You need to get outside more. Getting back in the gym is paying off, but with all the heat and the fact that you live and work at home, you just haven’t gotten a chance to get out into the summer.

(Not the Stranglers. But wow… an amazing job with a Mariachi twist. How did you miss this one?)

The sun on your hair over time gives it that golden tinge you always liked. Since it’s still mostly brown, you have a good few years of enjoying it. Simple pleasures in life. 😂

Deployments keep getting pushed back. Gar. Definitely could use a big check heading into Con. Well if not, going all in on the store can work; you certainly have the time to just bulldoze a bigger payment out of it.

Either way Con is closing in. Just about a month and an half out. Last year was amazing for interesting reasons. You didn’t know if that was going to happen again, but you sure wouldn’t mind it.

But now throw in from left field someone else wants to join you that one your best friends made sure to point out was single. OK well the asking her to con was your idea and she got excited. 😂 Lol yeah, you definitely wouldn’t mind. Who knows, that might even be crazy enough to work. Which means don’t worry about it and just see. People have to drop out all the time; so it might not happen. Would really be nice though.

Whatever. Just go ahead and admit you have your hopes up. 😂 But worst case scenario, you still get to do Con. V will be there again, and the rest of your usual group. Gonna be great. 😊

Open seas and skies ahead. Into 1st Corinthians now. Led here after Ecclesiastes. Important to remember what it means to have spiritual life in harmony with your temporal life. Feel how they rhyme. How much you need Him. To navigate the storms you face in life, be they those you can see around you and those you can’t. Doesn’t matter how easy or how rough they are… you need Him to be at the helm to get you where you want to go.

Golden brown, texture like sun
Lays me down, with my mind she runs
Throughout the night
No need to fight
Never a frown with golden brown

Every time just like the last
On her ship tied to the mast
To distant lands
Takes both my hands
Never a frown with golden brown

Golden brown, finer temptress
Through the ages she’s heading west
From far away
Stays for a day
Never a frown with golden brown

A woman, an odyssey, or heroin. Pick your meaning. Atlanta is west.

Sooner or later, the rhythm literally is going to get you… 😂

No idea why you like this music so much. You always have. A lot of the upbeat and cheerful electronica that’s on various anime stuff. Things you normally would have very little interest in. You like the music though. There’s always been some thing “familiar” about it. It and lots of songs that you hear here and there.

More tied into that new wave 80’s style music you turn into every once in a while on YouTube. Something about it just makes you feel young. Energetic.

Going back to the gym might be helping too. You’re not gonna start back with 1000 calorie days, but outside of the blisters on your feet, it’s not that bad.

Beginning rhythm reminds you of another from much earlier days. God Bless Gloria Estefan and the deep part of the 80’s. That Top Gun Soundtrack was perfect to run to.

LISTEN TO THAT. Remember those first dreams of romance you had. Memories of those dreams flood the imagination just like they did when your thoughts of girls named Kelly and Jessica wouldn’t leave. 😂

Same music when you ran cross country a few years later, along with most of the rest of that soundtrack. Music and made you want to MOVE.

In the end

Two hearts will meet

And maybe they’ll find

whatever they seek

If they can

They’ll learn how to keep

The faith that they found

In the sound of the beeeeeeat….

And here you are now, 46, single, and pfffft…

Nah.

Not tonight.

Things feel like they’re looking up.

You’re young. You always have been. 😂

101 ❤️

Wants him to win.😂

Well, what’s next? Ecclesiastes was good. You can have a lot of optimism in your heart, and that’s wonderful, but left to its own devices can lead to blind spots. You can quote the wisdom of proverbs until you’re green in the face and it’s not gonna help someone who tries to do the right thing and still gets bit. Wasn’t even that long.

A lot of people can read the Bible, just book by book chronologically, which honestly makes the most sense, but you’ve tried that in the past and failed miserably. Do the genealogies really matter? Well, they’re in the Bible also why wouldn’t they? But why would they?

This way is more haphazard, but you ask and you get vibes. They don’t usually steer you wrong and hey if they do, oh the horror… you’re still reading the Bible.

Vibes are leaving you do a mix things up kind of place all right and First Corinthians. Definitely not a bad idea to get into the Jesus part. You certainly have enough time between deployments these days. New Texas gig keeps getting pushed back, so there’s no reason to cut back on booking.

You miss being able to go with dad but he can barely stand. Hip again. Seems like they’re both falling apart. And what a wonderful time to considering they’re going to have to give up the house and get a smaller place an hour 55 and up neighborhood soon.

Having a cast on your arm better make your own tendinitis go away, but as long as these deployments, keep getting pushed back at least you have more time to heal between now and then.

Your health is at least improving. Getting sick of the same meals. From that service you’ve been using a long time so you just broke down and ordered a pizza because it had been so long. And lol your system really wasn’t used to it and maybe you just ate it too fast but wow was it heavy. Yeah you’re just not used to bad food anymore. So chalk that up to be a good thing. Bananas do make great snacks; not a bad habit you develop there.🤔

Hopefully the chest pains are mental in nature. It would suck to die of a heart attack at 46, but given the way so many other people eat compared to you that would pretty much just had to be something you have no control over.

Lol another good reason to go ahead and start in with first Corinthians. Especially since it’s been so long between Bible study nights. You’ll figure it out. Things could always be worse… and one day they will be. But even then not forever. 🙂

Heat advisories all over; could always be worse…

Thursday. Then Sunday. And then Tuesday. Well, one can just be grateful for the fact that the gig is still going on; it’s been about a month since you got back from Texas last.

Tendinitis still doing a good job of making things annoying; even with the cast. It’s nothing compared to the crap dad is having to go through yet again with his hip.

He told you I can’t really do much booking because he can’t even stand for too long. Said it like it was an apology. You seriously don’t deserve them. 😂

Not the best time for them to start moving, but they just can’t keep that house up. So it’s a new place in a 55+ planned neighborhood. You’re not sure what bothers you more – the fact that they’re giving up their house they built to go to some cookie cutter neighborhood or the fact that nine years you could join them there.

Well, one thing at a time…

Yesterday, Dad spent time with your last uncle who is on his own last legs. A lifetime of cigarettes and COPD. Can’t even walk 1000 steps, and won’t qualify for a lung transplant. Death is just coming at you lately in the last two years; hitting all over the perimeter in your already small family.

Just pray everyone makes it Home.

Ecclesiastes was good. The message dark but beautiful. Simple. Rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. Bad things happen to good people, and even living wisely, is no guaranteed hedge against the unpredictable ravages of life.

So sometimes it’s good to just shut up and enjoy the sunset. A passing tune. Spending time with an old friend. Finding something to be happy about and not letting go, even knowing your life can take anything away from you whenever it wants.

Sure, follow all those proverbs and you will build up as much as a defense against life’s entropy as you can – it’s certainly better than ignoring what’s good for you.

But there’s only one actual answer.

Get closer to Him. Always good advice. You’re not gonna be Enoch, so there’s always room to grow.

The next gig – whenever it is – is going to be building; like Pennsylvania. Painful and draining. A lot worse than everything you’ve done since. Nothing you can’t survive though; and no reason not to kick ass with the rest of your guys.

Another day in the life. No idea where it’s going, but you sure have a window seat.

It’s more appealing than the alternative. Well, you made it to 46. Amazing vision your entire life. You could see individual leaves on trees from hundreds of feet away when you were younger. Not sure when the last vision test was, but it just for fun sometime around 15 years ago. 20/13 vision. Despite the damage to the tear ducts from that old accident from when you got your face ripped off, dry eye when you left a movie theater wasn’t too bad.

Not sure when things started not looking as crisp. Just remember when you started to notice. Deployment and you were marking machines. The tiny numbers 34 and 41 looked alike. Seriously tiny numbers. Like no one would have an easy time trying to discern them. But for once you certainly didn’t either.

Avoided worrying about it as best you could. But you needed to see if there was something wrong. And so you went into the eye doctor for the first time since all those trips to check out the damage that had to heal back in the late 80s.

You took the vision test and the doc diagnosed you with a case of A.G.E. It’s a good thing that you enjoyed having amazing vision because now, it’s plain old “good” 20/20 vision.

Could always be worse. In a different world, He didn’t make you blink in that split second and you don’t have a right eye. Well, either Him or ‘wow what a coincidence…’ 😂

Whatever. Plenty of eyedrops because the tear gland is actually getting worse. And three pairs of reading glasses, with blue light filters… magnification 1x.

It sucks how useful they are.

Maybe it will make dating easier.

One fun story. What’s not to love about a guy taking a road trip in America before there were even modern roads… with his friend a mechanic and Bud the dog… 😂

Had a cool name too.

Just love it… 😂

Being out here is invigorating. Outside of that one day at 17 you helped finish construction work at the first place you worked, these deployments are the easily the hardest you have ever worked.

There have always been days here and there, but this is just… what you do – every day. And you’re doing it nearly 30 years later, and holding your own with some tough guys.

Heading home a week early for rotation. More gigs coming so rapidly mean new guys need training and there’s only so many spots open before the chaos.

What’s interesting is that you really prefer one week deployments, but you’re kind of bummed. You were mentally ready to push forward next week.

That insecure part of you is worried you’re not doing a good enough job because you’re not as fast as everyone else and the lower back and arm pain is evident… but that’s just because of issues that you’ve already gotten past.

You know better. You handled Pennsylvania and that was a lot heavier. Plus, you enjoy being reliable. Wow that last job really messed you up. Just a terrible environment. Could always be worse though.

Lol fell asleep. Brain dead in the plane.

And back home now. Any worries were unfounded. Another opportunity soon. Wasn’t what you were expecting to do with your life, but it’s certainly a good way to spend 2023. Between this and the bookstore it’s the best money you’ve ever made. Meeting interesting – very interesting – people.

Need to make God more part of it. Then again, this is always going to be the case. Not because you’re gonna keep failing; it’s just never a bad idea. He’s the one leading you where you’re going right now. Just like He led you to work here and to this path of entrepreneurship.

Bible study had been on hold for a little bit because the hosts had another kid. 😂 that doesn’t mean you can’t figure something out though. Maybe start with a crotchety old man of Ecclesiastes and they ‘bring you down to earth’ attitude that it’s just not a bad idea you keep in mind.

You definitely overcorrected too far from the arrogant phase after college. And in all honesty, yeah, it’s better to err on the side of humility.

But introspection is the key to so many things in life. All of us are broken and flawed. Maybe the solution isn’t “enter a new phase” as much as it’s “eternal vigilance”.

Wow.

Since you do this voice to text, you actually heard that out loud. And in all honesty, that means you’re doing a lot better than you thought you might be. You’re not necessarily looking for a new phase, where you could be more prosperous. You’re in one.

And, if that’s the case, you have one more blessing to be grateful for.

Texas was nice. The western part, where you could get a new level of understanding of what the dust bowl must’ve been like.

New gigs are opening up. Another in Texas. One maybe even here in South Carolina. You’re getting stronger and healthier, so you’re able to handle these gigs better. They aren’t a long-term career path. But that’s not what this path is.

Where will it go next?

We’ll have to see. Until then, let’s get those books in and out, and just see how far you can go. 👊😊