one until the working late pays off.

Still short one of your best friends; now far more worried for her than angry. Healed for the most part, but….still so confused. Hope she got the painting. All you know is it was signed for. Wouldn’t have sent it if you’d realized just how much she wanted no reminders of you. Still…you just want your friend back. 

All weighing heavily on your heart. So take comfort in smaller good things… right?

The very meaning to you of May collapsed when you finally found out that you were the villain 20 years ago, not the victim. It will never be the same.

Thought your lunch date went well, but you haven’t heard anything from her since.

Had plans this weekend with your surrogate sister, one of your best friends from college you haven’t seen in far too long…likely cancelled. She’d even wanted to try to hook you up with her friend’s sister. She won’t say why…which means it’s…worth being concerned about.

Dinged back bumper of someone in traffic who was well enough to giggle about it and not even file police report, before running to the hospital and filing a claim.

Money’s tight again; house’s air conditioner needed $2000 repairs, and car needs work done. Its AC is about to go; will probably last until…June.

Whelp….. this storm’s a jackass alright.

You know what to do.

Count every last blessing. Don’t give it an inch. This is why you have joy in your heart. This is what it means to have such joy.

There is Hope in every single thing you face. Hope springs eternal. Just …hope… you’ve earned it through Wisdom…

…and save the prayers for those in your life who need them far more.

Do some good in the world this weekend. It’ll do you some good.

You got this.

Bring it.

Plunging Fire

78 Years ago today…

Germany had a brand new and powerful battleship, the Bismarck. While Britain’s Royal Navy had so many more ships, nothing terrified the British more than the Bismarck. She was believed to outclass everything Britain had.

When the Bismarck tried to breakout into the Atlantic, The Royal Navy began scrambling their best units to try to stop her. Waiting for Bismarck in the Denmark Strait what is their newest battleship Prince of Wales, and the 22-year-old Pride of Britain, the Hood.

Hood was the largest and most powerful ship Britain had. Commissioned after world war one ended, she was the pinnacle of the battle cruiser – elegant, fast and graceful. Originally designed with less armor and more speed based on the disastrous lessons learned at the battle of Jutland, her design was improved and her armored belt thickened.

Her deck armor was slated for thickening just before World War II begin… but by then she couldn’t be spared.

Admiral Lancelot Holland flew his flag from hood when they engaged Bismarck, and steamed towards the German battleship at flank speed.

Holland knew Hood well. Her armament of eight 15 inch guns equaled Bismarck’s, so she could match the German ship for range, but Hood’s belt was her armor’s strength, not her deck armor.

At range, the guns had to be elevated. They fired high so the shells would rain down from above, as opposed to directly in a straight line to strike belt armor.

Bismarck opened fire 15 miles away. Hood swung to port briefly to bring all eight of her main guns to bear, and to avoid risking too straight and predictable a path. But it was too late.

Witnesses on the nearby HMS Prince of Wales said Hood went up like a Roman Candle and exploded. Bismarck’s Plunging Fire pierced her deck armor and her magazine detonated. 1418 men died within minutes. Three survived.

Plunging Fire is the worst. It’s infuriating when you have the same guns as your opponent, but they can hit you from range, like cowards. You could respond in kind, but what good would that do?

Stand tall. Close the distance. Board them if you can, but at least don’t let yourself get blown apart at range. Make sure that if they’re going to pull the trigger they see your face.

Hood, even as she was broken in half and sinking to her grave, fired one last salvo blindly from her forward turret.

Defiant to the end.

Screw Plunging Fire.

Two Glasses of Water

Romance

To hold her in my arms, so innocently. We relax on the couch, transfixed by whatever’s on the TV. I rest with my back against the pillow on the left side and she rests between my legs, protected from the world in my arms, which drape around her belly; clasped gently if she wants them that way, but it doesn’t matter. Her head rests on my chest, just beneath mine. She’s looked up at me upside-down with those beautiful eyes and smile once already. Thank God we’ve found each other.

We each rest after a hard days work – me, doing whatever I must for us; her, doing whatever she wishes for us. Us. Her. Me. One. I open my mouth slowly, and breathe warm air onto her right ear. Slowly. Her mind registers it subconsciously, before her body does; but only a few moments pass before my lips brush against her earlobe. Softly at first, but deliberately within seconds. I feel the quiver all throughout her body as she realizes what’s happening.

And in that second, my teeth strike. Gently, yet firmly on her earlobe. Just barely enough to give her a tinge of pain so she’s warned of the force incoming. She loves it. She loves me. She loves the way I make her feel. She loves the way I live to make her happy. She can’t say no. She won’t. Did we do this yesterday? Who cares. Not her. Not me.

I know what she wants. I’ve adapted myself to her, to feed her hungers. She never need to fear another woman. She is mine. I am hers. I would be no good for anyone else; she has seen to that in the way she feeds me, and I have been thrilled to reciprocate. Through my mashed teeth she hears my breathing. I tighten and loosen my bite, harmonizing it with her heartbeat. She’s quivering all over. She is candy to be devoured and she knows it.

“Baby…” she whispers. My hands respond in lieu of words, my right squeezing the center of her belly while the left reaches upwards to run through my fingers through her hair. She instinctively exhales and tilts her head to the left as I continue to softly caress her scalp. Her ear moves slowly out of range of my teeth, but I pull with my right hand and shift with my shoulder to place her within range once again.

“Yes…” I respond, whispering directly into her right ear, faking confusion as to her tone. “What is it?” So gentle. So firm. I toy with her. “What you thinking about, baby?” My words continue…softly, yet forcefully. I subtly tell her what I want to do to her. I mock her by asking her if she wants me, knowing her response will resemble a bobblehead. I kiss her neck gently, as if to preface my actions with just how much I treasure her…

I sink my teeth in even stronger this time. Squeeze with my right hand. Pause and squeeze with my left. She gasps. I can hear her exhalations and see the angle of her cheekbones. Her mouth is open. Panting. Her eyes glazed over. It’s just beginning. She can scream to her heart’s content; I’ve worked until 8:00 every night for a year just so we could soundproof this room.

This is the woman who has made me complete. This is the woman who has filled me with passion I could never have known otherwise. When I’m with her, she’s no damsel in distress and I’m no noble knight errant…she is my Empress and I am her fucking Warlord.

She loves me no matter what…whether I’m a fat schlub or fit as a Navy Seal. That’s why I do it. I physically train to keep my body so that it pleases her. Rowing machine. Crunches. If that’s what sculpts me into whatever makes her unable to say no. I literally don’t care. I exist for her happiness. No consolation prizes. No excuses. Nothing. She pretends to forget why she married me…knowing how much I thirst to remind her.

I will be everything for her. Everything she can possibly imagine. And I’m going to make damn sure that all day tomorrow all she can think of is how badly she wants to hold me when we both get home…

…and then place her lips against the back of my neck…making me quiver for her, as she moves to whisper into my ear…and it’s my turn to be conquered…

Tightly. Lovingly. With absolute Trust.  Trust with anything. Everything. Two glasses of water poured into the same flask. Two souls mixed together into one… inseparable. With no secrets…no regrets…two very souls being one.

This is what God wants for me. This is what God wants for her. I could scream at her to spit in my mouth if I wanted, and it’s Right. She could beg to swallow my cum, and it’s Right. I could spend hours on my knees pleasing her until my bottom teeth draw blood from slicing apart the base of my tongue…and it’s fucking Sacred. It’s True. It’s Everything and more – because it’s Us. Me and Her.

Me and her. No limits. Absolute Love. Unceasing exploration…  The kind you can only have when you are free, never having fear of what else may be going on in your lives…

I’ve waited so long to give my woman my kind of Love. She can’t be a prude. She can’t be put off by passion. She must…she must…be my equal…at least… I can’t have anything less… Have tried…and hurt innocent women. No more…

Please…..make her worth the wait, Lord. Only You know just how hungry I’ve become…

Hope

They say it springs eternal. And they’re right. Problem is hoping when there is no hope. Seeing hope as a plan of action instead of a reason for a plan of action.

Cart before the horse. Chickens before they hatch.

Hope must be earned through Wisdom. If grasped for too early, it is far more dangerous than fools gold.

Give yourself a reason to hope: Optimism is a true friend. But as in all things there must be balance.

Strive for wisdom. May isn’t what it used to be, is it? There’s no safe harbor to be found in Hope… especially Old Hope.

Old Hope…is delusion. And you’re finally now just realizing it…after 20 years no less.

Strive for Wisdom. Wisdom, above all things…

Let Wisdom lead you to Hope… it’s a far better sextant… 🙂 🧭 ⛵️