Each one of those things weighs 29 pounds. We’ve placed over 2,000. Arms bruised to various shades. Halfway done.
You’ve kept up with these horses, three of which are well-conditioned amateur MMA fighters.
You’re hurting more and more exhausted than they are, fighting through tendinitis and lack of conditioning, but you’re recovering well enough to know you’re going to be good enough for another week.
That feels good. You can’t wait to get home though. Store is taking off, and the folks are keeping up.
You told them you would put the store on pause, and dad said he had nothing better to do. They actually enjoy feeling useful. You really don’t deserve them. Glad things are the way they are these days; sure hasn’t always been that way.
Thank God they’re just going. Trust Him to keep leading you. Feels like you’re being tossed across a storm. Not adrift… just not sure where you’re going. Heavy seas, but she’s handling just fine.
Gray skies. Cold mud. Heavy physical labor. Every part of you hurts. Sleep comes easy though. Tough to even have hobbies when you’re this sore every day. 10 more days. Can’t wait to get home and it’s only been four.
Could always be worse. It’s enough money to do nothing the rest of a month and pay all the bills.
The money is going to be amazing. Dreading the trip though. Hate airports. Two weeks. Hotel room Very little to do. Rural Pennsylvania. Could definitely be worse. We’ll see how it goes.
A new journey is a new journey, though. No reason not to enjoy it.
The date isn’t be really with the Holy Spirit, and that needs to be a requirement going forward. Too bad.
Well, at least things are falling into place in the area you need them to the most. Things are gonna be fine. One thing at a time.
Decisions. The good news is you have a lot of options. The bad news is it doesn’t seem like it. Money will finally be coming in for the new store on the seventh. It’s not much yet, but it will definitely help.
One key decision you had to make was what to work on until things got back up and running. Hit the job market full bore, or bet on what you’ve built up in the last year or so and keep plugging with very low income with the new guy at the helm. Big talk. Other guy though he was doomed to fail. One path or the other. You couldn’t travel if you were pinned down.
Another potential opportunity to do something 1099 at a company a friend works with. If both could be done remote, you’d be in okay shape short term.
And while building the new store. Lean weeks. Lots of work. No money. Low income mode again. Nothing you can’t handle; like being 30 again.😂
Then, as they often seem to for you, the clouds part. Money for Pennsylvania starts coming in, and it’s now a grind to get HR into place in one week. Blog entries take days when you’re neck deep in OSHA regs. 😂 You’ll get your “old” job back and hit the field making even more. Store finally starting to earn at the same time.
So many small revenue streams. Some not as small as others. You feel like God is showing you an opportunity to move towards something more your speed, with a long-term goal of building something yourself. It’s a choice between that and just going back to what you’re familiar with, only this time get more money for your time at a job you don’t really care about to make a millionaire richer.
Good news is you’re actually not bad at these decisions when they present themselves. It’s the main reason why you’ve had a comparatively well off life.
There are endless examples of people born into great situations that constantly face hardship because they just couldn’t make a good decision to save their life.
You don’t have any ex-wives, never broken a contract, never spent time in jail for doing something stupid, or gotten sued. Have a good credit rating, and great relationships with really good people who look out for you as you do them, and yet when something is important to you, you still take risks. Like you just did.
Generally speaking, you’re gonna be okay if you do these things. Keep eating your vegetables lolz.
A friend wants to set you up with someone she knows from work. Someone who knows quickBooks lol. Who knows? Maybe this weekend.
Do a better job of being with God. Be grateful. Nothing you have is yours. Everything is a blessing.
You rolled the dice and looks like it’ll work, at least for now. Hold true, don’t tolerate drama, and keep pushing forward. Give glory to God for all you have. This life isn’t the one that really matters.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
You loved it. Her passion was just the beginning. Simple fact is you felt whole with her. Being part of her. Looking up at her powerfully making love to you. In bed. On the couch. By a roaring fire like you’re beside now. It felt… sacred with her. It wasn’t sex. It was so much more. Spiritual was just the beginning. How she enthralled you so effortlessly. Claimed pleasure from you so majestically while teaching you the meaning of fulfillment.
Every single time it was like every ounce of pain you had ever known was meaningless when she looked into your eyes moaning your name.
So powerful. Elegant. You could not believe you had found her. A lifetime of waiting for she who entranced your body, mind, and soul.
You never got used to her taking you inside her completely, as if you were a couple desperate to have a child together. It was like you couldn’t believe it was happening. Every. Single. Night. Day. Whenever. Because you had found the only woman.
Did she ever realize what that meant to you? What you were risking in the back of your mind? Either you were full of it all these years, or you were willing – knowing the risk she explicitly explained to you – to face the same specter of the literal greatest fear that injured you so long ago.
For her. Because she was her. Even now your body pines for hers, along with your mind and soul. Probably always will.
Until the day you die, you will know you were meant for her. You felt sure before you experienced bliss of being with her. After? No choice in the matter.
You wanted her to be your Guinevere, but she chose to be your Blanche Fleur. The only positive way to see that on a ‘chilly by southern standards night’ is that the pressure is off.
Whoever you find in the future will sing to you in some way you can’t imagine now. Life has already thrown you a curve ball or two since then. Maybe you’ve learned something; maybe not. Time will tell.
Yeah, sure it would be great if you could forget how happy you were. But when you really think about it in the grand scheme, why on earth would you want to?
As positive as you are, there is no reason to forget the happiness you had. The completeness of becoming one with someone who was literally your other half.
Who knows… maybe you’re wrong., and the best is yet to come. But if you aren’t? You got to experience true completeness on a level very few will ever know in this life.
The glass is half full… and always will be.
Thank God for the Joy your heart has. No matter what… It couldn’t come from anywhere else.🕊
It didn’t feel like Christmastime. Didn’t feel like it would ever feel like Christmastime again. Didn’t feel like watching the movies or specials. Didn’t feel like putting the decorations on the tree to make mom happy since she doesn’t have a grandchild to spoil. Didn’t feel like having all that wonderful food. Sure didn’t feel like getting presents. Didn’t even feel like shopping for presents.
This year it was watching the nativity story and the 11pm service at church online as the folks went to sleep.
And when you got it through your head that every last one of your problems were merely of this world thanks to Christ, and focus on celebrating His birth…
…Christmas magically appeared.
The faster you can get over yourself and just focus on Jesus, the better things are just going to be.
Goodness knows it’s tough. You have Jesus in your heart and you keep stumbling. Making your problems yours as if you’re better at dealing with them than God is.
Keep working on it. Understand that you probably always will be – and that’s fine. Be grateful that you don’t have to understand why. You just understand.
On the way home, you thought about the sweet dog you saved with her a year ago. Such a good memory. And you’ll always have it with you. There’s room for that.
Just don’t forget where gentleness, kindness and love come from. Focus more on that – Him – and less on yourself.
The only thing you can do about not having what has filled you with happiness in the past… is finding what will fill you with happiness in the future.
Easier said than done. Rampant change surrounds you. Okay. And just like last year this time… you don’t mind… 🕊🐬🫡
It’s Not a Frame of Mind 