Warspite

HMS Bull in a China Shop.

It’s funny that very few people know the names of the captains were the sailors aboard Warspite. It’s the ship herself that’s the legend.

How could she not be? Bull in a China shop in two world wars. An entire German high seas fleet. To Warspite, it was in the way. A flotilla of rowboats to be trampled over like a knight galloping over infantry.

Nothing could kill this ship. Not even her own government in peacetime. They even tried and Warspite didn’t care.

Other ships were in the way? Warspite hit them. Rocks? Warspite hit them. Countries? Hit them.

Negative. Fucks. No matter what mishaps may have happened. No matter what the damage was. Terrible, demoralizing things would happen and Warspite gave Negative Fucks.

The pride of the Italian Navy named after Julius Caesar himself. Barely able to be made out on radar over the Horizon further than any battleship had ever scored a hit. Poor stupid bastard.

Goodness knows what happened earlier in the day to piss Warspite off, but when she got pissed off, she would wear out her guns being pissed off for long periods of time.

Adversity all around. Surrounded by death. What was tragedy to other ships was inconvenience to her. She took her share of hits and always had repairs to make, but no one was ever going to sink this ship.

Yeah, bad things happen. It’s how we respond that matters. Not everything can be bulled over like Warspite did to whatever sought to annoy it, but there is something to be said for solid, stout resolve. Maybe to find a better way of doing things. Maybe to find a second win. Maybe realizing wholesale change is needed.

Even Warspite got refits. But the Resolve… just the Resolve.

And how on earth she wasn’t American… 😂🇺🇸🇬🇧

Crutches

A lifetime ago you were 18. All region cross country. You literally jogged up the mountain. Last time you went, you brought friends that couldn’t make it past the halfway mark. So it’s actually been about seven years since you made the top. Had an interesting discussion with someone on their mutual appreciation for HMS Warspite yesterday. Most likely the only warship and all of naval history to actually give negative fucks. Even Warspite had to get refits. Do you need these dorking trekking poles? Whatever. You did enjoy the waterfalls. Made notes in Psalms, right now for some reason they only book you can read and absorb. Found a couple that spoke to you, and then found 77.

You sat there on a massive rock as the water rushed all around you and couldn’t help but think that whoever wrote it literally meant it for you, at that place, that time, in that state.

Dad told you a nice little place to eat at Travelers rest called Whistle Stop. Sounds nice. Check in. Get some food. Go to CVS and get enough NyQuil to knock your ass out early to make sure you get sleep. Be at the rock at 10am. And be ready.

We will see what you have learned.

Water fall

You weren’t smart. Couldn’t get much sleep last night. Brought too much water. You didn’t realize you had 16 fing bottles. Haven’t put this much strain on your shoulders since you injured one two years ago. Knees shaky already; if one of them buckles you *will* get hurt. Leisurely stress-free start, but… arrived just after noontime. Even if you made it to the top you wouldn’t have any time to enjoy it.

Two choices. Fail…

…or save your energy, don’t wear yourself out, and come back tomorrow.

Fail today… or maybe fail later.

Plan better. You used to be able to just do things. Not anymore. Don’t feel bad for aging. Or being improperly prepared. Adapt.

You love the waterfalls. Always wanted to spend some time there, but you never could if you wanted to make it to the top and back by sunset.

Today’s the day. Be prepared for tomorrow.

Learn from this.

Professional

Time to break a rule. 🤔

It’s business. Never personal. No matter the field. Professionalism sets the tone. Issues are worked through. Situations are managed. Sure there’s tedious work. Boring. Intensive. You name it. But it’s work. It’s great when it’s lighthearted. Amazing when you love what you do. But at the end of the day, we have faith in ourselves to do the work we’ve trained for.

And all the other things we say when we feel burnt out.😕

There are so many opportunities out there, for all of us. It’s really daunting when you feel those walls boxing you in. But this is just the first step in a plan that will revolutionize our lives. Whatever that first step is… we are professionals… and that daunting feeling is why we need to channel that. 🙂

I’m scared too. Uncertainty in my world… I don’t know what to make of it. But I can handle things. I just need a plan, and to start in on it. Courage will form to push me past all the broken plans the year has destroyed, and Need will seal the deal.

Compartmentalize. Adapt. Channel thought. Plan.

I have faith in you. You got this. 👊😊

Hope

It’s not a problem for the long run. But in the short run… you need to ask Him for Hope. For your future. For those dearest to you. For your country.

This cycle must end. A new world awaits you… but that storm terrifies you. Everything you hold dear.

Trust Him.

He loves you.

He will show you the way.

Always.

Dinner Party

Night time at our home. Having a get together for some friends. Busy night planned, party with hors d’oeuvres, dinner being catered. She looks magnificent. Silver earrings. Black dress. Otherworldly smile. A bit shy tonight and I don’t understand why at first.  quietly looking over at me from the kitchen where she is speaking with wives of some of my friends; though I don’t know who. Her smile loving, As she lowers her brow. She wants me. Badly. She is smiling and nodding in the conversations, but her thoughts are filled with me. Wanting me. Every part of me. Mind. Body. Spirit. I’m free of fear. Pain. Anger. We both are.

The house is amazing. 2-3 stories. Marble floors. Not a mansion, but many rooms, two wings… plenty of space. Pleasing environment. Plants scattered here and there, but the sunroom is a garden unto itself. The living room is a ballroom tonight, and the catering has used the kitchen well and cleaned up spotlessly. Light colors for the walls. Stucco? Not beige… the non-boring kind of beige. Like a nice elegant house like one would picture in San Diego or Miami.

The guests have fun. Ambient music in background, reflecting calming music the real world had playing as I slept. The crowd enjoyed themselves, and eventually began to file out. As each slowly left, she got closer. Her smile got more narrow. Her eyes betrayed her desire until she deliberately projected it. I loved every second. She wanted me. She loved me. She needed me.

Yet then, just as the last of our friends left, we hear some voices from another living room, this one in the center of the house. Several elegantly dressed people. Older. Wealthy. Important people. Leaders in industry. Maybe a legislator. All with smiles, laughing, having a good time. The party was actually for them. And they came to visit us. Celebrate something we did. I think me, but “me” is “us”. I’m nothing without her, and vice versa.

We had invited our friends over to join us. Meet some of the important folks. Maybe do some networking, who knows. She has forgotten about the “important” guests, and I could see her glaring at them. She was thankful they were there. She liked them. She knew how important they were. How much they meant to us and our future. But her breathing had intensified. Eyes narrowed. She wanted them gone, now. She could barely contain herself. She wanted me. She backed away and moved into the background to “give me a hint” as if by now I didn’t feel the same.

But with it she had piqued my mischievous side. I smiled at her lovingly and approached the guests, and joined in the conversation. Pretending I didn’t know what she wanted. Making her wait. 😂

She fumed… not out of anger; but of hunger. For me. She knew what I was up to; she knew everything about me. She saw my mischievous smile and the sentence she would subject me to simply got longer.

She eventually retired for the evening; thanking everyone for coming. Her face was red and her eyes piercing. She spoke on the opposite side of the room so as to not lunge for me right then and there. Less than a minute passed before I smiled at the guests and told them to make themselves at home. I didn’t care anymore. Not with what awaited me. I stepped off into the hallway and went down into the opposite wing of the house into one of the guest rooms. Not our bedroom, because I know where she really went. Closed every door between the ballroom and her arms. Stepped into the furthest corner bedroom with the dim lights and closed the door.

Us. As if caps were pulled off of fire hoses. The most important people in the state… Forgotten about. I didn’t care. I couldn’t. And hell with anyone who could. She wanted me. She loved me. She needed me. That’s all that would ever matter. The music was with us now. The night was ours. The whole world was too.

It was wonderful.